Sam had tried. Honestly, he had. A couple miles down the road and he couldn't do it any farther. The car pulled itself onto the side of the street and he kept there for hours at a time, finally letting himself go in a way that wasn't as restrained as he'd portrayed in front of Ruby. Crying in front of Ruby had been a slip-up. Sobbing in his car, like some kind of heartbroken little kid, was his way of releasing all that he felt when no one was around to judge him. Yeah, he loved her. After everything, Sam couldn't change the way that he felt. There was betrayal and dislike and even a ton of anger mixed in with what he carried inside of him, but he had loved her too much to let those feelings outgrow what was in his heart. That pissed him off even more. It made him want to hunt down more monsters. Kill every son of a bitch out there just so that he could show someone how pissed off he truly was. Instead, Sam just sat in her car uselessly. Unable to go anywhere. He couldn't even get her out of his head.
The roadside only lasted for but so long. It took him a while to realize that he couldn't leave her. That didn't change that he knew that going back would have been foolish. That was why he drove around for a while longer, hoping to force himself to change his mind with time one way or another. Even the attempt at distracting himself with food had gone badly. It was at that point that he just knew. He had to go back to her. Without Ruby, there was nothing but this. Pain. Heartache. Misery. Fuck, he couldn't even eat food without getting sick without her around.
Getting back to the motel room had been fairly simple. Sam didn't know the area at all, but he'd remember the road he'd traveled when he left Ruby with his closed. He had slipped into the room fairly easily, having had the key with him the entire time, and opened the door only to find that the room looked as though a hurricane had blown through it. Things were scattered all over the place, yet Ruby hadn't moved an inch. No, she was still in her trap. And if Sam had any doubts before about her feelings, he wouldn't have had any now. She was still crying. Even with him gone, she was wrecked. That had been no act earlier and one good look at her made Sam realize that easily.
Hating himself for being so weak, Sam pushed the door shut behind himself and locked it. He repeated his former actions, not quite bothering to talk or look at Ruby, but working at making sure that the room was secured. Salt lines down again, curtains double checked for anyone who might have followed him. When all was clear, Sam dropped his bag onto the bed, dug up the food that he'd been incapable of eating, and walked over to the trap. "You need to eat something," Sam muttered, extending the bag out to her. His arm went through the line she couldn't possibly cross if she tried, putting it somewhere that she could reach. Sam looked down at his feet. It was obvious that he wasn't pleased with himself.