Rose Hathaway :: Vampire Academy (lildampeer) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2015-05-21 12:10:00 |
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Entry tags: | dimitri belikov, rose hathaway |
Who: Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Belikov
What: Rose is upset, Dimitri unexpectedly shows up to comfort her
When: May 19, after she tries to talk to Lissa again
Where: Their cabin from home, near the graveyard
Rating/Warnings: Mentions of character death, lot of feels
Lissa had every right to be angry with her and Rose knew it, but that didn’t make the tension between them any easier to deal with. She and Lissa had been best friends since kindergarten. She could barely remember a time when she and Lissa hadn’t been in each other’s lives. She knew it was her own fault, she knew it was her own choices that had caused this, but that didn’t make her feel better at all. Things were tense, they were so awkward and she had no idea at all how to fix it or if she even could. As she often seemed to when she was upset, Rose found herself making her way to the cabin after she was done with her graveyard patrol shift. The events surrounding Dimitri’s arrival in Lawrence meant that place didn’t only hold happy memories for her, but she still found it comforting to be there. It reminded her of a time when things had seemed much simpler, even if she also couldn’t help being reminded about how bad things had gotten after that attack on the school. Rose slipped quietly inside and made her way over to the bed where she sat down, pulling her knees up to her chest. Resting her chin on her knees, she sighed. She and Dimitri were trying to be friends, but that was hard, too, because she could clearly remember being so much more and being happy. She’d missed him so much during those months in Lawrence without him. It hardly seemed to be fair that they’d have to go through this all over again, but this time Rose had a new understanding of what he was going through. And a big part of her felt like she didn’t deserve to be happy. Both of those things meant she’d been trying to give him his space, but she missed him. He’d told her he was there for her, but it was still second nature for her to try and deal with things on her own. Besides, he’d only tell her nothing that had happened was her fault and she knew better. Maybe she hadn’t been in control of her actions as a Strigoi, but everything she’d done before and after that? That was all on her. Even though she was trying not to shut people out so much, anymore, there was still a part of her that thought her friends - all of them - would be better off without her after the way she’d hurt them. -- Dimitri was worried about Rose and Lissa. He’d gotten to know the girls well since he’d first dragged them back to St Vladimir’s. And, the idea that their relationship had been affected by what had happened was something he found alarming. He knew the girls had been best friends since they were very young. And he cared very deeply about both of them. And, if he was honest with himself, it was more than that with Rose. But, he still didn’t feel that he deserved the way she felt for him. Not after everything that had happened between them while he was strigoi. Still, it were those feelings the ones of guilt, as well as love that drove him to seek his student out. He knew where she’d be. The first place he’d found her when the seal had brought the soulless creature that he was here. He paused as he entered the cabin and saw her sat on the bed. That bed brought back so many memories for him. The good ones from before the strigoi attack on the school, as well as the more recent bad ones. He knew that she’d already done all of this, that they’d been together in her more recent experience at home. That he’d managed to believe himself worthy of her love again. But, it was hard to reconcile that knowledge with the guilt he felt. But, mostly he needed to look out for her. He felt responsible for all that had happened. And, it was hard to not want to go to her then, comfort her. But, he wasn’t sure how much she’d accept that right now. Not if she was feeling the same way he was. Instead, he cleared his throat to let her know he was there. *** Rose didn’t hear Dimitri when he first came in, but that wasn’t really surprising. They’d both been trained to move quietly and it was something they tended to practice even when they weren’t trying to sneak up on the bad guys. She looked up when he cleared his throat, though, and offered him a small smile. “Dimitri. What are you doing here?” She was surprised, but definitely not disappointed. She might not have felt like she deserved a happy ending after the things she’d done, but that didn’t keep her from being happy to see him. They hadn’t really spent any time together since before his own restoration, even though they’d texted and talked on the network and Rose wasn’t remotely unaffected by him standing there, just a few feet away from her. He was just as good looking as she remembered, but it wasn’t his looks alone that drew her to him. There was something about just his presence that usually had the ability to calm her. Now, seeing him brought up some conflicting emotions, but the bigger part of her was happy to see him. She’d had more than enough time with him as a Strigoi when the Seal had first brought him here, but this was really the first time she’d gotten to see this much of him as himself since her own restoration. It was a sight that was even more beautiful to her than the one on Regina’s island had been, but she still couldn’t help wondering why he was here. Despite the words they’d exchanged over the network, she’d been pretty sure he didn’t really want to see her. *** Dimitri smiled down at Rose. He wasn’t exactly sure why he was there either. Just that he felt responsible for everything that happened. Even though they’d all told him not to. It was hard when he remembered every second of it, vividly. He dreamt about it every night. Saw the faces of everyone he killed when he closed his eyes. “I’m