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Emma Swan finally found her fairytale ([info]lostfairytale) wrote in [info]wariscoming,
@ 2013-01-02 16:33:00

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Entry tags:emma swan, snow white/mary margaret

Who: Emma and Aislinn (Open to anyone in Casa de Storybrooke, but it stands as a narrative)
What: Middle of the night ponderings, mostly just some feels and fluff
When: Late Tuesday night into Wednesday morning
Where: Aislinn's nursery



Emma had never been a sound sleeper. Her childhood hadn't exactly made it safe to be one. Falling asleep around the wrong people could be dangerous. Bullies picked on you, the more cruel kids would beat you up, and that was to say nothing for what some of the adults might do. So she learned at a young age to sleep carefully, always ready to spring awake if needed. It had eased up over time, but Lawrence had brought it back with a vengeance. First just the general feeling of displacement, then the distrust that life with Jim had given her, and then finally, having Henry. He was ten, hardly a baby, but who knew when he might need her? Or worse, if something happened to him, she'd need to be ready.

So the baby monitor by her bed was practically like a fire alarm for how quickly she'd wake when she heard her daughter's cries. In a typically Emma fashion, she'd practically arranged it when she'd first moved in with Zee that Henry and the baby would both have rooms closest to hers. Not so much as a consideration to others, because at the time it had only been her, Henry and Eddie living with Zee. No, she wanted to be as capable of taking care of her children as possible. The quicker she could get to them, the safer she felt. So she could easily throw a sweatshirt on top of her tank top and make her way to the next room over before anyone in the house could be too badly disturbed.

She entered the room quietly, but she couldn't help the bright grin that filled her face as she looked at the tiny baby. Even if the baby was wrinkle faced and angry at whatever it was that had pulled her from her sleep. "Hi there, beautiful," Emma murmured, the sweetly gentle tone coming as a surprise to even her. If having Henry around had changed her drastically, having Aislinn had turned her into an entirely different person. Henry was proof enough that she loved being a mother. It had taken time to adjust, but she couldn't deny how deeply in love she'd fallen with her little boy. Hers and Neal's. She'd been so angry for so long, and Henry had helped to heal that.

And she'd be lying if she said that Aislinn hadn't helped so much of the hurt in her life that had been caused by her father. Oh, Emma was willing to accept responsibility. He hadn't done anything to force her to do anything. She knew she'd made her choices on her own and she'd be paying for them forever in many ways. But if anything good had come out of it, it was this baby. This beautiful child who looked so much like her big brother had before they'd taken him away and given him to that horrible woman.

She picked the baby up, cradling her in her arms and murmuring soft little nothings as she set about their usual three in the morning routine. Changing her, bundling her back up in a soft warm blanket, and finally settling in a rocker in the corner of the nursery to feed her. If asked, she wouldn't even be able to tell anyone what she'd been saying to the baby. Silly little stories about a princess (named Aislinn, most certainly) and a prince (obviously named Henry) who set off on adventures to save their kingdom. None of that waiting around for someone to save Princess Aislinn, not at all.

Looking down, she studied her daughter's features as she talked. The button nose, the heart shaped mouth, rounded little cheeks. It didn't really surprise her that she and Henry looked alike. If she thought about it, which she so desperately tried not to, Neal and Jim looked surprisingly alike, too. If Neal had been more polished and put together, or if Jim hadn't risen above the Dublin street kid... Well. Nothing she really wanted to think about. Clearly she had a type, was all. Though that show, that stupid show that she couldn't seem to make herself give up, had shown her that it wasn't Neal who'd hurt her after all, and what did that say for the last ten years?

All of it, everything from her arrest and Henry's birth to the last several months in Lawrence, Kansas had led up to this moment. Did she have regrets? Of course she did, she was only human. Would she take any of it back? No, not really. Looking down into her baby girl's pretty blue eyes, she knew every single decision she'd made had brought her to this point. If she hadn't become the cold, cynical woman she'd been, she wouldn't have been a challenge for Jim. If he hadn't pursued, she would've easily let him fall to the side. And for all the hell loving him had brought her, it had also given her this. A baby of her own, one no one could take from her. Because she'd fight like hell to make sure it stayed that way.

She had a family now. All the hurt, the anger, the fear. She'd worked so hard to put up those walls and yet they'd been knocked down, and rather spectacularly. The fact that the house was so full, despite it's vast size, said a lot for that. People she loved and cared about, some who she was still getting to know but already worried over. Her own flesh and blood in the form of the mother who'd lost her as a baby and the two children who'd quickly come to mean everything to her.

"You're a very special little girl, you know," she told Aislinn, as the baby finished her dinner. She lifted her to her shoulder, gently rubbing her back rather than that basically irritating thumping some mothers did. Pulling herself to her feet, she grabbed a burp cloth from the changing table before they had a repeat of an incident that had played out at least three times since bringing her baby girl home. "You have a whole lot of people who love you already, and you just got here. So did I, but I didn't know that. You will. I'll make sure of it. Nothing's going to take you from me. Mom and I are both going to get to take care of you, and all the other people who love you."

