No, they couldn't be together as she wanted. Because she was dead. They could never have Sunday mornings lounging in bed, eating bacon or fucking waffles, drinking coffee, having every kind of sex imaginable. Weekends where he'd have to deal with her PMSing, or using up all the hot water because she was taking forever in the bloody shower. Normal stuff. A life. Like any couple in love, and she'd never have that with anyone. Because she was dead. A lingering memory that couldn't quite let go of the world.
But then he was kissing her, and it was good. It was as though she could actually feel the heat of his skin, the pressure of his lips against hers, and it was so much better than the kiss they'd had at home, when he'd been high on the blood again. And it was all over far too quickly.
"Hal..." Kisses shouldn't hurt, right? Shouldn't cause that stabbing pain in a heart that wasn't beating any more. Alex closed her eyes, trying to stop herself from shaking slightly, as her tongue slipped out briefly to lick her over lips as though she could somehow taste any lingering trace of him.
"Sometimes you can be such a bastard." A few moments more and she opened her eyes to look at him. And she took some deep breaths, even though they were so far from needed.
"I'm not going to beg. I don't fucking beg, I'm not going to stand here and tell you that we should be together, that we should try, that maybe we have a chance even with all the fucking odds stacked against us, even though that's how I feel." She had way too much pride to stand there and plead with him to give them a chance.
"I think.... maybe...." she paused, drawing each word out as she thought of them, not wanting to actually say it out loud. "I think maybe I should stay somewhere else. Because this isn't fair. Whatever this is, it's not fair on either of us. And you deserve the chance to be happy, Hal, you really do. I believe in you, I know you can do this, just maybe all the guilt fucking angst that comes with me being nearby, maybe that's just making this worse for you. And god, that's the last thing I ever want for you."