"I don't know." Crowley's jaw clenched a moment, the frustration at himself for not having all the answers showing. He didn't like not being in control, not knowing exactly how to weasel out of any situation. "Hell, until a few years ago, Kol, a lot of demons thought Lucifer was a myth. He was to my kind what God is to most of humanity. Some had faith in his existence, others didn't. I knew he was real, but that was because I used to bang Lilith and she was created by him personally. So that was kind of a giveaway. But he was locked away. By the Seals. The Seal that brought all you lot here is just one of them. Once 66 were broken, Lucifer was freed and the whole lot of us were playing from a new rule book." One that didn't have all the pages in, or so it seemed. Crowley's ex-squeeze had been a loyalist, along with the likes of Azazel, but Crowley had always been more of a pragmatist, never wanting to sign up to anyone but himself.
"Even though you know what I am, doesn't mean you really want front row tickets to what goes on in my head." It was weird, really. There was a whole list of reasons why Crowley didn't want Kol in his head, and none of them were actually to do with loss of control. No, what he wanted was to spare Kol the visions of Hell, to spare himself the idea of Kol being actually repulsed by him if he saw what went on in there.
He had hoped that Kol was going to drop it, not ask that damned question, and Crowley could just brush it all off. As it was, apparently, the vampire was more stubborn than he had realized, and Crowley tensed, shifting his body away slightly. "Nothing unexpected. Crap in store for me if he gets hold of me, punishments for betraying him, fun times on the rack." That part was true, and Crowley had been prepared for it ever since he first made the decision to help with Winchesters against Lucifer. He was no moron, he knew full well that if Lucifer caught him, he would be made to suffer more than any other demon had suffered. It was the other part that had been new. The part Crowley didn't want to talk about, but hey, might as well get it all out, right? "And you." The words came out abruptly, as though he was having to force them out, and Crowley turned to sit on the edge of the bed, facing away from Kol. "Lucifer had you, made me watch you on the rack. But that's not going to happen, so it's fine."