Why was he calm? She didn’t like calm. She didn’t know how to be calm about this, she could do it with Dean why not here?. It had to prove her love. It had to do something. Not keep that softness to his voice that very nearly scared her more than anything else had. But what he was saying was right. She was supposed to be different, special. She’d taken his heart and made it hers and now she was tearing it in two. And she hated herself for it. But all the same there were no lies left.
“It is what it is. This, it’s my love. It’s horrible. It’s twisted. But it’s there. You know what I feel for you. You know you’re the only man that I ever --, Fuck Sam, I couldn’t have faked those emotions. I can lie about a lot of things but not to you, not when you can look inside and see what I really am. You said I was warm where the others were cold, remember? Is that wrong now?” Truth was she didn’t know what happened now. Sam was right, he’d trusted her. And now he had to reason with that. He had to reason with the fact that his girlfriend had lied from the day they’d first met. And he had every right to snap, every right to kill her. End her miserable existence and move on.
But to his question she had only one answer.
"I don’t know” she said in almost broken answer before he snapped, there was the fury she’d been expecting, medical things flying all across the room, a dark betrayed fury in his eyes and nothing else. She could see no sign that he loved her anymore. And here he was, telling her to leave the room, walk out of the hospital with him so he could kill her perhaps. It had to happen like this she supposed. He deserved this.
“Okay” she said softly, not questioning it, not fighting him. “Okay, willingly. I'll do what you want, go where you want. But I won't leave you unless you kill me. And you have the right, you have every right. You do what you need to just, be sure. You have to be sure.”
Was he strong enough?. Was he going to drain her and then kill her, loose himself in the attempt. Who knew anymore.