InsaneJournal

She wasn't okay.

Oh she played it like she was, of course she did, for Emily, for her friends, she had to be seen to know what she was doing, to be getting on with things like Sam had asked her to do. Hillarious really that he'd asked her to move on when he was the reason she'd come this far in the first place. The demon had thrown herself wholeheartedly into ensuring Crowley kept the throne in hell. Partly yeah because she thought he was the only real choice for the job but mostly because he was her chance to get Sam back. He was the one that could maybe pull it off, him, the angel, some of the more powerful people here, if they worked together, maybe there was a chance she could have the love of her life back. Emily wouldn't have to grow up without a father, without a moral guide and everything would be okay. But for that to happen she would have to do this and do like Crowley said, not fall into it. Not give into the temptation.

But here she was again, somewhere or other in China having cornered yet another of the loyalists. A guy she'd worked with a few times back in the day, useful, resourceful, not willing to be turned. He wasn't going to serve some 'upstart crossroads scum' in place of their father. Ruby had laughed at that, oh their loving father. They'd had no idea. None of them, no idea just how deep it all went and how much Lucifer had hated them all. She usually offered them a chance but him, he'd said his piece and Ruby had produced her knife. In credit to him, he'd looked appropriately worried but he wasn't about to back down. The fight had been bloody and he'd hurt her. Not enough to do any real damage but he'd made her bleed. The blood that had so enthralled Sam, all part of Azazel's plan. All part of the build up to everything she'd thought she wanted.

She took it out on him, oh she was no torture master, she wasn't nearly at Dean or Crowley's level but she knew how to hurt and she enjoyed it, in spite of herself, in spite of Crowley's warnings and what Sam had asked of her in the letter, she let herself give in, just a little, let that voice in her head take sway, just for a few moments as he told her all she had to do was give in and he'd be proud of her again, the voice that would never quite leave her, the part of her that remembered all she'd learned as his student take hold. Ruby took her time with him, which meant she didn't go for the kill right away. Stupid mistake. He actually nearly got the knife from her, they fought there for a few moments, Ruby using every trick she knew. In the end it was holy water that did it. Enough to shake him off and not burn her, the wishes granted during better Christmases in Lawrence had seen to that.

"Traitor" he spat. "Azazel would have been disgusted. Fighting your own, and for what, for Crowley? We always knew you were a cowardly little bitch but this?"

One sharp dig with the knife, one slash across the throat and he was done for.

"I'm not doing this for Crowley. I'm doing this for something you wouldn't understand." she said, as the light that was the last remenants of his twisted and broken soul flickered and burned and finally went out. 

A few seconds later and a battered, bloody, but victorious Ruby was back in the pit. Back at the suprisingly fancy office, shielded from the horrors where she'd left her daughter  safe, protected. She glanced at Crowley before moving across to lift up the beautiful little girl, the hellhounds stepping back, one of only two people they'd do that for. Ruby kissed her daughter on the head and rocked her slowly in still bloodstained arms, a tear finally welling in her eyes.

"I'm not okay. I don't know how to be, and you're right, its way too easy to slip back into it all" she admitted, to Emily, to Crowley. "I need him back, you have to get him back for me Crowley. You have to."