|Helena Wells has "disappeared" with the Astrolabe (ismellapples) wrote in wariscoming,|
@ 2013-07-14 16:16:00
|Entry tags:||claudia donovan, helena g. wells, myka bering|
Who: Helena and open to House Warehouse
What: It is the anniversary of Christina Wells' death, and Helena is not in the best of moods.
When: Early afternoon
Where: House Warehouse
Warnings: Mentions of death, feels, otherwise should be low but will update if needed
Finally the week of one bad event after another was nearly over. However, it was culminating in the date of Christina's death, which was always the day that would carry the heaviest weight for Helena. The positive Helena had this time, however, was that after having taken the trip to Paris last year to force herself to finally confront and accept the grief, she had grieved and had found a way to accept her daughter's death. The Victorian woman knew she wouldn't have to worry about going insane or suddenly having a complete breakdown. She was past that point, luckily. However, that didn't mean that she wouldn't be sad at all, she just knew she wouldn't self-destruct in the process of the day.
The change in Helena from last year was vastly different. Last year, she hadn't slept the night previous to the fourteenth of July. this year, she'd managed to sleep. She still woke early in the morning, however, but that was by design. Helena went about her morning routine, though she skipped breakfast, and even her morning tea, and instead when Emily woke, she dressed and fed her, then she headed off with her daughter, her destination a church to once again light a candle for her elder daughter. Helena spent a while there, just sitting and reflecting back on Christina's life. It did still hurt to think of Christina, but it wasn't a pain that would consume her and control. This time, Helena was in control of the pain. Though as she held Emily on her lap, she looked down at her, remembering when Christina's ghost had appeared to her back in September. She did wish that Emily had been able to get to know Christina first-hand, but the girl would need to settle for stories of her older sister. Keeping Christina's memory alive was a way of keeping her close, and she was going to ensure that the memory wasn't a stranger to her or to Emily.
Helena was keeping Svetlana's advice to her in mind, to remind herself that she had good in her life, things that Moriarty hadn't been able to destroy or taint. Emily was one of them. And Christina was another. Helena needed to focus more on the life Christina did have instead of thinking about the life she could have had. So she would share the stories she had about Christina, keeping her memory close. Today would never be a day that Helena could ever see as a good day, and likewise she would never find Paris to be a city she would ever want to vacation in. Those facts, however, wouldn't keep her from celebrating Christina's life. Hopefully in time, the pain that this day would evoke within her would be miniscule. It would never be a day where she would never feel any pain or sadness on, but she was letting herself heal, letting the age-old wounds in her heart and soul heal piece by piece.
After spending a while in the church, Helena decided to head back home. She would be going to a movie with Oswin that evening, but other than that she had no plans for socializing, she wasn't precisely feeling social. She just wanted to spend an afternoon at home. Once at home, Helena put Emily down for a nap, then went and fixed herself something to eat. She'd been gone for a couple hours and it was about lunchtime. Taking her food into the dining room, she sat down at the table and as she ate, she pulled her locket out from under the collar of her shirt and opened it, looking at the picture of Christina within it. A smile curved her lips as she gazed at it, though some tears welled up in her eyes.