Gigi Darcy (foolishbeauty) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2013-08-13 09:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | gigi darcy, william darcy |
Who: Gigi and William Darcy
What: Honoring their parents’ memory by watching a meteor shower
When: 13 August 2013, night
Where: Isolated field away from city lights
Status: Log --> Thread | Incomplete
Regardless of how many years it had been, August was generally and somber month for the Darcys. William had done all he could to provide for her and Gigi knew that, was thankful for it. No matter how often she teased him, or told him to lighten up, she was beyond grateful her brother was here. Especially now. Because if she had been alone on the 13th of August, Gigi didn’t really know what she would do. It wasn’t that she needed people around all the time, and she did tend to bury herself in work just like her brother when upset, but this was a different reason. This was the anniversary of when their parents had died eight years previous.
It also happened to be the last night of a meteorite shower. The timing was ideal, surprising, but it definitely worked. It gave them something to do in honor of their parents when they didn’t have a grave to visit, or the small restaurant they would go to as a family to eat at in memory. It was something they could do for themselves, to hold onto their pasts regardless of the fact that this wasn’t their home. It was becoming a home, but it was San Francisco.
Despite the fact that William did most of the cooking, Gigi wasn’t incapable of doing it, and often split up the duties even as her brother teased her. Or infuriated her by reading into things that didn’t need to be. Or completely overreacted to a mistake, leaving Gigi feeling guilty and wanting to fix them. But he had work, so she had made a picnic dinner for them. Familiar foods from home, reminiscent of their parents along with their favorite wine. She actually hadn’t told William what she was planning for the dinner, just that she had it covered.
For as flighty as Gigi might appear, she did remember things, observe them. She simply preferred to be optimistic in the face of the bad so that she could pull herself out of it. Doing one more check of what she had packed, the twenty two year old headed to Stark Industries to wait for William to get off of work so they could go and find a good viewing point of the meteorite shower, where city lights couldn’t obstruct the view.
If there was one thing that William couldn’t truly take, it was that second week in August. He was always filled with an inexplicable feeling of dread that he could never truly shake, even after eight years. The first year had been horrible. On top of feeling like a failure of a student, Catherine had still tried to push him out of becoming Gigi’s guardian in order to finish his studies, and that was unacceptable. William had taken on much more than he was truly capable of chewing that first year, between working part time at Pemberley and rescheduling all his classes into the mornings, going to meetings scheduled so that they would reach their conclusion before his younger sister would be done her swimming practice and turning off his phone to concentrate on his homework and Gigi’s activities during the weekend.
To say that he had stretched himself a bit thin would be an understatement.
But now, eight years later, and at almost thirty years old, William Darcy would say that he managed to keep it together a lot better than he once had. He still didn’t talk about it, not with Bing or Fitz and especially anyone else in this godforsaken place, but he tried to talk with Gigi about how he felt, especially when it seemed like it was all falling apart. Because as much as he tried to fill a position of a brother, father, mother and friend, at the end of the day, he was only William; the oldest child to William and Anne Darcy, who had had a lifetime of responsibility shoved upon his shoulders before he was ever prepared for it. And as much as he tried to prepare himself for virtually every circumstance along the years, sometimes he still felt as if he was drowning.
He could have requested off for the day in particular, but he also knew that he would end up wallowing and feeling sorry for Gigi as he usually did; the girl who had lost far too much at far too young of an age. So instead he threw himself into work, letting his sister plan whatever she deemed fitting for paying homage to their long-gone parents as he settled in for the day. Though it passed quickly, he wasn’t extremely productive, and as usual on this particular day, William wasn’t exactly inclined to care. He punched out at exactly five that afternoon, and had just dashed out the doors to find Gigi waiting there.
Approaching her, he gave her a light squeeze and a kiss on top of her head. “Where are we headed tonight?” He was genuinely curious. She had mentioned something about a meteor shower a few weeks back, and he wondered vaguely if there could have been anything more fitting. He doubted it. “The car’s this way,” he said, guiding her to the parking lot.
