|Lissa Dragomir (littlequeen) wrote in wariscoming,|
@ 2015-03-28 09:41:00
|Entry tags:||lissa dragomir|
Trigger: Character Death & Depression
WHO Lissa Dragomir + Open
WHAT Breaking down
WHERE Outside Greaves Apartments
WHEN Afternoon - Sun still out clearly!
RATING/STATUS Triggers: character death, depression + Open or one shot.
There were things that Lissa could accept. She could accept that this wasn’t home, she could accept that nothing ever seemed to go right for her, she could accept people vanishing and coming back at random. Those were things that she could accept. She could accept that Dimitri had been a Strigoi, she could accept that they had saved him, she understood that he’d turned Rose because that’s what Strigoi did, they did things like that.
She accepted that she and Adrian needed to get their strength back to save Rose, she accepted that she knew Rose would rather die than be what she was now. Those were things that Lissa could force herself to handle. She could handle dealing with the pain of knowing that once they got Rose back she’d feel horrible for the lives she took.
Lives that Lissa never thought would include Christian. Christian was not someone that Lissa thought would be found dead with a note attached to his body. Bleed out, more pale than he…. Just gone. It was horrible knowing that Rose was murdering other people, and she'd been selfish to think that her loved ones would be okay, with the wards especially... There was such a level of guilt that surrounded her as she felt that, knowing others didn't have those safeties.
Lissa hadn’t been the one to find his body, but once she heard the commotion and rushed out to see what was going on that morning she saw his face, lifeless… She’d tried to get to him, but someone held her back, she wasn’t even sure who it was, but that hadn't mattered right that moment. She'd tried to fight but had failed.
That had been hours ago. She’d cried at first, she’d screamed at first, she’d hardly been able to stand up or make sense of it in those first moments. She’d wanted to go wherever his body went, but someone had reasoned with her saying that if Rose could get to Lissa she would, and she’d kill her too. Even if it was daytime they needed to be safer rather than risk anything. Or maybe it had to do with her not being able to do anything else anymore for him. She’d wanted to heal him of course but it’d been much too late for that to be a possibility and she wouldn’t have had the strength to do it right now anyways. It would have probably driven her mad, or killed her. Although there was a small part of her that thought being dead wouldn’t be such a bad option. It was fleeting and she knew she needed to save Rose, and she knew they’d have a better shot with both Adrian and Lissa, instead of just one of them.
She’d calmed down, she’d gone quiet, unaware of anything else around her. There had been people, people she cared about, people she trusted, but that had all been a blur to her. The condolences, the questions if she needed anything. That all felt like it had just been a blur of movement as hours passed slowly, painfully. If he’d just vanished she could have handled that, she could have accepted that. People vanished here sometimes and she could handle that kind of pain, this was a different level of pain, a different level of torment.
Her eyes were puffy as she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. She was sitting on the couch of the apartment she’d shared with Christian and his things were still there. His jacket was sitting on the side of the couch, the one she’d asked him why he couldn’t have just hung it up. She saw a pair of his shoes sitting by the door, a pair she’d picked out for him because he’d needed more clothing at some point. There were a thousand little things hanging around the apartment that rang as reminders that he was gone. Murdered by her best friend.
Standing up she slipped on the blue ballet slippers that were resting just below her feet and headed out the door without saying a word. She couldn’t stand sitting in there anymore, she needed air, she really needed air. Her heart raced as she quickly walked towards the spot where his body had been found. She stopped as she saw it, froze in her tracks as her breath stopped cold. It was hard to breath looking at it. Uncontrollable tears starting to cascade down her puffy cheeks, more pale than normal from the sheer pain and she felt.
Dropping to her knees she barely felt the quick pain of her knees scraping the hard ground, even through her jeans. Her hands dropping from where they clutched the blanket to the ground as her body started to try and shake itself undone with as ragged sobs escaped her. The anger, the fear, the confusing… The pain. Her insides were being ripped apart as every forced breath felt as though it were slashing at her soul.
Christian was dead.
Her best friend was his murderer.