InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "he would kick an ass or two"

Grant Ward is not a true believer (notanazi) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2014-11-21 20:56:00

Entry tags:

grant ward, skye

Who: Skyeward (Because they're actual crack and we're being nice to them before the evil)
Where: Ward's apartment, because of course
What: I....have no idea, they can't leave each other alone
When: Skye's been there about an hour, there was takeout, now there's strrrrong booze
Rating: Who the hell knows with these two
Status: In Progress

He wasn't manipulating her, whatever Simmons said, he wasn't. Skye wanted to be here. Sitting there munching on a leftover prawn cracker, feet curled up under her next to him on the couch as he poured them another shot each of bourbon. Skye was comfortable, just as they'd found themselves so many times back on the bus before it had all gone so downhill. She'd come over because he'd been upset about Damon being taken by the seal. Upset that once again he'd lost someone he'd actually befriended. Skye who had so badly wanted for him to feel things about the people around him, people other than her. It had taken him a long time to try and even begin to break away at the walls he'd built over the years. To actually let anyone in.

And first of course it had been her, but there had been others, and only a few now remained in Lawrence. He wouldn't let the seal take her. Not her. It couldn't. He'd find a way to ensure she stayed with him, But for now, he was actually content to just have her here. Drinking with him, joking with him, telling ridiculously bad jokes with him. He'd never stop caring about her even if she was never in a place where she could return that.

"Hey, top up." he told her, passing the 3 quarter full glass back to her, before resuming flicking through the channels as she'd suggested. He didn't really do TV. "There's actually nothing on on any of the...something like 800 channels here Skye. Lets just go with music." he thought, flicking through the music choices and finally landing on some top 20 Johnny Cash songs thing. It worked.

"You're been here a lot lately, no ones giving you a hard time or anything are they?" he asked, something he probably would not have asked with less alcohol but there it was. He needed to know. "It means a lot that you're here. I just want you to be okay."

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neverfit
2014-11-21 09:32 pm UTC (link)

Skye had definitely given herself a few mental kicks for spending so much time with Ward lately. She was insane. She knew everything he'd done. She knew she shouldn't trust him and, really, she didn't. Some part of him was just waiting for him to screw them all over again. Maybe he wasn't exactly lying to her, but he hadn't shown her she could trust him again, either. Not really.

At the same time, there was something that still pulled her toward him, like some kind of magnetic field and that pull just kept getting stronger. For some reason, his place was the only place she'd wanted to be after the latest episode of their show. After seeing that with her parents, watching everything else, it was Ward she had wanted to comfort her. That was ridiculous and she hated admitting it, but being in his company that night had felt good. Maybe it was just that she didn't want to see those pitying looks Fitz and Simmons would give her. That oh, Skye look that Ward had never really given her. He treated her differently from the others and as much as she loved the team, that wasn't what she'd needed.

When she found out Damon was gone, there was no hesitation in her decision to go to him. Simmons was taking care of Elena and once again Skye found herself wondering - who was going to be there for Ward? Probably no one, given how most of them felt about him and that compassionate part of her couldn't let her go through it alone. And maybe some small part of her had wanted to see him. Either way, she was armed with Chinese and bourbon when she showed up at his apartment an hour later. Did bourbon really go with Chinese? She didn't know, but she figured he'd need a little of both.

As Skye joined him in drinking, she grew more and more relaxed around him. Eventually her shoes had come off, kicked into a corner, and she relaxed back into the cushions of his sofa, sitting far closer than she might have otherwise as she watched him flip through 800 channels of nothing.

"Seriously? Johnny Cash?" she couldn't help teasing him for his musical choices even if she actually kind of liked the song that was playing. "That's what you want to listen to?" Skye's eyes were bright with both intoxication and amusement and she shook her head in mock shame.

Her expression sobered slightly when he questioned her an instant later, though, and a frown pulled at her lips. "I'm fine," she told him without really answering his question. "I can handle myself." She knew the others didn't approve of her spending time over here. She knew they worried about her. But she liked to tell herself she knew what she was doing.

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notanazi
2014-11-21 10:01 pm UTC (link)

Ward was horrified. Skye couldn't hate on the man in black. That just wouldn't do. "Seriously, don't hate Cash. That's enough to shatter my entire world view" he joked. She'd learn to appreciate his genius eventually, or at least if he kept it on repeat enough. "I actually had all his albums as a kid." he admitted. "They just kinda spoke to me." They still did, he wouldn't admit to the amount of times he'd listened to 'Hurt' lately and thought of just how much he'd messed her up. He took a drink of the bourbon before turning toward Skye remembering so many times just like this, when they were joking around, Skye the only one who could make him smile.

"You've got a way to keep me on your side" he sang. "You give me cause for love that I can't hide. For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide. Because you're mine, I walk the line"

It was mostly jokingly. Mostly. But his eyes met hers, just for a moment. And he really, truly and desperately wanted to kiss her. But he knew if that happened. If that ever happened. It couldn't be him that made that move.

