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Tweak says, "It's pain management."

Helena Wells has "disappeared" with the Astrolabe (ismellapples) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2013-07-14 16:16:00

Entry tags:

claudia donovan, helena g. wells, myka bering

Who: Helena and open to House Warehouse
What: It is the anniversary of Christina Wells' death, and Helena is not in the best of moods.
When: Early afternoon
Where: House Warehouse
Warnings: Mentions of death, feels, otherwise should be low but will update if needed

Finally the week of one bad event after another was nearly over. However, it was culminating in the date of Christina's death, which was always the day that would carry the heaviest weight for Helena. The positive Helena had this time, however, was that after having taken the trip to Paris last year to force herself to finally confront and accept the grief, she had grieved and had found a way to accept her daughter's death. The Victorian woman knew she wouldn't have to worry about going insane or suddenly having a complete breakdown. She was past that point, luckily. However, that didn't mean that she wouldn't be sad at all, she just knew she wouldn't self-destruct in the process of the day.

The change in Helena from last year was vastly different. Last year, she hadn't slept the night previous to the fourteenth of July. this year, she'd managed to sleep. She still woke early in the morning, however, but that was by design. Helena went about her morning routine, though she skipped breakfast, and even her morning tea, and instead when Emily woke, she dressed and fed her, then she headed off with her daughter, her destination a church to once again light a candle for her elder daughter. Helena spent a while there, just sitting and reflecting back on Christina's life. It did still hurt to think of Christina, but it wasn't a pain that would consume her and control. This time, Helena was in control of the pain. Though as she held Emily on her lap, she looked down at her, remembering when Christina's ghost had appeared to her back in September. She did wish that Emily had been able to get to know Christina first-hand, but the girl would need to settle for stories of her older sister. Keeping Christina's memory alive was a way of keeping her close, and she was going to ensure that the memory wasn't a stranger to her or to Emily.

Helena was keeping Svetlana's advice to her in mind, to remind herself that she had good in her life, things that Moriarty hadn't been able to destroy or taint. Emily was one of them. And Christina was another. Helena needed to focus more on the life Christina did have instead of thinking about the life she could have had. So she would share the stories she had about Christina, keeping her memory close. Today would never be a day that Helena could ever see as a good day, and likewise she would never find Paris to be a city she would ever want to vacation in. Those facts, however, wouldn't keep her from celebrating Christina's life. Hopefully in time, the pain that this day would evoke within her would be miniscule. It would never be a day where she would never feel any pain or sadness on, but she was letting herself heal, letting the age-old wounds in her heart and soul heal piece by piece.

After spending a while in the church, Helena decided to head back home. She would be going to a movie with Oswin that evening, but other than that she had no plans for socializing, she wasn't precisely feeling social. She just wanted to spend an afternoon at home. Once at home, Helena put Emily down for a nap, then went and fixed herself something to eat. She'd been gone for a couple hours and it was about lunchtime. Taking her food into the dining room, she sat down at the table and as she ate, she pulled her locket out from under the collar of her shirt and opened it, looking at the picture of Christina within it. A smile curved her lips as she gazed at it, though some tears welled up in her eyes.

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knocknockclauds
2013-07-15 01:01 am UTC (link)

Claudia had spent the greater part of her weekend at Hatter's place at the complex. She felt that a couple's weekend was well deserved and so she had informed him as such while still on shift in the security room Friday. However, Sunday, she knew she needed to be home, at least some part of the day, to help H.G if she needed it. The woman had started out as an antagonist against, well, the world, but had turned into a sort of mother figure for the young redhead, something that she would never have expected, but welcomed more now than she could have imagined. No one could ever replace her own mother, but...Helena was a good sort of secondary mother to have.

So, even though she logically knew there was nothing she could do to make this day any easier or better, Claudia still felt the need to be there today. A daughter's obligation to see her mother was some sort of okay on a day that carried too much grief. And that was why early that afternoon, around lunchtime, Claudia slipped into the house. First she took her things upstairs to drop her bags off in her room, then wandered back downstairs. She found H.G. in the dining room and smiled, albeit a bit sadly, because she knew what was in that locket. It was such bittersweet sort of picture, she didn't really want to ruin it, so she just lingered in the doorway until she was noticed.

