Rose Tyler Will Defend the Earth (plusone) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2014-10-25 10:09:00 |
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Entry tags: | rose tyler, tony dinozzo |
Who: Rose Tyler and Tony DiNozzo
What: Their late night chat on the TARDIS routine
When: Backdated a smidge to when Abby was first taken by the Seal
Where: The TARDIS kitchen
Warnings: Mild language
Status: Thread, complete
If she said everything was fine now, she'd be lying. Oh, things were better. She was as close to normal as she thought she would ever be again. But Rose Tyler still often felt the grip of the fifty years of mental and physical torture. From time to time, she still questioned someone's loyalty, even if only to herself. And the nightmares still came with an intensity that woke her, shaking and sweating and fearing for her life, or at least her sanity.
The most recent had been a familiar one. A recurring dream since the day the Seal had taken Guy. The taunting, the anger, the hate in his eyes. She knew his face would be a common one until the movie was out and dealt with, and she'd find herself dealing with the dreamt sword in her ribs more than once. Carefully, still somewhat unsteady, she climbed out of bed. She pulled a hoodie over her tank top and slippers on her feet and padded down the TARDIS hall to the huge, space aged kitchen. To the familiar sight of Tony at the kitchen table.
"Hi," was all she had to say. He was a welcome sight, really. Though she didn't remember exactly when they'd started meeting this way, she was grateful for it just the same. She poured herself a coffee from the already brewed pot and looked in the refrigerator for the skim milk she always kept there.
Tony was maybe still a bit drunk. Or a lot drunk, he wasn't sure. And Abby being gone still burned through his insides in a way that had nothing to do with all the cheap whisky. Why did it keep taking his team from him? He wasn't for a single moment going to pretend he didn't love the people he'd befriended here. But it was different. He couldn't explain, and he'd never want to try, the trust he had in his team. In Gibbs, in particular. But the seal kept denying it.
He'd woken on the edge of a nightmare, as he so often did. Having Martha curled up against his side helped. Having her come and find him and bring him back to the TARDIS had helped. It felt stupid and wrong and backwards that she kept on being the one to save him, but he didn't care right now. He was slowly starting to learn that it was okay to lean on people. And Martha let him, and it constantly floored him. Still, when he woke like that it always took him too long to fall asleep again, and he hated waking her. Which is why he'd come to the kitchen. Most nights, Rose ended up joining him. The first time had been an accident. This time she'd prompted it though.
Not wanting to wake Martha was only a part of it, too. Because Rose had been there. And they might not talk about it, but they both understood anyway. In a way no one else living here could. His fingers remained wrapped around his mug of coffee as he watched her silently walk from the coffee pot to the fridge. There was something comforting in the familiar actions.
"Hi," he greeted, picking up the mug and taking a sip as she sat. "I might be drunk," he added as an afterthought. He still wasn't sure. It seemed like something he should know.
"I figured you would be," she admitted, glancing over her shoulder at him. When she finally found the milk (the refrigerator was bigger on the inside as well), she finished preparing her own coffee and joined him at the table, pausing to squeeze his shoulder before she sat down. "It's okay. You deserve it. The first few nights are always the hardest."
And if anyone would know, it was her. She had finally quit getting drunk at each tug of the Seal. Her liver thanked her. They came far too often for her to keep tormenting herself that way. "Need anything? Think I may make some toast." It would help settle her stomach more than the mug of coffee ever would.
He didn't say anything, but he appreciated that little gesture immensely. It was small, the simple reminder that she was there, but it was amazing what that meant when he felt so alone. "I shouldn't keep getting my hopes up. They never stay. I think it's cause the seal knows the rest of them could kick its ass if they were here too long." Not him. Sure, he had his talents. But his strength lay in the rest of them, what they could do together. He was the wild card, the one who distracted the enemy until the others had stepped in to save the day. He didn't know how to do it alone.
He tilted his head unconsciously as he considered her offer. "Toast could be good." He drank a bit more of his coffee, gaze on the table somewhere in front of him. "Martha was doing this snuffling thing. It was funny." He didn't know why he said that, why it seemed important. Maybe it was just because it was a normal thing. He craved normal, lately. Needed it in the same way he needed air. Because everything that was normal was a reminder that the cage hadn't been.
Rose took several long drinks from her mug before she got back to her feet and started the process of making toast. Several slices, two for her and two for Tony and that should be plenty for the middle of the night. She did intend to attempt sleep again at some point, even if for just an hour or two. Work and school both required it and yet somehow, it was never easy.