He sat back, more than a little awkwardly, taking another, larger gulp of the bourboun hoping it would make everything make sense again. .

"Of course you can handle yourself. You've always been able to do that. I just don't want to be the reason you keep secrets from them. I've had too many of my own."

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neverfit
2014-11-26 02:17 am UTC (link)

Skye couldn't help laughing at his staunch defense of the music he'd picked. And then the laughing turned to a fit of giggles as he basically serenaded her. The giggles trailed off, however, when their gazes locked for just a moment. For an instant, she actually thought he was maybe going to kiss her and the thing was that she wasn't totally sure she would have minded if he had.

Which was crazy. Some part of her knew that and yet there was a part of her that was disappointed when he sat back again.

"What makes you think I'm keeping any secrets from them?" she asked. True, she didn't really volunteer that she was spending time with him, but she didn't go out of her way to hide it, either. She knew the others wouldn't approve. She didn't actually blame them for that. Hell, half the time she didn't even really know what she was doing here with him, but she wasn't exactly keeping secrets.

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notanazi
2014-11-26 09:47 am UTC (link)

God it was awkward. He should have kissed her, that look in her eyes, she wouldn't have pushed him away. He should have just kissed her and had her back. He'd missed that, the trust, the intimacy that he'd only let himself feel for her. But instead he focused on their conversation. She was starting to let her guard down around him. Drinking around him, sitting this close to him. It was like old times.

"Secrets are kind of what I do." he said simply. "You're not lying, not really, you're just hoping they never ask that question. Never ask where you are, never ask when something happens its me you come to."

He couldn't help it, he reached across to her and let his fingers trail through her hair. She was beautiful. In every way. She was the one light he held to when things got bad and she'd come to him when he'd needed her, more than once now.

"You don't want them to ask how you feel about me, because you're not sure what you'd say anymore. Are you?"

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neverfit
2014-12-02 02:31 am UTC (link)

Skye knew Ward was good at secrets. That was a reminder she probably didn't need. Secrets and lies, deceit, he was a pro. He could be playing he now and she wouldn't know it. Some part of her knew it was stupid to trust even, even as much as she was starting to again. Grant Ward was a master bullshitter. She'd learned that lesson once already.

But booze had a way of making everything seem different. Less clear. It made it impossible to focus on the things she should be focused on, like how she definitely shouldn't trust this man. It made the warmth that spread through her as he played with her hair that much more pronounced.

He was wrong. She knew how she felt. She just couldn't admit it. Not to him. Not to her friends. Not even to herself. Even now, with her guard down, she didn't want to answer his question. She didn't want to admit that the closer they got, the faster her heart raced and it wasn't from fear. It was from something else.

"Grant," she whispered, hardly aware that she was leaning in closer to him or that for the first time she'd actually called him by his first name.

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notanazi
2014-12-02 03:08 am UTC (link)

He'd lied most of his life, to his family, to the people at military school, in juvie, in SHIELD. Every part of his life had been lies on top of lies and he'd never been caught out until her. Until she got under his skin, made him care about something other than saving Garrett's life. Became a light in his life, the only real light. She'd been everything to him because how could she not have when there was nothing but darkness before her.

And of course he'd lied to her, and because of that lie everything had fallen apart. She'd hated him, called him a nazi and a sociopath and all points in between. But the truth of it? He couldnt be a sociopath. He loved her. What he felt for her, it was nothing he'd felt before. And he knew why, she was the first woman that had meant something beyond boredom or a mission or release. Skye stood for so much more than that.

And here she was, leaning in closer to him, calling him Grant, which, wow, it had been a while since anyone had bothered to do that.

He had every intention of holding back, letting her make the first move, and maybe a good man would have done so. But he'd told her before he was far from that. He kissed her, before she could decide otherwise, before an attack of concience could stop him, he needed to remember what it was to kiss her. And whatever else happened now, he'd never regret this moment. He wanted to tell her he loved her, that he had for a long time, that they could fix this, that she needed to let him try for her, that she was that light that he needed to step away from the life he had before her.

But for that to happen, he'd need to stop kissing her.

It didn't seem likely any time soon.

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neverfit
2014-12-02 05:05 am UTC (link)

If Skye had any doubts about what she was doing here before, they vanished the moment his lips reached hers. This wasn't like the last time they'd kissed, when she'd had to swallow back her disgust at what he was, what he'd done, and pretend to still be into him while she figured out what he was up to and what the hell she was going to do. This kiss was desire burning through her veins as she pressed closer. It was weeks of trying to deny how she felt finally finding a release. Skye's arms wound around his shoulders as she urged him closer. She could feel the hard lines of his body against hers as their mouths worked together.

Skye had kissed him before. Even before she knew he was a traitor to the team, but this was different. She hadn't spent weeks denying how much she was still attracted to him them. She hadn't spent weeks denying how much she still cared about him, in spite of everything. That was the real force behind all that anger she had been feeling. His actions couldn't have hurt her the way they did if she didn't feel so deeply for him.

