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Tweak says, "Burn baby, burn."

Henry Mills is the (boywhobelieves) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2013-04-09 18:09:00

Entry tags:

emma swan, henry swan

Who: Henry and Emma
What: Time for a talk
When: tonight!
Where: the park
Warnings: is angst a warning?

Henry had tried not to let what everyone had been saying get to him. He’d tried closing the computer and walking away once the conversations on Kenzi’s post had turned sour, but that was easier said than done. And when the conversation had suddenly stopped, he’d figured for a bit that maybe cooler heads had prevailed. Then he’d seen the conversation open on Emma’s laptop when she’d been busy feeding his sister and he’d seen that if anything heads had begun to roll with all the hate and anger that had been flung around.

It wasn’t as though he didn’t partially understand what everyone was saying or why they were feeling the way they were. Regina had done a lot of horrible things in her life. Some of them directly to him or in ways that hurt him even if she hadn’t meant to do so. He’d seen the hollow shells of a life everyone had lived around him and so he’d sought out Emma to help break the curse. And while he knew it was broken back home, it hadn’t been yet for him, and sometimes when he looked at those around him, he wondered if breaking it was really enough. None of them were ever going to be the people they were before that horrid magic had been forced upon them and it showed in the littlest ways. Or maybe people simply didn’t live up to the giants one built them up to when reading about them in stories.

The cold was starting to seep into his coat and he hunched his shoulders down, tightening the fabric a little closer as he turned the page of his book. There wasn’t anything about fairy tales in this. No wicked witches or long lost loves or ripped out hearts. Just a pig on a farm and a spider to save his life. He’d seen the movie--cartoon and live action--before but there was something about the way the words brought the world inside of the book to life that made it more real to him. Maybe it was because he’d lived so long with people ripped out from a storybook, with the pages inside of one telling him more truth than the mother who raised him did, that he felt a connection to words.

He knew he should head home or at least call to let them know he was alright. But he didn’t want to talk to any of them in that house. He knew he should have gone to the center and seen Regina like he said he was going to, but he didn’t want to see her either. He couldn’t stand any more apologies thrown his way. Didn’t want to look at her with all he’d read the others saying.

So he was just going to keep sitting on the bench and read until he couldn’t stand the cold anymore.

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boywhobelieves
2013-04-10 01:58 am UTC (link)

To his credit, Henry didn’t flinch away from her touch. He didn’t lean into it like he usually did either, just sat there and stared down at the book as the raindrops began to fall. “I don’t think you have to forgive her.” How could some of them ever do that? Forcing people to forgive someone wouldn’t work out well for anyone. He’d figured that much out already. “And people shouldn’t tell you to...but does it have to become a fight if people do? Can’t people just say they won’t and walk away?”

Why did everyone have to say such mean things all the time about everything back home? What if they were stuck here forever and Regina did do good things. He didn’t expect them to all become friends even if he would like that to happen, but couldn’t they at least agree to leave one another alone? Why couldn’t that happen?

He roughly pulled down his backpack and threw the book in, anger taking over. But Regina wasn’t exactly innocent either. What she had done to Graham...

“Why did she hurt everyone? Why is everyone still hurting everyone? All of you have to stop it!"

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lostfairytale
2013-04-10 02:24 am UTC (link)

There were too many questions she didn't have answers to. Regina should have been the one having to face this. Having to look at that sweet little face so marred by anger and confusion and pain. But this was her child, her son. Regina could lay claim to him and Emma would even give her the credit she deserved for raising him for ten years. But at the end of the day, it was her responsibility to deal with the tough questions of life with her boy.

Even if most boys had questions about girls, or bullies, or math, not adopted mothers who had ruined the lives of an entire kingdom.

"I'll never understand why she did what she did, Henry. I won't lie to you and pretend I can. I know as a young woman she was very hurt and she placed that blame on your grandmother. From there it was anyone and everyone who got in the way of her revenge." Emma's grandfather. Regina's father. So many people.

Her voice all but dripped with the emotional exhaustion the last couple of days had taken on her, to say nothing of the last several hours. "It isn't as easy as all of that, though, Henry. I know it's hard for you to watch people say bad things about her. But it truly hurts some people to see others giving her a chance where they were denied one for years."

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boywhobelieves
2013-04-10 02:33 am UTC (link)

He got up and purposefully put space between them. “But they don’t have to watch it. They don’t need to have anything to do with her!” He kicked that the dirt, the anger he’d been burying wanting to boil over and out of him. For a few moments he tried to keep it down, to contain it and not lash out. Especially not at Emma. He loved her with all of his heart but he was so angry.

“She did horrible things. Really really bad ones to everyone, but everyone holding onto the anger just hurts them. It makes Grandma Belle mean to others. It makes Graham sad. Angry. It made Ruby leave us.” How did that help? He didn’t understand how any of that helped them. All of the emotions they held onto against Regina only made their hearts sick. Didn’t they see that?

Thunder rumbled in the distance as lightning flashed across the sky. The rain was coming down harder but he didn’t even notice it anymore. “They’re letting her still have power over them. All of you are. Why can’t you see that?!”

