This was all too mental for words. He didn't know how to handle it. Which was wrong, considering who handled trouble better than he did? Okay, that might have been pushing it. But Remus was usually very good about handling extreme situations. Except where a certain pink-haired cousin of his best friend was concerned.
Only she hadn't been so pink-haired when he'd last seen her. Clandestine meetings he still felt guilty about had shown him a sad, mousy-haired woman who only vaguely resembled the beautiful, vibrant, intelligent woman he'd fallen so in love with. Against his better judgment. Part of him regretted pushing her away but how could he not? She was in danger every day anyway, being around him, smelling of him when he was supposed to be undercover... It was constantly putting her at risk and he couldn't. She wouldn't be Emmeline. He wouldn't allow it.
But she knew none of this. She didn't know Sirius was dead, she didn't know they'd lost Emmeline, and she certainly didn't know he'd left her behind to go infiltrate a feral wolfpack. And not just any wolfpack, but the pack led by the man who'd turned him. And he somehow had to explain all of this. Without letting himself get caught up all over again.
He already knew he was doomed to fail.
Once he'd found the Complex, gotten the famed amulet and welcome kit, and picked a flat, he made his way to the one Tonks had told him to go to. And he knocked, though his heart was in his throat and he felt a little nauseous, admittedly.