No matter how much William tried to hide the strain it put on him, especially that first year, Gigi knew. And it was this day that she felt the worst in terms of how she had treated her brother following everything with George. She knew that they were siblings and siblings fought. She knew that parents and their children fought. But that didn’t make it any easier to deal with when it happened. It didn’t make her feel guilty after everything her brother had done for her to ensure she had the chance to grow up happy and not stressed. She still got fed up, and she still had fought with him here, but tonight wasn’t going to be like that. And tonight wouldn’t be like the massive blow up from last week. The one she was still trying to make up for.
Smiling faintly, Gigi followed after her brother to his car. How he had managed to procure one so quickly was, well, very much William Darcy.
“Away from the city so that the lights don’t obstruct our view.”
Because she wasn’t going to let go of the meteorite shower. It was perfect when they didn’t have anything from home to do that they were used to. She would put the actual location in the GPS once to the car.
“I also packed us a picnic...”
Beyond that, the night was pretty much open. Watch the skies, have their wine and picnic, talk, reminisce, whatever came up. She would have asked how William’s day was, but it was always the same. He went to work, did his job, threw himself into it even if he wasn’t completely focused on it, then they did their annual dinner and honoring of their memory in a more personalized way as opposed to living their lives and doing what they could to make their parents proud even now. Even if Gigi thought William sacrificed way too much and didn’t live is life as he should. But he seemed to be better about it here at the very least. Or had been. If she had managed to ruin things between William and Lizzie just because she had forgotten to say she was going out, well, she would find a way to fix that as well.
There was the slight chance that William had overreacted to Gigi’s day out with Lizzie. He simply had panicked and was unable to think rationally. If it had been any other time, he thought he might have been able to recover. Gigi, after all, did have plenty of friends. But this place wasn’t even close to home. This place was an Apocalyptic wasteland that happened to have dozens of demons and countless other horrifying things floating around. When combined with a trailer he hadn’t meant to see of a new series the actress who played his sister was in and a missing Georgiana when he had woke up that first Saturday in August, William had simply lost it. He couldn’t lose anymore of his family. Not now, not here. He had had that happen far too often at home for his comfort.
So though he was still unsure of where he stood with Lizzie, which was, admittedly, disappointing as they had been getting along rather well before that, William was grateful for Gigi. He didn’t care about much else than keeping his sister secure and safe, and though he still had a twinge of annoyance at the whole situation, he didn’t dwell on it. This night was not about him. This night was about the parents that they had lost. It physically hurt him to think about the fact that soon enough, Gigi would have lived more than half of her life without their parents. He tried to make them proud each day, but it was hard to measure up to people that had their lives together than viciously torn away from under them.
“That sounds perfect,” he agreed, opening his sister’s door for her before coming around to the other side of the car to get in. William sighed as he stretched his legs out, twisting around to spot something in the back seat. “I’ve got a blanket back there. Do you have any idea where you’d like to head?” There were plenty of open plots of land with little to no trees and a clear view. “I do not mind a long drive if you would like to do that either.” As usual, he was going to wait for Gigi to give the first catches of conversation regarding their parents. William wasn’t very good at it, even years later. “Thank you for making dinner.”
Like with any mistake she did that deeply upset William, it took a toll on Gigi, though she threw herself into trying to fix things. Once she had calmed down. Because this wasn’t her dealing with the repercussions of George and that heart break. Lashing out, pulling back in, seeking silent comfort. It was just... her having been out for coffee, hearing from Lizzie and not thinking to tell William because it was just two friends doing something to try and distract from the worry they felt on someone they cared about going on a hunt. Then again, Gigi wasn’t always known for her thinking ahead or saying what was on her mind.
Still, things had calmed down as the week went on, and just like William felt, this was a day for their parents, not their own concerns which they had already been working through. Or.. Gigi throwing everything she could into to at least get her brother to stop being a recluse. So once in the car and the question asked, the brunette gave a small nod.