He kicked at the dirt again, stuffing his hands into his jacket as he glowered at the ground. “No one’s gonna heal if they keep letting her have power.”

And Regina couldn’t heal or be better if that happened either and even if everyone else didn’t care he did. For all the crap he’d had to deal with, he did know that she’d loved him as best as she could. And he’d loved her. He still did.

“Maybe love isn’t the most powerful thing of all.”

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lostfairytale
2013-04-10 02:44 am UTC (link)

She didn't let the hurt show on her face when he moved away. She'd have done the very same. But her baby was hurting and there was nothing she could do. Because he was right. They all acted like idiots where Regina was concerned. The hurt still bubbled over on a regular basis. They still lashed out, angry and bitter.

She didn't have magic answers. Not for this one. Moms were supposed to be able to handle this and she couldn't. The rain didn't phase her as it plastered her hair to her head. Her jacket only made a feeble effort at keeping the water out.

"Why didn't you just tell everyone that?" she asked softly, her words barely audible over the thunder. She should get them both inside but under the circumstances, she knew forcing him to leave before he was ready would only hurt him, not help. "No one wants to see you hurt, Henry. You're the most important thing to all of us." And it was true. Emma knew, without question, that Graham hadn't been lying. If it hadn't been for Henry defending her life, he would have made an attempt to kill Regina when she'd arrived. And Emma didn't know if she could fault him for that.

"Healing may be harder for some than others," she said gently, pushing her wet hair off of her face. "There's a lot of hurt pent up there. It's going to take time, kid. And sometimes, some harsh words may get said."

Graham had been right. Finding out the truth, seeing everyone's anger and fury...they'd broken Henry's spirit. And that had been the last thing she'd wanted for him. She'd longed for him to hold on to that as long as possible. "Love is powerful, baby. How could it break all those curses if it wasn't?"

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boywhobelieves
2013-04-10 02:53 am UTC (link)

“Because then you all still do it but you hide it!” he defended, knowing that wasn’t really a good excuse for having come out here without telling. But it was true. “You just filter it so Grace and I can’t see what you say online but we see it elsewhere. In your moods. When certain things get like mentioned. Your body language gives away a lot.”

He didn’t believe the part about love anymore. He tried to, he really wanted to, but it simply didn’t ring true with everything else. Belle had her love back and she was still angry and bitter at times. Graham was alive and happy but he still felt so much hatred for Regina because of all she had done to him. The woman before him still hated her for having kept her from her own mother for all of those years. And even Henry despised the fact that Regina had nearly convinced himself that he’d been crazy. Had harnessed inside of him a fear of apples that he wasn’t certain he’d ever get over.

So how could love win out when anger seemed to pull everyone back down whenever it wanted to? “It didn’t take away the pain though. It just made it more real.”

Without love then maybe there wouldn’t be any reason to feel pain.

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lostfairytale
2013-04-10 03:05 am UTC (link)

"You've never told everyone this. Not this way. I think maybe they'd listen to you. At least work to ignore each other when necessary." But how true was it? She'd been doing so well and yet when Kenzi said what she had, she couldn't help it. She'd snapped and been her usual sarcastic self all over again. "It's going to take a long time to put our city back together, Henry. It won't be overnight. And I know it hurts to watch, you more than anyone. But we would never do anything to hurt you if we could help it."

The kid had a point, though. Emma still carried a lot of hatred in her, and a good majority of it was aimed at Regina Mills. She didn't want that. It hurt. Most of the time, she was able to forget. When she watched a movie before bed with her family. When she tucked Henry in or snuggled her baby girl after feeding her. When she got a hug from her mom or her dad. When she curled up beside Graham before bed. Most of the time it was possible for her to forget that she'd grown up as an angry and cynical orphan of the foster care system.

But then moments happened. When Belle looked back on this years separated from Rumple or when she touched her boyfriend and had to watch his eyes to be sure he still saw her and not his past. When she felt distant from the mother she'd never known and her father still felt like a stranger. And she felt it bubble up inside of her all over again.

"Pain is a part of life, angel. We have to deal with it. It's how we handle it that matters. And sometimes, we handle it the wrong way. A lot of us have been. Maybe if Regina had been able to handle hers all those years ago, none of us would be where we are. But we can learn. We can try. Love helps that, not hurts it." Said the woman still learning what love even was and how to express it. But it was a start.

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boywhobelieves
2013-04-10 03:15 am UTC (link)

The rain mixed with tears at that point. As hard as he’d tried to keep them at bay, it was a useless battle and he let himself cry. “Happy endings are a lie,” Henry muttered, dropping down onto the bench beside Emma. “Because not everyone is gonna be happy. Not really. The wicked witch won’t be or she will be and that’ll make everyone else mad that she gets something okay even if it doesn’t take away from their happiness really.”

He didn’t move any closer, but did glance over at her. “I don’t want Aish to grow up with everyone still hurting. I don’t want everyone to keep hurting. But I don’t know how to help fix it, mom.”