"I'll have to get you to demonstrate the snuffle," she teased, leaning against the counter to face him while the toast browned. The smell of warm bread was already filling the room with comfort. Combined with the coffee's fragrance, she could feel her nerves start to slowly unwind.
It was funny what could be comforting. And what you could start to associate with comforting. For him, the smell of coffee and toast and the sound of Rose’s voice filling the empty silence of the kitchen had become a type of comfort for him. It was in a completely different way to the comfort he found curled up under the blankets with Martha, but it was equally effective, in its own way.
He smiled, just slightly, at her teasing request, hiding it behind his mug as he took a sip. “Sorry. The snuffles are a well guarded secret. Though if you asked nicely I could always convince Jones it would be a good idea for you to join us…” he trailed off with a suggestive and completely over the top eyebrow waggle. His heart wasn’t entirely in it, but it felt normal and far too obvious for him not to do it.
He set his mug down again, thoughts turning sour as quickly as they’d turned to the teasing. Maybe it was that joking and smiling so easily made him think of Abby. Or maybe it was because he’d decided to drink on a foul mood. Maybe it was both.
Rose grinned and rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Let me call the Doctor, we'll make it a great big orgy. Or have Swingers Nights." She placed the toast on two plates and grabbed the butter before making her way to the table.
The shift in his expression wasn't subtle and she kissed the top of his head before joining him. "It's okay to smile, you know. To laugh. You can try and cut yourself off, but it only makes it hurt more. You'll miss her. You'll keep missing the others. But you learn pretty quickly that you still have to live."
“Oh sure, I’ll bet he’d invite his daughter along too,” he returned with a smirk, pulling one of the plates closer to himself and leaving the butter free for her to use first. “It’ll be one big TARDIS love in.”
He did know, but that didn’t make it any easier. “I will. I am. I just need some time to get used to the idea of her being gone again. Abby’s like a sister, you know? If I’d ever had a sister and knew what that was like. She’s just always been there. They all have. Now none of them are. It sucks.” Okay so he was rambling a bit, he’d blame the being drunk thing. But that didn’t make it any less true. And it felt good to say it. “The living thing, well I think I’m doing okay at that. All things considered.” All things being namely what they’d both been through together.
"Ew, too far, DiNozzo. That girl's like a daughter to me!" Even if Jenny looked nearly Rose's age. They did look similar though, and it was easy sometimes to just let herself pretend. Motherhood hadn't been in the cards for her in a long time. Jenny helped to fill that gap.
Hesitating, Rose continued on his last thought. "I get it. I'd love to see my Mum, my little brother. My team from Torchwood." Mickey, though Rose didn't know if Tony knew of Mickey's future and kept her mouth shut on that. That could get awkward. "But I've learned to live without them. To get by. Had to make new teams. And yeah, you've done well. But you can't let setbacks like this stop you. You think of her, you remember. But don't let the memory of her control your life."
"Ease up there, Tiger, I was being sarcastic," he held up his hands in mock surrender. Because yeah, he was a flirt, and Martha wasn't the only hot woman living on the TARDIS, but he was well and truly ruined for anyone else now. He'd become a complete sap where she was concerned. He'd fallen hook, line and sinker. Not that he was going to get into that with Rose. She'd probably be impressed, yeah. But she'd also have a tease.
"Ugh, stop being so sensible and console the drunk guy." It was clear he wasn't completely serious, but he really did get what she was saying. But that didn't mean he wouldn't take a day or two to get over feeling sorry for himself and like the seal was taking its bad mood or whatever out on him. Because right now that was about as far as he could see on the subject. And he just really, really missed his friend. "I think Martha's the only person I've met who could give Abby a run for her money when it comes to smarts." And they'd gotten on so well, too. Tony had liked that.
Rose couldn't help giggling. Not at Tony's troubles, because that would likely make her an awful person. No, she was giggling because even when miserable, he had a great sense of humor. Even the awful things in his life couldn't hold him down entirely. And she was proud. "I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Drunk Guy. The Seal hates you soooo much, why do you even bother? It totally targets you, just you." Never mind how many times she'd lost friends, lovers. She feared getting close to people now but tried anyway because she'd be damned if she was living a life of isolation on the chance that the Seal truly did hate her.