Sometimes she wondered how much she'd tell Aislinn and when. Her own history, the crossing from the fairy tale world to Maine, life in Boston, Portland, Nashville, Tallahassee, New York, and finally Boston again. And Aislinn's history. If she'd thought telling Henry the truth about his father would be difficult, what was she supposed to tell her daughter? And the people of Storybrooke hadn't known Neal and how badly he'd hurt her. Lawrence knew Jim Moriarty. No one who'd encountered him would ever forget him. She could hide it forever but how long before someone else spilled all the sordid details?

Sighing, she bounced her daughter gently, smiling as she gave a rather impressive little burp. "Your grandfather would be so proud," she teased, kissing the top of the baby's head. If only he'd ever get to meet her. Emma wasn't stupid, she knew her mother missed her father desperately. After all, being the child conceived of true love meant there was true love to be had. Maybe if James were here, he'd be able to talk some sense into Snow regarding the crazy befriending of Regina. Maybe.

She should've put the baby back in her cradle and let her sleep, but she was gripped with that feeling she sometimes got. That fear that if she did, she wouldn't see her again. Maybe it came from her own horrible past, maybe it came from the tightening in her chest every time she thought about them taking Henry from her, or maybe it was paranoia stemmed from the events of Lawrence. But rather than put the baby back down, she simply kept holding her, making little circles around the room and humming softly.

For all the hell in her life, things seemed to finally be clicking into place.



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[info]ex_gavemepau32
2013-01-03 04:01 am UTC (link)
Snow sat in her room with the door open. Emma's footfalls and soft murmurs doing more than their fair share to soothe her. She loved this time of night. Very rarely was anyone ever awake. Years of grading homework trained her body to keep long hours and little sleep. Years on the run did much the same.

And now there was a baby. Her baby had another baby. A beautiful, perfect, headstrong little girl and even if Emma didn't want to acknowledge it that beauty and will came from her and no one else. Happiness was where you found it.

Right at that moment, Snow's happiness was in a nursery down the hall and hopefully asleep in his own bedroom, though with Henry it was difficult to tell.

She gave Emma time alone with Aislinn, more than content to sit and listen to the silly nonsense that drifted down the hall, but when Emma didn't stop pacing, Snow moved.

The hall was dark but the dim light of the nursery guided her way and she paused at the door, heart clenching.

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[info]lostfairytale
2013-01-03 04:18 am UTC (link)
Years of always being prepared alerted Emma to footsteps in the hallway. Instinctively, despite knowing how well protected the house was, she gripped the baby just a little bit tighter. Would that feeling ever fade? She doubted it. She knew Snow still worried over her, and Emma was nearly thirty. After some of the things that family had seen, on both sides of the fairy tale world and also in Lawrence, it was to be expected, she supposed.

Speaking of Snow... Emma looked surprised but smiled just the same. "What are you doing up?" she asked, worried she'd woken the whole house. Well, they all knew they were living with a newborn, and she never made anyone else get up with her. Besides, it was a huge house, and now that Eddie had been taken by the Seal it was just them. They were welcome to find another room if the baby bothered them.

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[info]ex_gavemepau32
2013-01-03 04:27 am UTC (link)
"I never fell asleep." Snow didn't move from her perch at the door, merely smiled in return. Emma was going to be a wonderful mother, not perfect, who was? But wonderful. It was obvious in every single interaction Snow caught.

And how much of it stemmed from Emma's need to provide the childhood she never got made her ache in a long familiar way.

She couldn't be sure, but she didn't think Aislinn was even awake any longer.

"I could ask the same about you."

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[info]lostfairytale
2013-01-03 05:09 am UTC (link)
No, Aislinn wasn't awake. The baby had settled into that little breathy sigh she did when she was sleeping that made Emma's heart melt every time. Still, as an answer to Snow's question, she nodded down to the little bundle against her shoulder.

As much as she worried over her children, Emma worried just as much over her own mother. Long before she was Snow White, Emma's mother who'd given her up to give her the best chance, she was Mary Margaret Blanchard, Emma's one true friend in a crazy world she didn't quite understand. She'd considered the woman family long before finding out she really was. She wasn't going to let anything hurt her if she could help it.

So the whole middle of the night, still not asleep thing? Not cool with her. "One of us has a baby to nurse. I have a reason for being up in the middle of the night."

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[info]ex_gavemepau32
2013-01-03 06:15 pm UTC (link)
"One of us has a daughter who hasn't had a good night's sleep since coming home from the hospital. You don't have to do this all yourself."

Snow had told Ella much the same thing. But Alex was older now. She was starting to keep a routine. Aislinn was still much too tiny for that. No one had to do anything alone here. There wasn't anything to prove.

"I've never slept well, Emma. I'm fine."

And she thought she might be. They had fought so hard and long for a happy ever after and this? This might be what it was for her. A home filled with almost everyone she held dear. It could be enough.

There was every possibility it would have to be.

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