Cosette actually heard the people sing kthnx (likealark) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2013-06-17 13:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | cosette |
Who: Cosette Fauchelevant and OTA or narrative
What: Thinking, making sense of memories
When: Afternoon of the 17th June
Where: Garden on the roof
Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, rest TBA?
It had been a month since Cosette had returned to Lawrence from the alternate world and in that time, memories of her past had started clouding her dreams. She knew that she couldn't run from the past, in fact, she had wanted to know what it was her papa had kept hidden from her. Not just his own past, because that was a story she knew went far back and colored so much of their life, but why he refused to talk of her own past. Her mother. She simply knew that she was with God. She didn't know anything about Fantine, though. Just the words of Madame Thenardier, telling her that her mother didn't care, that they were the scum of the street, while Valjean always said to remember her fondly. But that was it.
Though, it wasn't as if Cosette had really anticipated what it was Valjean had been keeping from her. In a way she understood of course. He was trying to protect the sixteen year old. But she was almost seventeen and that had to count for something. Besides, hiding the truth under a guise of 'protection' could just hurt a person. What would remembering about her past really do beyond give her a fuller grasp of the world? She wasn't as naive as people wanted to believe. She knew that there was so much more beyond first the convent walls and then the walls she had found herself behind in her papa's need to shield them from the world beyond when they would try to help those in need to the best of their abilities. Just because she understood though didn't change the fact that Cosette was frustrated that her past had been kept from her.
As she usually did, the blonde was up on the roof in the garden, just tending to it. It helped to clear her mind. She was worried. Not just about Marius (though she really did worry about him, he seemed to be stuck and all she could do was try to get him to see a silver lining in this place) but about those who had been harmed by the vampires on the loose, the people in the city who had no idea. That was something she could relate with them on. Things happening with no real explanation. It would be harder for them to explain the existence of the supernatural to such a mass, the fact that characters they knew from book and screen were real... but she still understood the frustration people must feel whenever something like this happened. Still, even as one of the rogue vampires had been caught, there were so many people being attacked, even the woman who had helped Marius, if a handful of their own were being attacked, what did that say for the general populous?
And what was she even capable of doing to help? She was sheltered, she had her books and she could tend a garden. Not to mention that the constant worrying was leading to more memories, violent memories. Memories that kept her wary of the Inn. And it wasn't even that she didn't trust Eponine or she blamed the other young woman for what had happened. She'd meant it when she said that she didn't hold Eponine responsible for simply following the example of her parents, abusive and painful as that example was. But the Inn itself still made her uncomfortable. More on edge. Which was why beyond the dinner and then when Grantaire had first shown up and ensuring no one died of alcohol poisoning, Cosette tried to stay away. At least until she was more at peace with her memories.
Finishing up with the tending that needed to be done that day, Cosette moved to a bench and sat down, staring across the horizon, her mind drifting to the past. She was managing to compartmentalize. To process what she had endured and accept it. But that didn't mean it was an easy process. But she also wasn't going to let it define her, to change her. She had managed to see good in people, to trust, despite it. If that was what her papa was trying to keep, well... she could see it for how could one so used to harsh words and beatings, to abandonment and neglect ever trust? It seemed such a thing to turn people from it yet... there were good and bad people. To judge just because of her formative years being lived in such an environment would be far more naive in Cosette's opinion.
Still, she missed her papa. Especially as the day previous was one meant to celebrate fathers and even if he was not her father by birth, he was and would always be her papa.