|Amy Pond changed the future, it's called marriage (thegirlwhochose) wrote in wariscoming,|
@ 2013-08-30 11:01:00
|Entry tags:||amy pond|
Who: Amy Pond
What: Dealing with the Seal being a jerk since avoidance tactics failed
When: 30 August 2013
It wasn't a new discovery. No. Amy had known when she had woken up that morning days before that something was wrong. She couldn't place it at first, not in the fog of waking up that one goes through initially. But looking around the room she'd shared with Rory, it was starting to click. His things... or some of them, they weren't there. The ones from Lawrence, not the ones that had already existed within the TARDIS. But the connection didn't click. Not right away. Because it was just so implausible. Yes, on the one level, Amy knew that the Seal could take someone just as quickly as they showed up. Look at River. Look at her. She who had been there twice before with no recollection. But Rory? No. Taking Rory was going too far. So it hadn't.
She'd gone about her normal routine, acting as though everything were normal. Rory had just gone to work early. She'd go and pester him and whomever was working that day. It had been simple. Except Rory hadn't been there. She hadn't asked, she had just left before anything could be said from anyone. Questions on where was Rory. Condolences because those in the medbay knew more how the Seal worked, had been there long enough. The nagging feeling, the empty feeling that she had felt when he'd been wiped from existence but she could still feel his absence even when she didn't remember, it was getting more prominent. She couldn't ignore it.
Of course you are, don't be stupid. In the whole time I've known you, when have you shown the slightest interest in a girl? I mean I've known you for what, ten years? I've seen you practically every day. Name one girl you've paid the slightest bit of attention to. Oh my god. Rory.
It had seemed so impossible. She had known Rory for so long and it had always been Rory. Gorgeous, best mate and guy Rory. Even then, on some level, Amy knew it was Rory even if she didn't know for certain. Even if the belief he'd leave like her parents was there. The need to be stand offish. The need to not let someone too close. To need someone that much. But that changed. Because it always changed.
This could be the real world
It can't. Rory isn't here. I didn't know. I honestly didn't until right now. I just want him
The first time the universe tried to tell Amy she couldn't have Rory. When he'd been killed in the dream world and she was willing to die to end the dream. Because it had been her only shot at seeing him again. At telling him what she'd never realized until that moment, convinced it was just convenience. But she had won.
That light. If his body's absorbed I'll forget him. He'll never have existed. You can't let that happen. What are you doing? Doctor, no! No no! Doctor, we can't just leave him!
Tell me it's okay. Make it okay!
The start. The start of the hollow feeling. The sadness she didn't understand because she hadn't remembered. Just that something was missing. She tried to ignore it, but how do you ignore a part of your heart missing? She just didn't understand. Not until the Pandorica. Not until the Romans and River. Her childhood fantasies, her love of the Roman empire. She had dreamed of Rory without even knowing. Because the universe couldn't keep Rory from her. Not forever.
Williams. Rory Williams from Leadworth. My boyfriend. How can I forget you?
When she had realized, she'd been determined to fix it. She'd yelled at the Doctor, demanded he make it right. That they find a way to bring Rory back. It isn't possible. But possible never stopped Amelia Jessica Pond when she put her mind to something. And that something was saving her husband. Bringing him back. It was selfish, sure. Who wanted their loved ones in the apocalypse. But no world was real if Rory wasn't there. She had been determined, desperate. Hysterical. They would find a way to bring him back. But they hadn't. They couldn't. Because who could fight the Seal? Amy. That's who.
You only call me Amelia when you're worried
She knew it was there. The worry. Both the Doctor and River knew the lengths Amy would go to for her husband. They'd seen it. Because it had been the only option that she'd see him again. That she'd be okay. Because she'd be with Rory, just like she was supposed to be, only this time, she wasn't.
