Grant Ward is not a true believer (notanazi) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2014-12-11 12:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | grant ward, natasha barton / black widow |
Who: Ward and Romanoff. (Who don't have a cool nickname, Grantasha/Romaward. Idek, Crystal?
What: Ward's coping stratagies suck.
Where: Outside a pub after he's had his drinks with Tamsin
When: Last night
Rating: Warnings for y'know, Ward and violence.
Status: In Progress
So drinks with Tamsin was probably not the best plan he’d ever had but ultimately he had needed to get out. Skye for once had decided not to watch the show with him, apparently kidnapping got her nervous. Who knew? And of course given where he’d taken her he wasn’t sure he could blame her. That said, he didn’t blame her father for any choices he’d made. Same position, he’d have killed Whitehall too. But Skye needed to meet him she needed to know it all and Ward knew, same outcome, same everything. He’d have made the very same call all over again. And he knew on some level she’d resent him for that.
Things could be different though, he loved her. And she knew he loved her. He was pretty sure she didn’t love him but she did have feelings for him. Strong enough ones that it mattered. Strong enough ones to have her in his arms on more than one occasion the last few weeks.
But with John here, he knew everything had changed. He knew what John had done to him. Knew he’d used him, made a weapon against SHIELD. But he couldn’t shake the loyalty. Oh he was right when he said John had lost it, gone insane. But he hadn’t yet. Not the one here. And he still felt that loyalty. Not enough to ever hurt Skye but maybe it just did that by default. And it was funny, he’d built himself up since being here, he had friends, people that actually trusted him, wanted him around. Weaknesses.
On some level he knew it was manipulating, conditioning. But on the other hand he wasn’t wrong. He had always had to fight a weakness in him. He hadn’t been a good enough brother, and then it all got so much worse. He’d wanted to hurt Christian, wanted to destroy him but he hadn’t known how. He’d been weak.
The punch when it came was pathetic. Ward could have killed the guy in exactly three seconds. But he didn’t. He let the swing connect. Eyes glazed over. Weak, always playing the victim, pathetic. He knew it. He understood exactly how true it was. Always wanting to play the hero, He’d never be the hero of the story, he knew that too. Skye was going to be amazing. A beautiful thing, gifted, special. Perfect. He was the opposite of her but he needed her to care. Needed her to feel something.
The idiot swung again and once again connected. At some point he’d stop him. Non lethally and everything, but not just yet. He wasn’t ready yet.