Elena Gilbert is a hero for the lost cause (naturaldisaster) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2013-05-27 21:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | elena gilbert |
Who: Elena Gilbert (Open to House of Misfit Toys or narrative)
What: Nightmare of inner demons/thoughts in the form of loved ones because no one hates Elena Gilbert like Elena Gilbert
When: Middle of the night (around 2:45 am 28 May)
Where: House of Misfit Toys
Warnings: Self hatred and guilt.
It was hot. Very hot. That was the main thing Elena was aware of. Sticky hot, humid. It was also dark. Now it wasn’t that Elena was naturally afraid of the dark. She knew that dangerous things lurked in it, but they lurked everywhere. So the feeling of being followed was more than slightly unnerving. Because if she was unnerved, it was bad. But Elena was also done with it. She was done being hunted for her blood, she was done with always worrying about what would happen to her loved ones because they were the way to get to her, she was done with the stress. If they wanted to take her, if it meant saving her friends and brother, so be it. Which meant that the nineteen year old stopped in a clearing, eyes narrowed in determination.
“Okay, that’s it. I know you’re out there, if you want me, come and get me.”
The only response she got was rustling in the leaves, causing Elena to just roll her eyes.
“Typical.” Really, you challenge the person following you and then they don’t bother to show themselves, too afraid to show who they were. Well, the psychopaths maybe not so much, but in general, show that you’re not afraid and suddenly the person stalking you ends up terrified. As she started walking again, that’s when the voices started.
“You should have died, Elena.”
That stopped her, causing the nineteen year old to look around. This wasn’t Maleficent again, it couldn’t be.
“What?”
“If you had died, I wouldn’t have lost my Grams.”
And out came Bonnie from the shadows, stalking towards her slowly.
“Bonnie...”
And suddenly she was shoved back by magic by her best friend, into another body.
“If you had died, I wouldn’t be a control freak monster.”
Spinning, Elena came face to face with Caroline, vamped out, hand to her throat. “How could you be so selfish?!”
Being flung forward, Elena crumpled at the feet of Matt, who spat at the ground.
“You should have died, Elena, Vicki would still be alive, I wouldn’t have lost my sister.”
“Matt, I’m sor--”
“You’re always sorry and it doesn’t fix anything. Why did I save you?”
Feeling herself being pulled up by the hair, Elena was face to face with Stefan, who was just shaking his head before handing her to Damon who just sneered.
“I keep trying to be this person and I’m not him, Elena, you just see it. I could be out there having fun instead of having you harping on me to be more than I am. You just want to fix me, nothing else, I’m a project.”
“I wouldn’t be a hybrid if it weren’t for you being alive.”
Seeing Tyler in the background, Elena struggled not to cry. Logically she knew she couldn’t take the blame for the choices of others, but logic was so far gone as face after face of those she loved and trusted tore her down, flung her around like nothing more than a ragdoll. Jenna and Alaric, ripped apart from one another, because of her being alive. Had she died, they could have had lives. They could have been together.
“You never should have come to Lawrence, you’re just going to ruin everyone you touch. You should have died when you tried.”
The voice was Elphie, and breath stopped. In all her dreams and nightmares, it only was Mystic Falls people who voiced the thoughts she still struggled with. Never had her friends from Lawrence joined in on the raining the hatred down on Elena.
“There’s so much going on and yet you’ll drag us down just like you have everyone else. Thanks, Elena, really.”
“Rose... I....”
“Save it. We know the sob story.”
Seeing Anatoly, Elena struggled to breathe, stepping backwards only to feel arms around around her.
“My entire family has turned dark and it will be your fault when I do. Yet you don’t care and hold on regardless, you say you’re nothing but pain, nothing but suffering, yet you continue to subject us to it.”
Anakin’s words cut deep, she didn’t even respond as he shoved her into the lake she ended up at and held her under the water, causing her body to thrash until suddenly she felt someone pull her up.
“My life has been hell after hell thanks to you surviving that crash, I could have had a normal life had you just died.”
Jeremy. The one she felt the most guilt over. Her brother. The one who lost everyone because of her. The one who saved her, only to shove her under the water again. Struggling, Elena gasped for air only to inhale water, her lungs feeling on fire. Why was she bothering? She had known before that the way to save everyone she had to die, but she had been fighting so hard against that mind set. She had made progress. Sure she had slipped slightly on Mother’s Day but she was still doing better and now....
And suddenly she was awake. In pain. And on the floor.
“What the....”
Looking around, Elena realized she was in her room, tangled in her sheets haphazardly and her back really hurt as though she had hit it on something. But the closest thing to do that was her nightstand. And how the hell did someone hit their spine against a nightstand at the head of their bed? Unless they did amazing contortionist things while asleep.
“What time is it...”
The question was grumbled tiredly as she rubbed her eyes and groped around for her phone. 2:43 in the morning. Groaning in frustration, Elena stood up, wincing. The words from the dream still cut deeply and she knew she wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon. Which meant going to the kitchen and making tea, making sure that she didn’t make any noise lest she wake someone. That was the good thing about being in the lone room on the first floor, less chance of doing so.
Water heated and tea steeping, Elena moved back to the living room and sat on the couch, leaning her head back and just staring at the ceiling. The insomnia wasn’t as bad as it had been before. But was this a sign? She knew that Anakin had worried about how she would spiral into old habits following Rose getting injured and the minor slip and she had promised it wouldn’t be that big an issue. Elena just hadn’t counted on almost everyone she knew being sent to alternate worlds and trying to come to terms with that, with the arrival of the Originals who did seem to be holding to their desire to simply have their own life. But she wasn’t stupid. She skimmed their posts when she bothered to be on the boards. And things didn’t add up. She didn’t like that.
Covering her eyes with her arm, Elena let out an annoyed breath. No. She had her moment of stupid and getting drunk with Sam because everything had added up with no outlet because no one was who they were supposed to be or they were dealing with things, which had led to random adoption and talk of rainbows and hugs. Now she had to pull herself together and make sure that Klaus didn’t learn who would make her bend to his will if he changed his mind and tune. She couldn’t risk it.
It was Mystic Falls all over again, thing after thing and no time to breathe, with added apocalyptic threat and fun. Great. Just great.