"I'll have you know, I'm secretly a genius. I just thought Martha should have the limelight for brains. I mean, it's hard being this hot and smart, too." Now she was definitely teasing. She was passable. Smarter than she often let on. Smarter than even she sometimes realized. But Rose knew where her strengths were and it wasn't in her brains but in her social nature and business sense. "You know...your team? They'd want you to be happy here. However you can."
“Thank you, Rose. Drunk guy knew you’d understand. Drunk guy is grateful for your empathy. Drunk guy...is going to stop talking about himself in the third person now,” he finished with a slightly bemused smile before reaching for the butter to spread on his toast.
“I believe you on the intelligence thing. We mere mortals can recognise the genius in our superiors.” Just because she wasn’t as smart as Martha didn’t mean she wasn’t smart. And didn’t mean she wasn’t smarter than Tony. Which wasn’t a stretch. Most people were. He knew he had good common sense (most of the time), or street smarts as so many people coined it. But intelligence? Book smarts? Not so much. He set down the knife when he’d finished spreading probably too much butter on his toast, taking the first bite and chewing thoughtfully. The concept of his team wanting him happy was hardly a stretch for him. “I’m trying, Rose. I’m definitely trying.”
"Drunk guy was getting a little weird for a minute there," Rose agreed with a laugh. She took a bite of her own toast and followed it with a long drink of coffee. Sometimes she preferred tea on these late night adventures, but if coffee was already brewed, who was she to argue?
"Don't fool yourself. Not all that smart. Martha can have all the brains. If I did I would have to save people and do science and nope. Too many geniuses in the TARDIS is not a happy thing." Leaning back, she propped her knees against the table's edge in a highly improper way. The gesture made her look more 18 than 28. "I am smart enough to know that you're doing well here. Settled in better than most. And considering...well, everything? You've come further than anyone could have asked." Because some things just didn't get said out loud.
“Drunk guy is awesome. But weird. Admittedly.” He leaned back in his own chair with his coffee, watching her as she spoke. “Different kinds of smart are a good thing,” he agreed. “And the Doctor needs someone like you to balance out his...eccentricities.” What else did you call them?
That didn’t mean though, that he agreed with her about feeling like he was settled. Half the time he still felt like he was floundering. He knew she knew the feeling, too. That feeling that sometimes you needed to scream. But, like he did, he knew Rose was particularly skilled at hiding it. Half the reason they did this so many nights was because they could talk about it, without actually talking about it. “I’ve just been lucky to have Martha. She’s been...I don’t know what I’d have done without her.” He didn’t think he’d have coped.
"You calling my man weird, Tony?" she couldn't help but tease. Yet she knew what he meant. It was why she and the Doctor had hit it off so well all along. He handled the facts, she handled the people. "Besides, you met his Ninth self. Did you meet Eleven? This one's almost normal compared to them." Not that she loved them any less. But she couldn't imagine her Doctor playing in the toy aisle of a Wal-mart.
Her face fell slightly. Though she knew what he meant, it was hard. Things had started to fall apart, but Guy had been a huge part of the reason she'd been able to come back from the darkness after the Cage. He'd been patient with her, more patient than he'd likely ever been. Without him, she might still be lost. And yet it hadn't saved them. Not that she resented Tony for having Martha. Hell, Martha had played a huge part in Rose's recovery, too. It didn't make it hurt less. "She's pretty amazing," Rose admitted. "I don't know how she does all she does sometimes. But she's brilliant."
“Maybe a bit,” he agreed without any hesitation. “But in a fairly awesome way. Kind of in an Abby way.” It was probably the first time he’d said her name tonight without any sadness. Because he was doing what he realised on some level he should be doing, and thinking good things. Fond memories. Because Abby was just like that. Spoke so often in a way that was impossible to understand. Unless you were McGeek maybe.
He winced a bit, watching her. It was kind of easy to tell what she was thinking. And whilst he’d never feel guilty for finding a bit of stability and comfort with Martha, that didn’t mean he wasn’t sorry Rose had lost Mr Brooding and Leathery. “You’re pretty amazing too, you know.” And it wasn’t just said to make her feel better. Tony had nothing but immense respect for her.
"I actually think he and Abby would have hit it off well," she admitted with a smile. "Don't think they got time to talk much, though." Which really was a shame, admittedly. She liked when the Doctor got to know people. It was good for him. Good for them both, really.