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ismellapples
2013-07-15 06:50 am UTC (link)

It was more than a good thing that Helena's house had come here via a wish. It meant that she at least had Christina's things. She had more than just the picture in her locket and her memories to keep her daughter close to her. When she needed it, Christina's things were there, most of them packed away. However, she'd kept one blanket and a doll out. The blanket she used for Emily, and the doll she kept in her own room along with the other photographs she had there. There were of course days where it was difficult to look at the photographs and the doll, but more often than not, it was just a way to keep her daughter close to her.

Helena wasn't certain how long she'd been gazing at her locket by the time she realized someone was standing in the doorway. Looking up to see Claudia standing there, Helena smiled at her, closing her locket and letting it fall back against her chest.

"Hello, darling, did you just get home?" The word "home" had flowed so easily from Helena's lips and she blinked slightly in realization of what she'd said. She hadn't just meant home in the fact that this was Helena's house, she'd meant home in the very fundamental meaning of it. Helena was finally seeing Lawrence as home, a place where she could live and where she actually felt that she belonged. She was accepted here, she had love, a family, things that she didn't necessarily have back home. For the first time in over a century, she felt like she truly belonged somewhere.

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knocknockclauds
2013-07-15 11:49 pm UTC (link)

Claudia returned the smile with little wave before walking further into the room now that she had been noticed and acknowledged and wouldn't be ruining a moment for the older woman that she was pretty sure H.G. probably needed to have anyway. "Yup," she nodded, joining her at the table. "Had a pretty good weekend with Hatter." she said vaguely. If she wanted to know details, Helena would ask for them no doubt, but Claudia didn't want to push them on her without prompting, not today at least.

"Emily must be sleeping." She commented, noting that the little girl wasn't in sight. She had been too busy focusing on H.G. and the locket to have even noticed that a moment ago.

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ismellapples
2013-07-16 12:17 am UTC (link)

As Claudia came in and sat down, Helena smiled softly. Despite the vague statement regarding Hatter, Helena was certain it was more than just a good weekend. "You could have stayed with him longer, if you'd wanted." Despite the progress she'd made in dealing with her own grief and pain, Helena still didn't want to be the reason that Claudia had cut her weekend short with Hatter. "I am glad you enjoyed yourself, though." Because that was the point of relationships, to enjoy time with someone else. Helena had her own relationship that was frightening to her, especially in realizing her feelings for Oswin. However, she didn't let that fear stop her. She wanted this, and she would conquer her own fears much as she hoped Claudia would conquer her own in regards to the subject.

"She is, I just put her down for a nap. I took her with me when I left this morning. I rather think spending time with her older sister exhausted her." The smile on Helena's face turned a bit sad, a bit nostalgic. She remembered when Christina's ghost had been there in September, that for a brief couple weeks she'd had both of her daughters with her. Of course, she knew Christina would always be there with her, she would always be in her heart, but that didn't stop the ache she felt at the loss, at knowing Emily would only know Christina from the pictures she had and the stories she had to tell.

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knocknockclauds
2013-07-16 04:01 pm UTC (link)

She smiled and shook her head, "I had plenty of time, promise." She assured her. She wanted to be here, so she was, it really was as simple as that. And Hatter would still be there later. Claudia pushed away the thought that he could technicaly still be gone in a blink of an eye. She couldn't worry so much about the what if's and the maybe's. She'd drive herself nuts.

"That would tire a girl out." she said, smiling softly. She wondered what was going through the other woman's mind in that moment. Claudia couldn't even really imagine it, honestly.

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ismellapples
2013-07-17 12:13 am UTC (link)

"It is certainly important to spend time with the ones you care about the most." Helena was glad that Claudia had come back to be here. It was still a difficult day for her, and she didn't want to be alone. There was no reason for her to be alone, and really she wasn't alone. That had been something Helena had managed to adjust to. She still wasn't the best at actually talking, but she was better than she had been.

