It had taken all of her willpower not to turn away when Clark had talked about wanting to watch out for her. For all of their conversations about her needing to be more careful or the dangers she faced on a constant basis, actually seeing the array of emotions displayed on his face when he’d said he wouldn’t know what to do was jarring. He’d carry on doing what he did, wouldn’t he? Keep on being the strong, selfless man that she loved. Her death couldn’t stop him from doing that, could it? Not that she was planning on dying anytime soon, but...
Lois had known love in her life. Her mother had never been one to give up a chance to tell anyone in her family how much she cared for them, but once the woman had died instances like those had been far from common in her household. Lois knew her father did love her and her sister, but the General had never been one for emotions once Ella Lane had passed away. Even in her cousin’s side of the family it wasn’t an emotion shown all that often. Except between her and Chloe, but until Lois had moved to Smallville, keeping up with Chloe had been a phone call here and there during the year. Possibly a few weeks spent together during the summer. She’d seen how the Kents loved one another and the hardship they’d both endured when Jonathan died.
But right there, glancing back at Clark, Lois didn’t think she’d ever truly known the depth of his feelings for her until that precise moment. He was still talking, something about her injuries, but she barely paid attention to any of that, confident he’d take care of them as best he could. Not that she didn’t bite her lip against the sting once he started sanitizing the scratches. She watched him work until she couldn’t anymore and then turned away, staring off at nothing in particular.
“You’d be okay,” Lois finally started, not entirely sure she even wanted to have this conversation. “Maybe not at first, but you wouldn’t let it destroy you, Clark. Eventually you’d pick up the pieces and build your life again.” She looked back at him, hoping he was done with the cleaning part because she wanted to have this conversation while looking at him if she could. “And not just because I’d come back from the grave and kick your ass if you didn’t, but because you couldn’t turn away from the cries of everyone needing your help forever.”
She caught one of his hands in her own, squeezing gently as she reached up to touch her other hand to his cheek. “You wouldn’t want your death to break me--” Not that she was entirely sure it wouldn’t. The thought of losing him was one that she lived with everyday, Seal or no Seal, and while Lois knew she’d take it hard, probably harder than anything else in her life, she thought she’d keep on going through the motions until the day she died. She wouldn’t ever love again, but like hell she wouldn’t work to keep his legacy alive through her own means. “--so mine can’t do it to you.”
It was such an easy thing to say, but living it was probably infinitely harder. “It’s not something I want either of us to deal with. Ever. But.” It wasn’t as though they lived forever. “I don’t want to be what destroys you. I will kick your ass so hard from beyond the grave if that happens.”