Rose's first instinct was to brush off his comment with a flippant or sassy remark. But the truth was, she was grateful for it. She didn't feel so amazing, not anymore. She felt pointless in a world where she used to matter. Like there was no use in trying because everyone was stepping in where she used to be important. So even the tiniest of reassurances was more than appreciated. "Maybe I am," she said with a shrug. "But it's got a lot to do with the people I choose to hang around." With that, she unceremoniously tossed a tiny piece of crust at him.
“Yeah, they probably would have. Abby has this way of just getting on with everybody. She probably could have gotten along with old Lucy if he was still around. Saved us all some time.” Between her and Gibbs the seal would have been screwed. Yeah, this was basically why it didn’t let them stay. It was sort of flattering to them, in a way.
He laughed, throwing his own piece of crust right back at her. “Don’t you shrug at me, Miss Tyler. You’re awesome in spite of the people you hang around with. Not because of them. Though admittedly, I do highlight the epic awesomeness of the people around me.”
Rose simply lifted her eyebrows, a smirk crossing her face. This? This was why she needed those late nights with Tony. Oh, they didn’t happen every night. Sometimes she sat at that table alone, sometimes he did. And sometimes, though rarely, they both managed to sleep through the night without being tortured by their minds. But the nights they did come together, she found a lot more comfort than the ones where she hid her troubles in a coffee mug alone.
“I think it’s because you’re so modest, don’t you?” she asked, trying to sound completely innocent. “And obviously because you’re so good looking. If we’re getting into details and all. Were we both not so happily taken, I’d have every intention of sweeping you off your feet and running away with you.” She giggled, then, not even trying to hide the expression. Though she did take a moment to brush the crumbs out of her hair.
“I do have stupidly high levels of modesty,” he agreed, straight faced. It didn’t last long though, before he was breaking in to a grin around his bite of toast. He shrugged, putting his hands in the air, as though lamenting the fact that they couldn’t do what she was saying. “One day, Rose. One day. But for now, we’ll always have Paris.” Because if there was one thing Tony could be counted on for, it was a movie quote.
She looked so young when she giggled like that. Not at all like the woman who had been through everything she had. He knew better, though. He loved Martha with everything he’d ever thought he had to give, but he loved Rose just as fiercely, in a completely different way. Though he was aware of how strong she was, he felt protective of her in a way he’d only ever felt for Abby and Kate, before.
"Loser. We've never done Paris!" She grinned widely, that by now famous wide smile with the teeth showing and the tip of her tongue peeking out. "We should remedy that. Still trying to get over my Paris hate." Which wasn't the fault of the city itself. But that didn't mean she was quite ready to deal with it.
The subject caused her to look down at her toast in disdain. "You are not a chocolate croissant. Why are you not a chocolate croissant?" Giving Tony big pleading eyes, she tried to hide her smile. "Fix it!"
“We could. We should. We’d have a great time in Paris. It is the city of love, after all.” He gave her his best lecherous smile. But first, he had a date with a hot doctor in Italy. He couldn’t wait to show her all his favourite places.
He looked down at the piece of toast in his own hand, dropping it back to the plate. “It is a bit depressing, isn’t it? That we have to stoop to the level of toast. The Doctor should have a French pastry chef hidden away here somewhere. Once we’re done with our coffee we can go find them.”
At the mention of the city being the city of love, she just turned up her nose. One day she wouldn't be quite so bitter. One day. It was not that day, however, and instead she got up to refill her cup.
"You're drunk in the middle of the night and now you want to go exploring the TARDIS in search of pastry chefs? I do so love you, you very strange man." She didn't sit back down, however, instead choosing to lean against the counter and sip.
“Oh come on, I might be strange but you can not pretend that doesn’t sound like fun. And okay we might not find a pastry chef but I bet we’d find something else great.” If not, he’d eventually find his way back to bed and crawl under the blankets and find Martha. That would be a happy conclusion to the night.
He held out his mug, silently asking for a refill since she was standing. “Anyway, you shouldn’t place your unfair standards on the toast. It’s not its fault it’s not a chocolate croissant.”
Accepting his silent request, Rose reached for the pot, refilling his mug. “”You know, you’ve a point. A good man would keep chocolate croissants stocked around here. Pretty sure the Doctor and I need to have a chat about his shopping habits.” She didn’t mind the toast, though. Bit more comforting, if less decadent, than any sort of chocolate would be. Which would probably lose her the girl card if she admitted it out loud.