Maybe it was the bourbon talking, whispering to her, but something about this felt so right. Skye's heart was hammering against her ribs as she fell deeper and deeper into the kiss. What she couldn't admit to verbally was patently obviously her her lips worked furiously against his. What Syke felt for him was as intense as the embrace they were suddenly locked into.

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notanazi
2014-12-02 06:31 pm UTC (link)

This could work, this would work. As the kiss deepend, Ward knew he could have her back. Rebuild trust with her, oh there was a ways to go, she'd sober up and she wouldn't be sure if this was the right move. But he could convince her that it definitely was. He could prove that he loved her, that he'd never lie to her. He could be the man she had once believed him to be. He could become that for her.

He let the kiss deepen, his hands sliding around her hips and pulling her closer to him. Needing to feel her body pressed against his own. He pulled back slightly, just enough to let her breathe, trailing kisses at her neck before looking up just for a moment.

"Are you sure?" he asked her, returning his attention to her neck. "If you're not, we can stop. I want you to be sure."

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neverfit
2014-12-05 05:36 am UTC (link)

Skye was lost to sensation as his lips trailed down her neck, so much that she almost didn't hear him speak. She only processed the brief interruption of lips being pulled from her skin, which she let out a soft sound of protest at.

The truth was that she wasn't sure, not deep down. There were a million reasons why this was a bad idea, the least of which was that she was intoxicated. It was hard to think of them now, in this position with him, though. In the moment, she craved his touch, his lips like she craved air. She definitely didn't want to stop.

"I'm sure, just kiss me," she breathed.

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notanazi
2014-12-06 01:15 pm UTC (link)

Ward smirked against her neck first at the little noise she made when he stopped and of course when she told him to continue. "Good choice" he whispered, breath hot against her ear just before he returned to kissing her as requested. They kept going for a while, Ward eventually moving his hands from her hips, hoping she'd let him have just a little bit more than a simple kiss when...

...no one had his number that would bother him now, and most of the ones that did weren't here anymore. He wasn't sure Cap would use a text message to get in touch with him, it wasn't just one though. Two, three, four...He quickly reached for his phone and with one glance knew.

John.

Was here.

He didn't know where, which was the immediate threat. Didn't know where he was, what state of mind he was in, what he'd do to Skye if he really had been watching as Ward steadily gave in to the woman John knew to be his greatest weakness.

He needed to distract Skye. ...more so than he was already distracting her obviously. But god, if John had a line on them... "We could...do you want to move this somewhere more comfortable." he said simply. He was on edge, worried what the hell John might do but ultimately he was still very good at compartmentalizing. If he could get her somewhere safe, just long enough to scope around quickly, find where John was, he knew he could too. No one knew the man better than Ward did. No one.

"...if you want I mean." he added, still kissing her, replying to John as calmly as he could outside of any kind of line of vision Skye had from where she was. Kind of a SHIELD skill. He was distracting her with seduction and that had never been the plan. ...she was drunk and yeah she'd kissed him, but was he really asking her for more than that just to keep her safe from his S.O.

"...Think about it.. I'm...I need to, I'll be back okay."

The last text had secured Skye's safety, for now at least, and he'd offered to meet John. Because really, he had no choice.

Now he just needed to think about what happened now. He'd have to tell her. He didn't lie to her, not ever to her, but could he tell her already. What would it mean? She'd hate him. They all would. And he'd have nothing. And why was it now when all he wanted to do was be with her, when this could all have been so perfect.

He moved quickly toward his bedroom needing a moment or two to get the mask back in place, to push the fear down, to push every emotion he didn't want to think about away.

But the specialist had made a mistake. A simple one. But costly.

The phone had slipped from his pocket as he'd stood up. And he hadn't noticed.

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neverfit
2014-12-07 05:44 am UTC (link)

"More comfortable than this couch?" Skye teased. She hadn't noticed yet that anything weird was going on with him. If he was distracting her, it was working, but the alcohol helped with that a lot. Did she want to move what they were doing elsewhere? She didn't really even have much chance to deliberate, because suddenly he was really pulling away and acting really weird. The next thing she new, he was moving away from her, walking into his bedroom with Skye staring after him, puzzled as to what had just happened.

His phone made a soft sound as it collided with the floor and on instinct, Skye picked it up. She might not have even looked at it, but the way he'd walked out of the room had piqued her curiosity and the phone wasn't locked, not yet, not that she couldn't find her way around a lock if it was. With barely a moment's deliberation, she looked at the screen and then the phone was on the floor again and her hand was over her mouth, holding in her gasp of horror.

Garrett. He was here. He was here and he'd been texting Ward. For how long? Maybe she should have taken the phone. Maybe she should have looked again. In that moment, though, all she could think was that she had to get out of there. She had to get away from him.

As quietly as possible, Skye picked up her shoes and slipped out of the apartment. Shoes would be better for mobility, but she didn't want to risk the noise. She didn't want him to hear her until she was gone.

Moving as quickly as she could, she waited until she was a few blocks away from the apartment and then she pulled out her own phone, sending a message to the others.

"Garrett's here.

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