InsaneJournal

Funny what could change in a day. Yesterday had been confusing, but good too. He couldn't deny it. He'd been taking Skye to dinner but as it turned out she'd planned something for a birthday he'd completely forgotten about. And there were more people there than he'd ever imagined would care. Hell, even Simmons had shown up with a cake she swore blind wasn't poisoned, Turned out it wasn't. Turned out also that biochemists made good chefs. Probably the measuring.

He'd had a good night, hadn't thought about much beyond the people talking to him. And Skye. She truly was amazing. And while kissing in public seemed to still have been confined to midnight New Years Eve they had said goodnight with a shared moment by the door to her place before he'd headed home. It had been on the way there of course that'd he'd finally decided to check his phone. And everything had changed. Garrett had needed him. Something had happened, something that had worried John enough to show a weakness. Something was terribly wrong and he'd been what...socializing. Letting people in, being weak.

He'd looked for him for hours before finally contacting Steve. But even as he looked, thoughts started to creep in. Had it been a distraction? Was he hurt? Was he dead? Had Skye known? They all knew she was his weakness after all, it wasn't hard to see, he'd gotten sloppy around her, he hadn't cared, she was spending time with him. He'd helped her, they'd kissed. But then again, she was also the only one to know where John had been staying.

The thought felt like a betrayal. Though he knew Skye owed him nothing. And he knew he'd told her where John was willingly. To prove he was loyal to her. To prove she had his heart and always would. But at the same time he owed John Garrett everything. He'd built him up from nothing. And no matter the endgame, without John he'd be nothing. Skye had denied any involvement and Ward had believed her. Because he had to believe her, because she was Skye and there was no alternative but to believe her. She'd even offered to help find him, and that meant a whole lot more than she could ever know. He'd stopped looking just for a few minutes to go pick her up, knowing it was probably a bad plan. If John was hurt he wouldn't want Skye to see him in that state. If he was dead though, if something had gone so terribly wrong Ward knew he'd need her there. He knew he wouldn't be safe without her. Just on his person he had at least 5 things that would cause serious injury. 5 too many if that was the case.

He got to her place suddenly realising it had been cold. Very cold. He was dressed as he normally did for missions, and had rememebred to grab a jacket on the way out but hardly one sutible for January in Kansas. But it hadn't mattered, like he'd told Rogers he'd focused. He'd compartmentalized. He needed to get a grip on all those weaknesses of his and he needed to focus on John. But when Skye opened the door he couldn't help it. Seeing her, knowing she was willing to help him find a man she hated, knowing she believed he was worth something when frankly Ward didn't believe it himself.

He couldn't be without her. And he knew it.  Weakness or not. This woman was his world. But that of course was what had gotten John in trouble.