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Tweak says, "SPOOOON!!!"

Mara Jade Skywalker is always surprising you (lifeyoulive) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2013-04-28 04:01:00

Entry tags:

jacen solo, mara jade skywalker

Who: Jacen and Mara
What: Trying to get Jacen to ~feel things. Without turning him into Caedus.
When: The day after this conversation. ~~Let's pretend Anne doesn't suck in being slow, yes?~~
Where: Where Jacen is staying
Warnings: Uh TBA but it will possibly get heated. Will update as necessary.

Mara was deeply concerned about her nephew. What worried her further was that his presence was so...cold in the Force. There was no emotion in it whatsoever. And that actually unnerved Mara. Not much could unnerve her like that, but this did. Tahiri's words to her had been troubling, giving her affirmation on her fears of where Jacen was heading. This emotionless man was not something she could live with. In a way, Mara would rather face Caedus because he at least would be feeling something then. She wasn't scared of Jacen in this state, but she was scared of what he would become if nothing was done to attempt to rectify the situation. She needed to get him to feel the pain of having lost his wife and daughter to the Seal. The only trick was to get him to feel that pain without him instantly going Caedus.

She had not told anyone outside of Tahiri what she was doing. But even Tahiri hadn't gotten details beyond making Jacen feel. Mara was prepared to end up fighting Jacen if she had to. If it meant getting him to feel again and open himself back up to his emotions, she would do anything. Of course the fact that he'd killed her once still remained on her mind, but in a straight up fight, she knew she could match him. Or at least she'd been able to right before she'd died. There was no doubt he'd learned new tricks and Force abilities in the time that had elapsed after her death. But Mara was a fighter and she wasn't about to simply let her nephew wallow in this cold, emotionless state. Despite everything that she'd gone through with Jacen, despite having all the reason in the world to hate him and not care about him, she did still care. They were family, and family meant something to Mara. Even if part of her would always hate him for what he'd done to her, but she was able to set such feelings aside when the situation called for it.

So she headed to where Jacen was staying, her lightsaber and shoto concealed where the common person could not see them. While it had been reflex to take them knowing that this world was never completely safe, she was also prepared to use them if needed. She really hoped she didn't have to be moved to action to get through to Jacen. Mara's first plan was just to talk to him, try to get him to express himself, let himself feel. But if it came to it, she would give him the very real knock upside the head and make him face his emotions. Her Force presence was not concealed, which would of course allow Jacen to sense her coming. When she got to the door, she knocked and waited for him to answer the door.

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jeditraitor
2013-04-29 03:49 pm UTC (link)

Mara was worried. It was unsual enough as things went to see the Jedi Master worried about him, but she was. There was no denying that. And what was he supposed to tell her? It would all be better soon? Unless the seal brought them back to him it would not be better soon. And in his time here Jacen had learned that the seal bent to no ones will. Not even his. And he'd raged about it, taken his fury out on the only one still loyal to him. Used her if he was honest. Tahiri would always come back to him though. There was no love between them. Respect, trust and friendship yes. And even lust. A healthy amount of lust. But he didn't imagine he could ever love the girl from the sand people.

Finally he sensed his aunt approaching and turned his head toward the door awaiting the knock he fully expected. Still with that eerie coldness the most overwhelming thing in his Force presence. He knew Mara wouldn't like it any more than Tahiri did, but did they want the alternative. Was that not worse? Was that not Caedus and destruction and war?

What the hell did they want from him? What did Mara of all people want? He wasn't going to change. He wasn't going to be who he was with his wife and his daughter. They had always been his reason, his guiding light. And yes, things between him and the Queen Mother had for a long while been far from perfect, he'd thought of straying with his loyal apprentice as he had done many times before. But it hadn't happened and yet now she was gone anyway. And their daughter.

When the knock on the door came it took only a slight exertion in the Force to open it. He did so, leaving the way clear for his Aunt.

"You're here to talk, you're worried about me, worried about how I'm coping and you've decided to take an active interest, I'm going to tell you there's no reason to be worried. I'm perfectly fine, yes I miss them but I can cope. I've coped with worse and besides I have a rather conveniant outlet for frustration and rage. But you're going to tell me I need to open myself up to my feelings, I'm going to tell you that we both know what that leads to and ask if you really want to meet him again. You'll be hurt but resolute and probably yell at me. There. That's a pretty good estimation of the facts, don't you think? Now that we're both clear, can we skip the usual pleasentries and get to it?"

