She had believed him. And much as a part of him wondered how complete that belief had been, he wasn't going to push it, he wasn't going to lose her again and he wasn't going to walk away and let himself go simply because she'd had a moments hesitation. He'd understood why of course in hindsight. He had already been slipping. But here, it was different, here he was trying that much harder to be the man she deserved. He returned the kiss just as softly, an admittidly bloody hand clasping hers as he watched Katherine heal and then compel the girl.
Her kind really did seem to have won the vampire lottery of this world, he thought, more than a little begrudgingly. Katherine helped the girl up, moving her inside having compelled her and Hal finally slumped against the wall staring at the blood. The pool of blood, still fresh, still there, still belonging to that girl who would now live thanks to Katherine. Not him, he couldn't bring life like she could.
All blood brought to him was darkness and death.
But it was so close, all he had to do was reach out to it.
"I'll never be free of it will I? I'll never be completely clean because even this, even that pool of blood, its a way to him isn't it, its all step by step to that day when its just not me anymore. And I can fight it, I can fight him, I can do it all for you but its futile in the end isn't it. I can't be like Katherine. I can't flip a switch, my blood doesn't save people. What the hell do you see in me Alex, why do you stay when the only thing I can think about right now, the only thing that's fucking getting in to my mind right now is the blood."
He was surprisingly with it for being that close to blood. Oh he wanted it, it screamed to him, but he was focused, not rambling as much as he could be. Logical. Coldly logical.
"...its everywhere. All over me, I tried to...god I tried to help, again. And now even my hands, I..."