Rose Tyler Will Defend the Earth (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} plusone) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} wariscoming, |
"It was in part to spite you," she admitted, her voice only slightly above a whisper. Because god, what a ridiculous notion that was. "I don't like being told what to do. You know that. And I was already angry with you and there you were, telling Bo, not me, what I would and wouldn't do, and... I don't know. It was stupid. I know it. But that doesn't change that it happened."
Sighing, she ran her hands over her crossed arms, fighting off a chill that she knew wasn't from the air in the room. He was right. If anything had happened to Harry... She was already fighting guilt, knowing that he was bruised and battered and hoping House didn't find anything more serious internally wrong with him. The vision, the dream, it had been meant for her. Bo had seen her getting hurt, maybe even killed. If she hadn't been there at all, it might have been an entirely other hunt. "I knew what I was doing. Her warning was just that. A warning. I thought since I knew to expect danger..."
Her voice trailed off and she eyed him for a moment, taking in his posture, his facial features. In some ways, she was a mystery to him, she knew. From an entirely different time, where her smart mouth and strong attitude were socially accepted. And she knew, despite the annoying flicker of jealousy that often ran through her, that she wasn't all that different from Marian that way. Only here, he had to accept that because it was normal, women were more equal. And though she knew he loved her, she didn't know if it was enough.
Especially when he'd all but said he'd end it if things didn't change.
She bit her lip, turning away from him and walking towards the window. Peering out, she took in Lawrence as a whole, trying to see it as 'normal' people did. A regular city where the worst thing she'd find on the next corner was a mugger. Not a demon. A rapist instead of a wendigo. Where kids were brutal and jerks but didn't turn out to be Acheri. "I was a brat when I was a child," she began, then gave a little laugh. "I know, it must be so hard to picture. But I was a shallow girl, the sort that judged the other girls and cliqued up with my friends so no one could get to me. I didn't see the world as needing to be helped, I saw the world needing to help me to get higher. I met this guy...he changed everything. Ruined my life, landed me in debt, and slept with more women than I could even count, all while with me."
And she'd barely been eighteen. Which was less than a decade prior but god, it felt like forever ago. "When I was nineteen, that all changed. The Doctor taught me so much about the universe, but also about myself. About how I didn't need to sit back and let things happen, I could make them happen. If I saw wrongs being done, I could right them. And I do. Every day, that's what I do. It's why I opened my centre, it's why I help the Seal's new arrivals. And it's why I've learned to hunt so well that even Bobby Singer respects me and doesn't insult me most of the time. I'm good at it, Guy." Finally, she turned to look at him again, her heart tugging just seeing that face that she'd certainly never meant to fall for. "Really good. And I can't just sit back and let others fight in my place because you're scared to lose me. Or because I'm scared."
Because she had been. For whatever his thoughts were on the subject, she wasn't completely fearless. She simply knew what needed to be done and was willing for the cost to be her own life if that's what it took.