Right now he wasn't sure who he was more upset with, himself or Robin. This was one of those perfect examples of loving and hating the man all at once that he'd spoken of in the barn that night they all thought they were going to die. How he wished he could lie to him sometimes, how he wished he could be like the others and not say every little thing on his mind. Robin might not have left that night, he might not have spent it in tears after he did. He might have spared them both further pain and simply gone on about the music as he should have in the first place. He'd been so stupidly proud of himself for such a little accomplishment it was ridiculous, but now that feeling had long since past and he was left with only one of sickening sadness.
The weather didn't much phase him either. He didn't care for storms, but this one hadn't brought thunder or lightning so at least there was something to be grateful for that night. Even in the forest he'd hated such things. Not because of the cold, but the noise bothered him. It always had. Robin had always been there to distract him from it so he wouldn't be afraid, but now he wasn't. Now he was in that weather because maybe Much had scared him. He hated himself for it. He wanted to go comfort him, but Robin wasn't the sort that would want it.
In the Holy Land whenever Robin got that way, they would stay up together. Much would clean the weaponry and Robin would brood. But they would be together. Here? Things were so much more complicated, it was hard for him to keep up at times.
It was still no excuse, but he couldn't lie to Robin. He'd been asked directly and whether actual order or not, Much still saw it as one. He was unable to lie. Robin knew it. He could lie to everyone else albiet not well anyway, but Robin there wasn't even that little margin when he got that tone that left no room for argument, or gave him that look that did the same.
Much hadn't been counting on company that night, fortunately by the time Marian made her presence known his tears had stopped. He was left with reddened eyes and an exhausted face that left him feeling numb to the world until someone touched him. He tensed at first. Every muscle tightened up and he looked over at the figure in the darkness beside him. "Lady Marian." He managed once he had control of his voice. He wanted to tell her of the stupid things he'd done, of the stupid thing he'd said. But he promised Robin and now could not. She belonged with him, she could make him feel better and Much rarely could in times like these. The formal titles slipped still on occasion when he was upset or stressed. "Didn't want to." He said quietly, not meeting her eyes.