not sure.” He said, as he slowly approached her. Not wanting to intrude if she really didn’t want him there. Yet, as he looked at her he couldn’t help but be reminded of how she was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. As a strigoi, he’d forgotten that. And now, he wasn’t sure how he could ever have mistaken Elena for her. “I can go. If you want me to.” *** It was the same for Rose. Everyone kept telling her what she'd done wasn't her fault, that she hadn't been in control, and while some part of her logically knew that, it was still hard to not feel responsible when she could vividly remember every life she'd taken, every horrible thing she'd said and done. On top of that guilt was feeling responsible for Dimitri's actions as well. If she hadn't insisted on keeping him alive - or undead - until he could be restored, so many lives would have been saved, just as those deaths in Las Vegas had been partially on her head. He may have been the one to kill them, but she hadn't stopped him. She carried part of that blame. Then, there was the way she'd treated people who loved her after her own restoration. She could still remember how much Dimitri pushing her away had hurt and yet she'd acted similarly, shutting out all the people who cared about her. That haunted her, too. While many of her friends had been forgiving, she knew she deserved the resentment from Lissa. Looking at Dimitri, she managed a faint smile and shook her head at his words. "I don't want you to go," she admitted. She hadn't been expecting him to show up here, but she wasn't sorry that he had. No matter what troubled emotions he stirred within her, she was almost always glad to see him. -- Dimitri managed a faint smile when she said she didn’t want him to go. A lot of people had updated him after his restoration. Told him what had happened when he’d been restored at home. And, his first instinct had been to try and distance himself from Rose. But, from what he can tell, circumstances were different. Rose wasn’t with anyone else, here. Not like she was at home. There was no sense of honour stopping him from pursuing someone else’s girlfriend. Except, possibly his own future self’s. Which he admitted was going a bit too far. Even for him. Still, he wasn’t sure how ready he was yet. He didn’t deserve to be loved. Especially not by the person he loved most in the entire world. This didn’t stop him from sitting down beside her, pulling her into his arms. Her head against his shoulder. He hated to see her hurting like this. It broke his heart to see her and Lissa separated like this. As long as he’d known them they’d been inseparable. But, now….he planted a kiss on the top of her head. Letting her know wordlessly, that he was there for her. -- Rose didn't feel worthy of his love, either, not right now. It was true that she hadn't pushed him away like she had everyone else, but she hadn't sought him out much, either. For the most part, she'd tried to keep to herself until recently. The trip with Regina had helped. It had given her a little peace, at least for a little while, but now that she was back, she was starting to feel it all again, especially with how messed up everything was with Lissa. It surprised Rose when Dimitri came and sat down on the bed with her. It surprised her even more when he put his arms around her and held her. Rose knew it didn't mean anything other than he was here as a friend, but right now even that meant so much to her. The tears she'd gotten under control for awhile started to fall again as she wrapped her arms around him and just held him, too. It was the first time they'd touched in any way since they'd both been restored and she was never more aware than now how much she'd missed it. And him. Even if things weren't exactly right between them, she took comfort in just having him here. She didn't even feel like she needed to talk. It was enough just being in his arms. -- Inspite of the way they both felt. There was a part deep down inside him, which knew that maybe they needed each other right now. Even if he wasn’t sure in what capacity. All he knew was, that having her in his arms was the most in peace he’d felt since he’d been restored. She was the other half of him. He’d never been sure whether he believed in soul mates. But, there was no doubt in his mind that they belonged together...eventually. Just, now wasn’t the right time for it. Or at least that’s what he was telling himself, as his hands stroked her hair. He pulled back to wipe the tears from her eyes. But, once his eyes met hers. All objections to them being together fled from his mind. And, before he knew it his lips had met hers. And he finally felt like he was home. He was where he was supposed to be. -- Rose wanted to be with Dimitri. She didn't necessarily want to wait, because from her perspective she'd done enough waiting, but she didn't feel like she deserved to get what she wanted after everything she'd done, so she wasn't pushing for it. It wasn't like her, not to fight for what she wanted, but she was still healing, still trying to get back the person she was. A part of her didn't think he could even love her the way she was now. The kiss caught her by complete surprise, but she didn't hesitate in returning it. Rose's arms tightened around him and she pressed herself closer, deepening the embrace. It wasn't the answer to all of her problems, but for the moment she wasn't thinking about her guilt or the problems with Lissa or anything else. The only thing that existed for her was this moment and the two of them. -- All thoughts fled Dimitri’s mind as Rose pressed herself into his body. The only thing that mattered, the only thing that he could think about was the feel of her. The smell of her. The taste of her. She was the center of his universe, and nothing else could intrude on that. He lay back on the bed, pulling her down on the bed with him. All he knew in that second, was that he wanted to lose himself in her. And, maybe. Just maybe, this was exactly what they both needed to find their way, and to start healing. |