He looked amazing. Sure there was a tiredness to him that simply meant he needed more from her. More blood. And she’d have given it without a moments hesitation, the way he was looking at her right now. More than anything she wanted to put it from her mind, just forget, because he looked at her like that, with that need and that want. He was right at the top, or so he believed and she was about to shatter his world.
After all that was what she had brought upon them and upon the love she claimed to feel. Much as it pained her to say it, Dean was right, you didn’t do that to someone you loved so she was here to admit her sins. She’d have asked for absolution but both she and Sam were far from a position to give it. Her Sammy, She loved him so completely she didn’t understand it and he was here with her now. He’d killed again tonight, taken the life of a demon that would never return. He was so proud of himself and so wonderful in so many ways. But it wasn’t what she’d dreamed. He wasn’t himself, she didn’t know how to explain it. But she was worried it’d change him forever if she lead him down the path and that was never what she’d planned. No from the moment she’d fallen in love with him she’d imagined them together, ruling over hell. In Azazel’s place under Lucifer’s reign. And she’d believed, she’d honestly believed he’d be alright with that. And it was very possible he would have been. But it wouldn’t have been Sam. It wouldn’t have been anything like Sam. Maybe it would be the monster he always feared becoming
“Sam” she said softly, taking his hand, and gazing up at him as best she could from where she was, “Baby just, come with me okay. Just for a little while. Dean’s safe, he’s fine. He’s sleeping. I kept an eye for you. I figured you’d want that”. She looked down the hall, beckoning him because he couldn’t see Dean, not yet. There was an empty room not far from Dean’s and she needed him to join her there. Ruby was practically draping herself off him, knowing this would be the last time he’d look at her like this, believing her good and well intentioned. The last time he’d have that complete trust she’d fostered in him. But that trust was built on a lie. It was all built on a lie, and she’d already brought it crashing down by telling Dean. Now all she had was honesty. Kira had told her to do this a long time ago and it hadn’t been until tonight she’d felt like she’d had no other option. If she loved Sam Winchester, and she did, then he had to know.
“I know what it is you want, and you can have it, but we need to talk, its just, first I need to hear you say that you love me, always, like you said, that there was nothing that could ever change how you feel even if you wanted to. Just kiss me and then tell me that. Don’t ask why, just do this for me, okay?”