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lifeyoulive
2013-05-01 07:31 am UTC (link)

Obviously avoiding Caedus emerging was foremost on Mara's mind. She knew what it would mean if he did revert to that. And it would force a confrontation between them that Mara never wished to repeat. The memory of Kavan was still a potent one despite having been in Lawrence for over a year. Avoiding such a confrontation was Mara's primary goal, but likewise she knew Jacen's emotions were dangerous when unleashed. This was going to be a process that no doubt would be akin to brain surgery, proceeding with utmost care to every movement made lest one wrong move set bad things into motion.

Mara knew the opposite of Jacen's current cold demeanor meant Caedus, but she wasn't going for the polar opposite. But of course moderation was never something Jacen had mastered. No doubt that was part of the reason the Jedi never saw fit to promote him within the Jedi ranks. And it clearly was what helped him slip to the Dark Side. Being unable to balance his emotions was dangerous, but Mara was going to try to help him find some middle ground and to help keep him there. The fact that Jacen had such a cold Force presence to her meant that he wasn't really dealing with the emotional toll of having lost his wife and daughter.

She wasn't about to claim she knew what he was going through. Losing both so close together was not an experience Mara had. She'd lost her husband to the Seal yes, so in that she understood the loss of a loved one. Though she also understood that the Seal was the only way Jacen would ever see his wife and daughter again in life, much as the Seal was the only way Mara could ever see Luke or Ben again. In that common ground she hoped she could gain a little ground with Jacen.

When the door opened, she walked in, closing it behind her, the followed Jacen's voice to the room he was in. It was eerie to see this coldness as well as feel it. It was just not her nephew whatsoever. Was she glad he hadn't immediately gone to the Caedus extreme? Yes she was. Still, she wasn't exactly liking this whole situation. Though the comment about the outlet for his frustration and rage wasn't missed. She was certain she knew he was speaking of Tahiri. In her conversation with Tahiri, while there were no details beyond training and hunting, Mara was fairly certain there was far more to it than that.

"Of course, getting to the point is a far better way of doing things." Mara walked in and sat down in a chair and looked at her nephew. "Which brings us to the part where I will tell you I'm not about to sit here and tell you I know how you feel because what good will that do? What I will tell you is I know that like you, this world is the only chance either of us have for seeing those we love most again in life. And no doubt you may not understand why I am worried about you, but perhaps that statement may shed some light on that matter for you."

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jeditraitor
2013-05-09 09:20 am UTC (link)

There it was, she was worried. About him. She was far too focused on that given their history. But then she was the good one, the reformed one. Mara Jade, sent to kill the man she would fall in love with, marry, bear a son for. It must have been hard to be her, she'd walked away from power, from everything she had ever known, just for that. For his uncle. And she'd suffered for it, the spores that had nearly killed her, a war that had nearly broken their family, and then death at the hands of her own nephew.

"Wouldn't it be easier for you if I did just give in to the Dark Side, you could kill me, take that revenge you must have craved since getting here. No Tenel Ka, no Allana to answer to. You could make Jaina and Anakin understand, Maybe not Tahiri. She'd be lost if she didn't have me." he added matter of factly.

"You're not here to tell me you know how I feel, fine. You haven't done that. So tell me instead what you do want with me. Are you going to tell me they might come back one day. And if they did that they'd even want anything to do with me. Tenel Ka had been pulling away for months, scared of me. Did you ever think about Tahiri though, on her own back home with only me to turn to, she trusted me, believed in me. When I lost Tenel Ka, when she betrayed me, where do you think I turned for the baser comforts. Why should it be different now, hm?"

He had no reason to mention it other than hoping Mara would leave in disgust and leave him to it. He didn't want to talk about 'how he felt'. He didn't want to talk about losing them twice now, he didn't want to talk about being stuck here. None of it made sense anymore and all he wanted was to forget it.

But apparently that wasn't allowed. Apparently Mara couldn't resist getting involved. Her interferance had gotten her killed before. Why was she so kriffing insistant now.

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