He didn't run. Hiding was entirely unfair given the circumstance, how dare she? He was...
"I won't be compelled, not by them. Not by anyone. Just because they can does not mean I will allow it." He went silent as he listened to her tell him he was weak, weaker than even Lauren because she asked to die. He didn't fear death, did he? He had always craved humanity but here, now when it was so open to him, did he truly fear it. Leo, on their first meeting had said that he did, that all vampires did. He'd laughed it off. And he'd never had to consider it since but here it was.
"I've been cruel. Beyond imagining, you think you know the worst of me, you don't. Not even close. And ridding the world of that risk, making myself mortal. Its the start of amends I should make. I know that. And I want to make it up to you. Of course I do, Alex I love you. And I won't run. I just...how do I do it, what do I say so that I remember you, so that I remember the man I became. I could just wish him away but I wonder would it even work? He's me, isn't he? In enough ways for it to matter."
He picked the orb from the air and stared at it, swirling colours finally settling on a deep blood red.
"I've always been weak. I'm sure He delighted in pointing that out. Lying dying on a battlefield, given a chance to live for what was left of my soul. I took it, because there was nothing in the world I felt any loyalty to. He offered power, freedom from a world that had always been cruel to me. A chance to turn it around...killed him a couple of years later actually."
"I wish I..."
He paused, looking down at the bauble and up at Alex, more fearful than he'd been in years.
"I have to be first don't I? ...Promise me, promise me you'll wish it too. I can't do this without you?"