|Emma Swan finally found her fairytale (lostfairytale) wrote in wariscoming,|
@ 2013-07-17 11:33:00
|Entry tags:||belle french, emma swan|
Who: Emma Swan and Open to Casa de Storybrooke but otherwise narrative
When: Early morning. July 17th. Yeah.
What: It's been a year since her life changed forever. Emma's caught herself doing some reflecting
Warnings: Jim Moriarty should be a warning in and of himself
Also, thanks to Briege, for I have kidnapped Jim's words
Wednesday started like any other day. To be honest, Emma hadn't really thought about the date much. She knew it was coming. Her little girl's age was proof enough of that. But she'd been busy. Getting Henry to and from camp, worrying over Neal being around, trying to be a good friend, daughter, and girlfriend, and of course, being a mommy. Aislinn was teething and starting to get more confident in her crawling and taking care of her was a full time job in itself. And yes, she had more help than she could have even imagined having when she'd first found out she was pregnant, but she still stayed constantly on the go.
She woke early, careful not to wake Graham who had at least another hour he could sleep before getting up for work. She peeked her head into Henry's room before making her way to the nursery and scooping up her fussy baby. The little girl was running a low grade fever, as she had off and on since those first teeth had started to come in. Already she could see the tips of them peeking through little pink gums and while Emma was ecstatic, she'd be grateful when her daughter wasn't in so much pain.
And so they settled into their daily routine. Changing the baby and then feeding her and dressing her in a soft pink onesie. Making their way through the huge house and down into the living area. Everyone else in the house had settled quite brilliantly into life with a baby and so her toys and her playmat were easily accessible. Emma settled Aislinn on the floor on the squishy, multi-colored rug and sat plenty of toys within her reach. Then she sat on the floor by her side and turned on the television, letting the news run while she waited for the rest of the house to start stirring.
She was stacking brightly colored rings in place when it hit her. "Good morning!" the news anchor announced, her voice far too chipper for barely 6am. "Today is Wednesday, July 17th, and you're watching..."
If you love me. If you want us to work, to go on from here. If you want the world like I promised then you don’t ask questions.
Did it really matter what station they were watching? The words hit her like a ton of bricks. Of course. How could she have let it slip her mind? Probably because she'd fought like hell to move on. She'd had no choice. Her little boy needed her, and she'd had to take care of herself for her daughter's sake. Though some days, she really did believe her kids were the only reason she was still alive. Whether from someone else's gun, or her own.
A year. It had been one year to the day since she'd made the phone call that would change her world forever. One year since she'd given permission...no, since she'd all but asked John Watson to kill a man who she still, to that day, truly believed had loved her. Someone who had gone out of his way to make her feel important and special. Like she deserved a story to be written.
The father of the little girl gleefully banging a tiny keyboard.
I just have to put the very last nail in the coffin and its done.
No. She shook her head furiously, blonde curls bouncing wildly. No, he was not her father. At least, he wasn't her daddy. Biologically, yes, Jim Moriarty's DNA contributed to that baby. But being a dad took a lot more than that and Graham had accepted the role without either of them even realizing it. From the moment she'd placed her daughter in his arms, the two had been mad about each other.
And yet, in her heart, she knew. She'd always know. Because though the baby shared Graham's coloring, Emma knew where she got it from. It was in her smile. The smile that had so rarely been shared with anyone but her. With anyone else, it had just looked devious, even murderous or insane. But with her, his smile was open and genuine. And it haunted her at times. And she'd never be able to fully escape it because she saw it again and again every time her daughter was happy.
"Oh, sweetheart," she said softly, her hand reaching out to stroke Aislinn's dark hair. It had a tinge of auburn to it that Emma believed she'd likely grow out of, but it would take time. She was fascinated by the baby, watching her grow and change every single day. Things she'd missed out on with Henry.
Things Jim would miss out on with his child. All because of her.
No, I think you sometimes love me and hate me all at once don't you?
No. No, she couldn't afford to think that way. She'd made the right decision. She knew she had. If she'd allowed Katherine to turn him, what then? He'd wanted her, too, and that was not a life she was okay with. And she'd seen that future world. Her daughter couldn't have been allowed to grow up that way. He would, eventually, run all of Lawrence and before long, all of Kansas. From her calculations, it had been less than ten years before gangs all across the country answered to Jim Moriarty. That couldn't happen. She couldn't let it.
No matter how much she loved him.
I know its messy but it'll get better, he'll die and it'll be better.
Aislinn was oblivious to her mother's anxiety, moving her attentions from her keyboard to the stuffed dog Graham had given her not long after her birth. Emma scooted away, letting the baby play, watching her thoughtfully. She pulled her knees in to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. This was her daughter. Not his. This wasn't Aurora Moriarty but Aislinn Swan and she wasn't isolated from the world but had dozens of people who adored her and loved her.
Emma knew the population as a whole had forgiven her and moved on. But she wasn't certain she ever would.
And it was that thought that sent a chill down her spine and worry to cross her face.
You would be so perfect. Can't you see that? I watch you, you have to know I watch you and darling, its your story. I said we'd write it together, didn't I?
And now he was a demon. Now there was a threat consistently over them, always haunting her. At any given moment, he could go topside. Because death wasn't enough for Jim Moriarty. It had to be the best sort of death, the most over the top sort possible. Rest in peace? Not Jim. And because of that, none of them would ever get any peace.
All of her efforts, her sacrifice...it was wasted. All to prevent a Jim who would be immortal, who could taunt the world as a whole. And now he could anyway.
Her eyes closed and instinctively, she reached for the baby, cuddling her close. She couldn't get it out of her head now. And she didn't know how to stop it.
I saw the moment he gave up, and he wants me to join him in hell, a lot of people want me to join them in hell.
How could she not have known?