InsaneJournal

Funny, she hadn’t expected an afterlife like Buffy had gotten. Being all former vengeance gal and all Anya had expected something a little more...demony. Maybe D’Hoffryn looking smug and superior. Maybe choirs of fat men in dipers if she got lucky enough for heaven. She could mock them. Maybe some disturbed hell full of bunnies. It could have been anything really. She didn’t expect a sign saying ‘Welcome to Lawrence, Kansas’. What was welcome about that! Why was the afterlife Kansas? Puzzled, she did what she knew would have been expected of any Scoobie in this situation. Even if it was Kansas not Oz her mind switched to backward Wizard shenanigans. She’d been spending too much time with those people. Nonetheless the former vengeance demon clicked her heels together three times and repeated ‘I wish I was home’ with each click, scrunching up her eyes as she did and waiting for something to happen. Annnytime now. Anytime at all.

Nothing. Glinda was a crock. But she supposed her shoes weren’t red and sparkly which she believed was integral to the whole wish. What kind of wish was that even to offer? Glinda clearly didn’t know what she was doing. Anya would have turned Dorothy into the home she so wanted to be. If she’d gone in for that kind of vengeance. She was sure there was a vengeance demon of squished sisters, the West Witch should have done it. Dropping a house on ones sister was just rude. Not that Anya had had sisters back when she was Aud. She’d have done it if someone had dropped a house on Buffy.

...Maybe. She might have thought about it.

This wasn’t helping at all. It was irrational and silly thinking about witches and poorly designed wishes and flying houses. And it was a ridiculous afterlife. “I died heroically for this!” she exclaimed irritated as she started to walk. Checking her pockets as she went didn’t help, in fact it only managed to make her sad. She was moneyless. And that wouldn’t do at all. Still it proved to Anya that clearly she’d gone to hell and hell was Kansas. Had to be. Heaven would never have left her without money.

“Hello” she called “Glinda? Green one?” If she found the pink bubblegum witch called Glinda, they were going to have a long talk about wishes and their practical application in the world. And then Anya might pull her hair. And kick her and steal her wand. It was a distinct possibility. If not Glinda then she wanted to talk to whoever had brought her here. Troubling would be if they didn’t have hair, but she’d find something else to pull. And nothing they’d enjoy.