Molly Hooper is just fine, thank you (ofsternerstuff) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2014-12-19 13:01:00 |
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Entry tags: | molly hooper |
Who: Molly Hooper
What: Coming to grips with losing her best friend and other things
When: Friday morning, before she made her post on the boards
Where: Her apartment
Warnings: None
Status: Narrative; complete
John. Mary & Ava. Now Livvy. Molly was stating to wonder why she even bothered to make friends here in Lawrence when the Seal ended up taking them all away. In less than two months she had lost anyone here she knew from home and her best friend. She knew this happened frequently, she knew logically that not everyone would stay, but dear God it hurt every time the Seal took someone she cared for back. She wasn't sure she'd survive losing anyone else.
She was sad but she was also angry. She hadn't felt this angry in a long time. Possibly ever, when she started to really think about it. There wasn't anything she could do about it, no way she could stop the Seal from taking everyone she cared about here. With Mary and Ava and John it had helped that she knew they would be happy. John and Mary would be in love and the three of them would be a family and things would be good for them. She was comforted in knowing that. But Livvy was going to die. She was going to go back and she'd be dead and it was horribly unfair. She wanted to throw something, hit someone, rage against the heavens. It wasn't fair that she had to go back to that.
Without really thinking about it she picked up a small vase she had bought and threw it against the wall before sinking down to her knees and beginning to cry as the vase shattered upon impact. She'd thrown something and it didn't help. It didn't help at all. But the crying was helping. She wasn't just crying for Livvy. She was crying for everyone she'd lost recently, crying at how bloody unfair it all was, crying because she was terrified she would lose the rest of the people she cared for. After a half hour she'd cried herself out, and so she got up and went to get a dustpan and her broom to clean up. She looked at the shards as she swept them up and realized she felt just as broken as the vase.
When she had finished cleaning it up she went to her sofa and picked up her laptop. She needed to find out if Melissa, Harry and Khan were still here. Especially Khan. The whole reason she had wanted to talk to Livvy today was she'd come to a conclusion about the state of her relationship with him: she was absolutely in love with him. She wasn't sure if he felt the same way, and the thought of telling him and then realizing he didn't terrified her. There were things in their relationship they tended to dance around; not anything bad, but it seemed like there was more to say that they didn't say for one reason or another. And this was something he should absolutely know, regardless of whether he felt the same. She knew that. She just didn't even know how to bring it up with him. And while she cared about Harry and Melissa this wasn't the type of thing that she had talked about with them. So now she had no one to turn to to sort things out.
With a sigh she went to the boards and typed out her message to the people that she prayed were still there. She knew people were busy and she might not hear from them right away, but the sooner she found out she wasn't in Lawrence without them the better she would feel. Until she got responses, though, she needed to distract herself. Watching something on the telly wasn't going to do it, and drinking the pain away had been proven not to work after Mary and Ava had left. After a few more minutes she decided it was in her best interest to bake. If nothing else if she baked too much she could leave plates of baked goods outside doors like the ones that had been left outside her office at the university a while back. So she set her laptop back down and went into the kitchen to take stock of what she had and began deciding what to make. Hopefully this would be enough of a distraction because if it wasn't she wasn't sure what she would do.