And shouldn’t he be able to do that somehow? If not him, then who really? If he was the person who still connected all of them together then didn’t it fall to him? Without him around they’d have all been able to write of Regina or worse. But because he was around they had to tolerate her existence and it hurt them.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” Or what to think really. Everything was a gigantic mess and he was convinced that it was all his fault.

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lostfairytale
2013-04-10 03:23 am UTC (link)

This? Was being a mother. Because she physically felt her son's pain and she didn't know what to do about it. So when he sat back down, she ignored her instinct that told her not to, that he'd be angry, and wrapped her arms around her son, pulling him close and stroking his wet hair.

"Sweetheart," she murmured softly, "tell them what you told me. All of them. Regina, too. If they want to find any peace? They'll listen. They'll live and let live and maybe that's how we should have been doing it all along."

Gently she kissed the top of his head. "I love you, Henry. We all do. We never meant to hurt you, but I know you have been. You're too young to have to carry all of this on your shoulders." But he did. Every day. All the pressure of being the real savior of Storybrooke. Oh, it was on her to break the curse, fine. But Henry was the one who kept her sane. The one who made people see the truth. Their light, their hope in the dark.

And they'd all taken advantage of it.

"You're so much stronger than all of us, Henry. So very much smarter. And I'm so, so lucky to have you."

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boywhobelieves
2013-04-10 03:42 am UTC (link)

He hugged her tightly back, letting her pull him close and wrapped his arms around her. He pressed his face into her side, letting the walls down and shaking a little as he cried. Henry knew his mother was right, that he would have to say what he’d told her to everyone else. But that could wait for later. For now he needed his mother, he needed to be held and to hold her, and maybe he could cling to that last little bit of hope that things would work out okay for all of them.

They wouldn’t be perfect, but Henry had learned that nothing was ever that and if things were perfect then someone was probably pulling the strings. Because life had its ups and downs and one had to embrace all of that in order to truly live. Also had to forgive or at least move past old hurts so that you could truly live again otherwise they would hold you back from ever really doing anything.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” he murmured against her, knowing that had probably scared her more than anything and for that he truly was sorry. He could only imagine the fright she must have felt when he hadn’t shown up like usual and there had been no word. Especially in this place with Lucifer and countless monsters roaming about. There was no telling what could have happened to him and he knew he’d been rather lucky to have not been hurt.

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lostfairytale
2013-04-10 03:50 am UTC (link)

The wave of relief that rushed through her when he hugged her back was obvious. They were going to be okay. They had to be. She just didn't want him to push her away. He could be angry, furious even. Hurt, worried, anything. But she couldn't help him if he didn't let her in. The rest of the world could go jump off a cliff, so long as she had her little family.

"I was so worried about you," she admitted, pulling back to look into his big brown eyes. Neal's eyes. "I know you were upset. You needed some time to yourself. But let's make a deal, okay? You call me next time. We'll set a time and you can go off on your own. If you're not back by then, I'm coming looking." Because no one knew how much you needed to be alone sometimes like Emma did. Except maybe Neal.

"You're so much like your dad sometimes," she admitted quietly, stroking his wet cheeks with her thumb. "And that's a very, very good thing." Back then, she'd had that foolish optimism, that hope that Henry carried. Most people didn't know it. Most of them only saw the bitter and cynical woman who'd let the world fight against her. But for a brief moment she'd believed the world could be a beautiful place. And she'd spread that to Neal and, apparently in turn, to their beautiful son.

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boywhobelieves
2013-04-10 04:06 am UTC (link)

He nodded against her, listening quietly as she talked about his father. She so rarely did it and while he wanted to know everything there was to know--and not just from storybooks--he didn’t want to push. Henry could tell that his father was a sore subject for his mom. She’d loved him and lost him, lost them both really, and while she’d regained Henry and found love with Graham, that didn’t change the fact she’d still lost Neal.

“I promise,” he told her, and loosened his grip some but continued to hold onto her. “Can we just sit out here for a little while?”

He didn’t mind the cold too much and being out in the park meant he didn’t have to see everyone’s worried faces or the questions on everyone’s mind. He didn’t have to fear hearing accusations that he’d run off because of Regina or from Regina about Emma not being a fit mother. Later on he’d deal with all of that...or just fall asleep in his mom’s bed with Aislinn curled up between them. He was hoping for the latter.

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lostfairytale
2013-04-11 07:29 pm UTC (link)

They really shouldn't. The storm would only get closer, and she'd probably be considered an unfit mother for letting him be out in this weather. But it was the pleading in his voice and the fact that he was willingly still holding her that made her nod. "Yeah, sweetie, we can. Just for a bit."

Because she couldn't protect him from life as a fictional character, or life as Regina Mills' adopted son. But she could save him from a little rain and having to face life in the mansion they'd found themselves in. She could tuck him into bed next to his sister and watch them sleeping and never let anyone hurt them and that? Well, wasn't that all anyone could ask of her? If that made her a terrible mother, then so be it. But she dared anyone to try and do it better.

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