Lois still wouldn’t look at him and when he wrapped his fingers around her wrist she’d nearly pulled away. She didn’t deserve that touch of comfort, she didn’t want it right then and there, but she didn’t have the strength of mind to do much about it. Clark’s questions only made the uneasiness in stomach grow and she knew it was the guilt eating away at her. She’d known the boy was going to his death, but she hadn’t expected something like this.
“When Dick killed the woman...he just pushed the knife into her gut and she disappeared. There was a scream but it wasn’t.” She kept staring at the blood. It hadn’t been like this. Just one moment the woman had been there and the next she’d been gone. “He said he’d do what no one else would. I thought he was going to be like Dick. Brass in and gone.” Obviously she’d been wrong about that idea. And really, considering Guy had threatened to burn everyone the last time he’d been so emotionally vulnerable maybe she should have known better. But she hadn’t been thinking. Not really. She’d watched Rose be gutted, Dick’s arm nearly chewed off and while she hadn’t been able to lay the fatal blow to the boy a small part of her did know he wasn’t supposed to live. Wasn’t the whole point of them going out that day to kill him? How the hell did anyone live with this after they were finished?
“I didn’t expect him to do it like this.”
She did pull away from Clark then, scrubbing even harder at the ground. “I don’t know where he is now. Maybe he disappeared once Guy was...” Done torturing him as that was clearly what had happened. Monster or no monster, the child hadn’t deserved this ending.
“Guy didn’t do anything to me. I made the choice. I did this. Me.” There was no one else to lay blame with what had happened and Lois Lane always accepted responsibility for when she’d done wrong. She wasn’t one to cry, hated doing it in front of anyone. It made her vulnerable and she hated feeling that way, but somewhere in the middle of all that she had been saying the tears had started to fall and blinked them back in frustration as they clouded her vision. “I basically killed him myself.” And she was never going to get over that fact.