“I’ve had some pretty good adventures exploring on here. Found a room or two I probably shouldn’t have, but either the TARDIS is good at keeping my secrets or the Doctor doesn’t mind so much.” Could have been both. Despite their history, though, Rose knew the TARDIS liked her. In spite of her fears immediately after the battle against Lucifer, the TARDIS had accepted her back with that loving, warm glow Rose had missed so desperately. She still guided her with appropriately placed lights and used her steady hum to communicate with her, even if Rose didn’t always understand her meaning. “She won’t get us lost. Not with me around. And, to be honest, I think she’s starting to like you a fair bit, too.”
“Now you’re getting it,” he quipped with a small grin. “A nice selection of baked goods available at all hours. Freshly baked. Not a big ask, really.” Not that he had any objections to coffee and toast. Or tea and toast. It wasn’t about the food, anyway. It was about the company.
“We had a bit of a strained relationship in the beginning, she and I. But I think you’re right. She’s come around. Doesn’t seem to enjoy getting me lost quite so much any more. That was sort of hard to take back then.” For reasons that didn’t need explaining. Just like neither of them needed to talk about why they discussed things as meaningless as late night explorations of the TARDIS. It was just easier that way.
She did get what he was silently saying, even if she didn't remember it. Because while he'd been getting lost in the TARDIS, she hadn't even been willing to leave her room. She'd also been afraid of being burned alive or suffocated or whatever other way the TARDIS would choose to kill her.
But she refused to dwell on that now. She had switched from blaming herself to reminding herself that the TARDIS had helped her in the beginning. She wouldn't have if she hadn't approved of what Rose had done. So instead she took a long pull from her mug and eyed Tony with a grin. "What do you say? Are we exploring tonight or attempting more sleep?"
Twisting his empty mug around on the table, he considered the options. Exploring with Rose, which would be undeniably incredible fun, or climbing back into bed with Martha, which had its own equally appealing benefits. And though it didn’t happen often, he was on occasion able to be relatively sensible.
“Given that we both have things to do tomorrow that require us to be semi human, my vote is going to be for attempting sleep. Though I hate the thought of sending you off to bed all alone…” He gave another suggestive lift of the eyebrows for good measure.
Grabbing a sugar packet from the counter, Rose tossed it at Tony with a laugh. "I'm sure if I get too cold or scared of the dark, I can find a certain Time Lord to cuddle." His sleep schedule was even more odd than hers and Tony's, but she didn't doubt he'd be up for some snuggling if she required it.
"I suppose we should be sensible, logical adults tonight. But just this once." She rinsed her cup in the sink and stretched. "Think I can squeeze another two or three hours without being late. Makes me really wish she could still move in time, though."
“Does he even sleep?” He remembered when Jenny had gone out drinking that night, she’d been typing nonsense and then five minutes later it seemed as though she was perfectly sober. If someone could recover from a bender that quickly, what sleep could they possibly need?
“We’d just be abusing the power for extra sleep, and that’s no fun. Though I will say I don’t think I have to get up quite as early as you.” Though Martha would be getting up early enough, and he never did get back to sleep once she’d left the bed.
"Some," she answered with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "His metabolism is higher so it isn't necessarily a need. But who doesn't enjoy the occasional nap?" Well. Who wasn't consistently taunted with nightmares and didn't crave the occasional nap was more like it. But that was understood.
At his comment about the time she needed to get up versus him, she eyed him carefully. Hesitantly, she pried, "planning on going back to work someday? Or maybe trying something new?" Maybe if Abby had stayed she could have talked him into it. But that would remain a mystery.
“Naps can be fun. Naps with company are even better.” Sometimes they happened completely by accident, too. Exhaustion could do that to a person.
He was going to simply dismiss her question, but this was Rose, and he owed her better than that. “I’ve been working. A bit. Well. Desk work. Not the same thing I know, but…” He trailed off as he thought about how to explain. “I’m working myself back up to it, I guess? There’s nothing else I’ve ever really done. And I don’t really know if there’s anything else I could ever want to do, Rose. It’s who I am. It’s me.” Investigating, being a cop, whatever you wanted to label it. That was what he did.
Her smile was gentle and she stepped over, giving him a sideways hug. For a moment, she just squeezed, resting her chin on the side of his head. "No rush. Really. When you're ready, you'll know. It took a stupid wish for me to be brave enough just to do what you're doing all on your own. That takes a lot of courage."
Releasing him, she stretched her arms up over her head. "But one of us does have an early day. Coming?"