He could come back. People come through the Seal all the time
They were the words people said when someone was upset about the Seal taking someone. It was why she hadn't even said anything on the boards. What was the point? People would say nothing or the same thing. She'd gone to the library. To the pool. Wandered the TARDIS. Wandered Lawrence. But it wasn't right. She had always believed in Rory. In him coming back. But this was so uncertain and Amy didn't like uncertain, not when it came to Rory.
There's a man who's never going to let us down. And not even an army can get in the way. He's the last of his kind. He looks young but he's lived for hundreds and hundreds of years. And wherever they take you, Melody, however scared you are, I promise you, you will never be alone. Because this man is your father. He has a name, but the people of our world know him better... as the last Centurion.
Rory always came through. He always came back. But he hadn't. Not this time. Give it time and wasn't that something she knew? Time? Time travel? She was Amelia Pond, strong in the face of adversary. Or just Scottish. Very Scottish. Angry at the world, especially now. Because the world took Rory and wasn't giving him back. Dying? He came back from dying. Always. And more than that? He came back for her.
No. Rory wouldn't. Not ever. Something must have stopped him.
You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick? Then there's other people, when you meet them you think, "Not bad. They're okay." And then you get to know them and... and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful. Rory's the most beautiful man I've ever met. Please. Do it for him.
Ah, you. You're asking me to defy destiny, causality, the nexus of time itself, for a boy.
You're Amy. He's Rory. And oh yes, I am.
I'm gonna pull time apart for you
If future her had done it then, why couldn't she now? It didn't make sense. And it made all the sense. Either way, Amy didn't like it and by the time she had decided to check the boards, she'd been too late to sign up for camp. To sign up for a way to distract herself from losing Rory. From not being able to bring him back, to reunite with him. Because no matter how many worlds or alternate worlds they were in, Rory was there and he and her went together. Fit together. Perhaps that was why she never understood the first her who was here. Who gave it all up for some pretty mutant. What about Rory? Losing him?
You could move on with your life. But some things were irreplaceable. Rory was irreplaceable.
Don't you dare say that to me.... I didn't kick you out. I gave you up. So don't you dare talk to me about waiting outside a box because that is nothing, Rory, nothing! Compared to giving you up.
She gave him up. Because he'd wanted what she couldn't give and she thought that he'd be happier eventually. She knew how much he loved her. Knew what he had done. But never did she take him for granted, not after that. Not after everything they'd been through. How could she hold him back from the life he'd wanted since they were kids? But Rory... sweet, idiotic and loyal Rory was still there. And she thought they'd have forever. Forever to have a life, not that they planned, but a life. And now?
I won't let them take him. That's what we've got.
For you, I could do anything.
Prove it. You said we'd come back. Money-where-your-mouth-is. Time. Together or not at all.
Amy, what are you doing?!
Changing the future. It's called marriage.
Together or not at all. But they weren't together now. Because the Seal decided otherwise. Because the Seal in all it's infinite madness took Rory from Amy and she didn't have a way to bring him back. She didn't have a way to go to him.
I'll be with him like I should be. Me and Rory. I'll be fine. I'll be with him.
She had stared down her greatest fear to join with her husband again. To go where she couldn't get out of. And she'd ended up in Lawrence and Rory was there and the Doctor and then River had shown up and it had been good. So very good. It had been right and now? Now a week had passed and Rory still wasn't here. Rory had been taken from her and there was no magic way to fix it. No paradoxes to create. No angels to send her to him. There had been nothing.
Amelia Pond without Rory Williams. It was a paradox of it's own and not one that would bring him back. She knew she could get on without him. She knew she would have to. But her heart was now broken because Rory in all his mannerisms wasn't there. And that hurt. She had gone through the first three stages of grief. The denial. The anger. The bargaining. She had tried it all, dragged her daughter, her son-in-law into her madness. Her desperation and trying to find a way to fix it but it hadn't worked. But she wouldn't cry. She couldn't. All she could do was sit on the chair Rory always sat in as if it would give her some form of comfort.
Whenever the universe tried to tell Amy she couldn't have Rory, she fought back. And won. Until now and she wasn't sure how to handle that right now.