"It would," Helena responded, eating a little more of the light lunch she'd made for herself. Sitting back in her chair, she brushed some hair behind her ear and drew in a deep breath. "At least this year we are not in Paris nor was I just shot," she commented. It had been a very difficult time the previous year. Helena was surprised she hadn't lost her mind completely after everything, including the time she'd spent hiding from Moriarty. Now a year later, she was very much alive, Emily was healthy, Oswin was in her life, and Helena still had plenty of friends. She was more than grateful to have them all in her life, and she didn't take any of them for granted.

"Thank you," she said, looking at Claudia. It was meant for pretty much everything. Helena wasn't certain if she'd ever really thanked Claudia before for all the support, so she thought now was as good a time as any.

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beringandwells
2013-07-17 06:29 pm UTC (link)

Myka had been keeping an eye on the calendar. Knowing that this month was a hard one for her friend. In the past she'd understood Helena's pain over Christina's death. Loss is never easy to get over. There was the saying that time healed all wounds but even that is hard to believe when the death of a loved one is incolved. How long had she blamed herself for Sam's death? Weeks, Months..it had taken being brought to the Warehouse for her to stop. While the two situations weren't exactly comparable loss was something Myka wasn't a stranger too.

The sound of a thud could be heard pulling her head out of her thoughts momentarily. Aidan had rolled over and knocked one of his toys off her bed. Her son who grew bigger every day. In the past she had understood but now, well, now Myka understood on a whole new level. She was a mother now and the thought of losing her child frightened her. Aidan may not have been conceived of in the most conventional of ways but he was here. Scooping him up into her arms she gave him a kiss on the forehead and said, "Let's go make some tea for your Aunt Helena. I think she'd like that."

Myka slipped into the kitchen when she came downstairs. The faint voices of both Claudia and Helena in the dining room could be heard. When the tea was finished Myka placed everything on a tray and slowly slid the tray into the crook of her arm. Aidan seeing something new tried to reach his little arms for it but Myka kept it out of his reach. "No, Aidan, not for you." She whispered to him and walked to the dining room. As she came through the doorway Myka asked, "Is there room for two more?"

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knocknockclauds
2013-07-17 07:19 pm UTC (link)

"Especially around her," Claudia nodded her agreement with H.G.'s statement. That was one thing she followed through on more than almost anything around here. Spending time with people she cared about. Because in Lawrence, anything could happen, and they could be gone in an instant. And then what would she be left with? Regret? No, thanks. She'd get her time in, thanks.

"Last year was hard," she agreed, nodding again. "But it's a little better this year, right? Just, like, a teeny tiny bit?" Her last question ended on a hopeful sort of note.

She tilted her head slightly at that sudden and seeming out of nowhere thanks. "For what?" she asked curiously. Claudia glanced up when she heard a new voice speaking, "There's always room for more," she said, smiling up at Myka. Myka, who had started as nothing more than a co-worker and who had eventually worked her way into being a sister. They really were like family, the agents of the Warehouse. She didn't know where she'd be without them.

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ismellapples
2013-07-17 07:32 pm UTC (link)

Helena merely nodded her agreement with Claudia's statement. Anything could happen in this world, she knew that very well. Of course, the same could be said for their own world, but Helena was trying not to think of that place. She had no home in that world nor did she have anything that was stable and constant there. There was the Warehouse, but Helena had fallen out of love with the Warehouse decades before. It wasn't a place of endless wonder to her, and she really didn't want to go back to that world and be tied to the Warehouse, a place that now seemed to hold so many bad connotations for her.

"This year is worlds better," Helena asserted with an actual smile. She hadn't been the focus of a psychopath this year, she hadn't been shot. And she'd managed to find balance in her life here. She had much here that she had once given up on ever having. She had nothing to complain about. Not now, anyway. She was just grateful that the Seal had kept things relatively quiet for her the past several months. Obviously she knew sooner or later all Hell would break lose, quite literally, but that time was not now. Now was the time to live as though nothing was happening.

"For everything. Not least of which was believing in me," Helena explained, giving Claudia a smile. When Myka entered, she looked up at her and Aidan and smiled. "Of course, there is always room for more. Especially when you come bearing tea." Helena had noticed the tea on the tray quite quickly. She was not one who missed her tea time. Given she'd skipped her morning tea that morning, she was quite in dire need of a good cup of tea right about then.

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