“Thanks. Let me pull it up on my phone and plug it into the GPS.”
At least her idea of the picnic seemed to be a good one. She had been worried since they were so far out of their element this year. New city, new universe. No fall backs beyond each other, with a massive blow up the week previous. Destination put in, Gigi placed the picnic basket behind her seat and folded her hair behind her ear.
Where she was usually always able to come up with something to talk about, their parents would always be a hard topic. Especially with everything that had happened in that time. Everything that had happened with the Bennet sisters, how they had entered their lives. How George had followed, brought up an agreement... Lawrence.
So for now, it was silence, thinking, regretting, reminiscing. It wasn’t too far out the location she had found, but it also was away from most people. Because there were a lot more open areas in Lawrence then there was in either Los Angeles or San Francisco.
William waited in silence for Gigi to input the address to the GPS, quietly watching his sister when he thought that she was not looking. He knew reflexively that in itself was a lost cause, as Gigi had always been very in tune to his own emotions, even when he stomped them far back into the recesses of his mind. He could feel the worry coming off of her in waves, along with the still-lingering anger and frustration at him. William didn’t blame her for it; he could understand the emotions very well, but for a person who had lived his life with expectations hanging overhead consistently, he couldn’t imagine showing them off for the world to see.
With a sigh, he started the car and backed out, heading north on the interstate. The drive would take them just about an hour, but if Gigi wanted to sit and quietly reflect on their parents, he would let her. He had some thinking of his own to do, after all.
Oftentimes, William could almost hear his mother clucking in his ear, telling him to take it easy and enjoy life as it came to pass. When she was alive, Anne Darcy had told him quite frequently that her oldest child was born a middle-aged man that had only gotten older with time, and while his father would laugh along with her, William could see the worry in the lines of his parents’ brows. He knew that he took his life to an extreme. He was closed off and cold in many regards, even before their passing and for the life of him, he still couldn’t figure out why. It was an endless cycle of question and lack of answer that both infuriated him and filled him with an almost crushing amount of grief. Because if he couldn’t open up to his own parents while they had still been on this earth, who was to say he could ever let anyone else in?
Because William Darcy, brother and confidante and parental figure for as long as he could remember; who came across as cool and collected and professional, was terrified. And that terror was unyielding. He could feel his eyebrows knitted together as he followed the directions, and he let out an almost gasp suddenly. Though he wasn’t sure when it had happened, the slight wetness on his cheeks was unmistakable. He had started crying silently. “Sorry,” William muttered instantly, wiping at his eyes. Almost ten years later and now he decided to cry? What was wrong with him?
Gigi would always worry about her brother. She knew that their parents always joked about how serious he was, and she knew, even though she’d been barely fourteen when they’d died, that they wanted him to live his life more. Where he was always so rigid and in control, Gigi had been the one to go with the flow, to dance in the rain and make friends. To try and get him to live his life, even a little. Yes. She meddled. And maybe a lot and he didn’t think it was necessary (when it totally was) but wouldn’t that be what their parents wanted?
The silence wasn’t really awkward. Not as it had been after her idiot ball moment of forgetting and avoiding. And she was thankful that Josh had understood. That he hadn’t been mad at her as well. Because fighting with William was hard enough without all of her friends seeming to be mad at her at the same time for a mistake that wasn’t exactly uncommon. Unless they were William and used to perfection.
Just like William could read her emotions, she could read his. It came from their closeness, even from before the death of their parents. It came from William raising her and making her keep calendars. It came from so much. But William crying? That... that was something new and it scared her. A lot. Not so much that they were still driving (even if she was pretty certain there were statistics about crying and driving and accidents) but just because it was so... not William. Gigi was the one who felt her emotions, who showed them. Not William.
“So am I.”
Which.. wasn’t exactly new. She’d been repeating it since everything happened. And she was always honest in it. Because innocent mistake or not, it still had led to fear and pain. And as much as she just wanted to hug her brother, all she could do was squeeze his arm. Because driving. Driving sort of made hugging hard to do.