Who:Mal and open to Claire C. if she wants to or narrative! What:Nightmares When:Tonight Where:His place Warnings:bad things?
Once there was something he believed in, a purpose to his life. A platoon of men that relied on him. A platoon that died at his feet in the ashes of war along with his faith. What was his life now? More often than he liked in Lawrence he asked himself that question. Who was he without Serenity?...
Without..
He would never be without. Even when he had company in his bed or sharing his room, he was never without Serenity. His room was silent and peaceful, his nightmares were not. Even when his eyes were closed, seemingly in a peaceful sleep pain remained. No matter what brave face he put on to cover it, it still haunted him day and night. Serenity lingered in his memory like a leaf on the wind.
Serenity Valley was hell on Earth. The final days of that war were spent in the dark and starving. Yet Mal still held onto hope. Even as fire rained down upon them from enemy ships and struck down man after man, he clutched onto the hope that they would be saved. They were just too damn pretty to die. The rescue would be sent into the sky, and the enemy would flee like the piss ants they were. Things would be good for the Independents and the verse.
That was what it was like when Mal had hope.
Now things were different. Now he was without. His belief lie in results, hope was for fools. Hope was for the men he watched die in front of his eyes, hoping they'd get to go home and see the sun rise with their families again. The scent of blood and gunpowder filled his nostrils. Dead and blank eyes stared up at him. Whole troops had laid down arms and were killed. Unconditional Surrender. That was just those who were lucky enough to be able. The ones on the ground were not so lucky. The ones abandoned were left for dead.
Always Serenity Valley. Always that night.
He woke to the sounds of gun fire echoing through his memory, breathing heavily. A cold sweat gathered on his skin. For a moment he sat there in bed, staring into the darkness as he caught his breath and looked down at a shaking hand.
Never without Serenity.
He pulled the sheet off himself and got up to the sink near his bed. Staring down at the faucet he splashed cold water on his face and took a deep breath, muttering curse in Chinese.