InsaneJournal

For the last ten years, Peeta has been healing. It took that long, too. He still wasn’t done yet, like a doughy loaf of bread waiting in the oven.

He lived with Katniss in Victor’s Village. They gave her mother Peeta’s old home and he moved into hers. They slept in the same bed, holding each other through the night like they did during the aftermath of the games. Katniss had night terrors and every time, Peeta was there for her. His own dreams-- well, he kept those to himself.

Then one day, he wakes up in a graveyard. They take him to Katniss and the first thing he does when he sees her is laugh-- she’s still so young. “Hey, Katniss.”

Katniss hadn’t moved since she’d opened the door. She stood, one hand still gripping the doorknob, as she stared at the boy - the man - in front of her. Sure, he had elements of the Peeta she knew, like the eyes...but this couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be possible....could it?

But could a mutt laugh?

Licking dry lips, she swallowed hard, then spoke slowly, eyes never leaving his face as she tried to understand just what was happening. “....Peeta?” Her voice came out in a choked whisper, barely there.

Peeta nodded, grin still on his face. “Yeah, it’s me. You look terrified. I know I’m a little older, but I can tell you it’s me. It’s really me.” He stopped and tilted his head, like a confused dog. “You love me. Real or not real?”

She blinked a few times, just staring at him as she still tried to get everything to connect in her mind - and then came the question. She hadn’t yet admitted this, not to anyone - she’d claimed that he had to live because he was better. He was the nice one, the one who cared and who loved - how could someone like her, practically the Capitol’s mutt herself, love anyone?

But before she could bother shaking her head or telling him that was insane, Katniss found herself nodding slowly. “Y….yes,” she said faintly, another whisper.

Peeta grinned wide and rushed over to Katniss, going to wrap his arms around her. “I’m so glad you’re here. And that you love me,” he laughed. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

For an instant, she stiffened when he rushed her, and maybe even more when he hugged her. The instant passed, though, and she slowly relaxed again. She honestly hadn’t been sure she’d ever see him again, and it was more than a rush, having him there now. Finally, Katniss lifted her own arms and slowly slid them around him as well, though it was strange that he felt different in her arms.

“I….I was taken out of the Arena. Haymitch and Heavensbee - and Finnick - they were taking me to 13. Then I woke up here.”

“This place is so weird! You’re so far behind me. Finnick? Is Finnick here? Johanna?” He talked excitedly but kept his arms steady around her. He would never let her go if it was possible.

The longer he held her, the more she relaxed overall, but her arms grew tighter. Closing her eyes tightly, Katniss pressed her face into the spot where his shoulder and neck met, taking comfort in the fact that even though he was so different, he was still Peeta. Her Peeta. “They’re both here. They live in a different apartment...we’d been talking about moving in together, but - now, I don’t know….” It didn’t matter, though, not right now.

“We’ve been-- Panem, Panem has been doing good since you killed Coin. You and I live together where I’m from.” He put one hand on the back of her head and kissed her hair. “I’m so sorry you’re from a harder time. It gets better, Katniss.”

“Since I - who?!” She struggled out from his hold, alarmed by the idea that she had killed yet another person, the rest of his words overshadowed by revulsion at herself. Breaking free, Katniss stumbled back into the apartment and turned away, putting her hands over her ears. “No - I don’t want to hear it. Don’t tell me anymore!”

Peeta smacked his forehead with his palm. “No, no,” when she pulled away, his hands stayed outstretched as if she would come back. “It’s not bad. It’s ... “ Wait. It was bad. There were a lot of bad things. “Okay, I won’t tell you.”

It took a few minutes, mainly because she was afraid he’d start again if she turned back. At last, she took a shaky breath and wrapped her arms around herself, turning slowly, but still staying several feet back from him. Her eyes were haunted and tortured, warring with the joy she felt at him actually being there….if this was even real.

“You’re really here?”

His expression softened, no longer grinning like a fool. “Yes, Katniss. It’s me. I’m here. I’m fine.” He reached down and pulled at his pant leg, showing her his fake leg. “See, it’s me?”

Her eyes slowly fell to the leg and she studied it for a long moment, then finally gave a slow nod. That could be faked - she knew it could be faked - but….well, she’d have Johanna and Finnick help her figure things out. “I see,” she said quietly.

Her reaction discouraged him. “I’m… I’m sorry. I can go, if you want. Anything you want, Katniss.”

“....You can stay here,” she said after a few minutes. “But I’m going to ask the others to come over.” If he was a threat, she couldn’t let him roam the streets.

He was somewhat comforted knowing she never saw him hijacked. Maybe they told her about it? He wasn’t sure. “I’ll stay here. Over here,” he gestured to a chair a few feet away. “I won’t move.”

“Okay.” She hesitated, then pointed at the laptop on the table beside him. “There’s a network on there - it lets you talk to people. Others who are here.” She pulled her phone out and took a few steps back. “Don’t move - just...you can use it. If you want.” And the instant he looked away, she moved into the bedroom and shut the door, locking it and blocking it so he couldn’t enter.

Peeta took a look at the laptop and pulled it closer to him. He heard the door close, lock, and then the clatter of things being moved in front of the door. Damn. She didn’t trust him. He typed a few things and hit “post.”