He hadn't spoken while she'd listed the things she'd endured so that he had not. The things she had saved him from. Dante's Inferno was a tale he knew well of course, and that she had endured it angered him more than he'd expected. He hadn't actually drawn breath the whole time, just listened to it all. Every part of it.Virtue, greed, lust, every circle of hell, everything she'd seen and done, hurting her friends, losing everything she was, seeing her failures in love, fearing Elena's return, and then she spoke of fraud. Well that made a disgusting amount of sense now didn't it. Of course he was the one she'd have seen shatter her happy world time and time again. Rip out her heart, tear her down mentally and physically time and time again. How could she even sit in a room with him now. And the thing that he thought to say, the thing that stood out of all of it.
"You remember word for word even now. What I called you. When you destroyed Elena's blood. You still remember, I wonder how many times I told you that in hell, thousands was it? Do you remember every cruel word I've ever given you? Every hurt I ever caused you visited back time and time again. You didn't see Mikael killing you, or anyone else, you saw me. Telling you you weren't my sister. I suppose its fitting in some ways that you do recall it, because if you want to know the truth of it Bekah, of everything I've been called, every insult hurled my way its your words I remember. I'd rather have my life than yours Nik, no one will ever sit around at table, telling stories of a man who couldn't love. It stayed with me, because yes, I mocked you for your love but I can, I do. And perhaps Kol and you were closer once, as children, maybe even here. But it wasn't him by your side for a thousand years was it? It was me. I pushed everyone away but you were the one who stayed, and yet still when you suffer the worst horrors of Dante, it was me you saw taking your life."
Was this what he'd done to her? With all the paranoia, all the instinctive urge to distrust that came with being him. Had he made himself so heartless in her eyes. It took but a moment for him to cross the distance between them, she didn't look up, she hadn't that whole time, and he needed her to know that she meant more to him than it seemed she knew. He pulled her to his side, stronger than her, than any of them and yet there was no malice in it, no need for control.
He was being more honest with her now than he had believed himself capable of it. "I thought I'd lost you. And I know you believe I'd have left you there, you believe had it been Caroline I'd have acted but I...you endured that for me, to save me, every horror of your existence revisited and more besides and even now you tried to keep it from me. I don't know how to show you that you matter, I don't know if I can promise that I won't hurt you again. I don't always anticipate that I...Dammit, Rebekah you know what I'm trying to tell you. I'm not the brother you go to for affection, for kind words and kind deeds, I'm not the moral one. I know what I am as well as the rest of you do and I embrace that. I always have. But for all that, I was the one you saw end your happiness, time and time again. I'm sorry sister. For that and for..."
Even now he couldn't quite vocalize. Simply holding her for as long as she'd allow.
"For not being what you want me to be. And whatever comes in the future, however I hurt you I need you to think of now, of here, and know that I truly do love you. Always and forever." he said simply, the mocking tone that usually accompanied the pronouncement gone.