Damn it she really didn't want to go into her past. But he wasn't even looking at her now and that bothered Ruby more than she was willing to actually say to Sam. He could joke about her as a Sunday School Teacher but that was the least of her sins. She sighed slightly and began to pace. He wasn't the only one that could pace when he was angry, or worried, in this case it was worried.
"No relationships. I've never been in love before you but...in the 18th century I had a job. Lasted...three maybe four years. This guy...he was some religious bigshot, saw things. He was a powerful Psychic and since he had faith it, tilted his acsess upstairs a little bit. Like Anna only human I guess, only he didn't hear, he saw. Visions or whatever. I possessed his wife. I was essentially his wife, with all that entailed for all that time while Hell got the scoop on what he was seeing. I'm not proud of it. I'm not like that anymore if I ever was. It was just something I had to do to stay on top. You said no to an order. You went back on the rack until you said yes. Back to Alastair. After a few times you learn how important the pecking order is downstairs. His name was Fredrick and he believed his wife to be barren until the day he died. Three years Sam, and she was a living breathing woman. She saw the whole thing, lived it. Thats not the only..."
Ruby sank back into her couch finally looking at her hands, this time not willing to look at Sam at all. Sure she'd opened this can of worms but had she wanted it to get to this. It wasn't a job she had ever been ashamed of, but right now, maybe she was. Actually ashamed of one of Azazel's orders to her. It felt wrong. It felt really really wrong.
"Thats not the only time sex has come into the whole temptress gig. Never hopped out of a pregnant woman Sam. I'd know. We feel everything the meatsuit is, every beat of the heart every scream inside her own mind. Sure we put them down eventually but another conciousness. Yeah Sam. I'd know. You happy now."
She stood again walking to the fridge needing a beer of her own. No not beer, she needed wine, whiskey, bourbon. Something strong.
"I'll understand if you want to go, think about all this or whatever"