"The first few months you were gone, all I could think was how hurt I was that you'd left. But the longer you were there..." She hesitated. She didn't really want him to know how scared she'd been, given the circumstances that had brought him back to her. When he'd returned, she wasn't waiting for him, which had likely been what he'd expected. Or maybe he had planned on her moving on. It was so hard to tell with him sometimes. "The longer you were there, the more certain I was that you were going to die. I didn't know how or why and it isn't like I'd ever been there or had anything to compare it to. But that made it worse. More scenarios to consider."
And then Locksley had been given over to Gisborne and the constant stream of men wanting her hand had begun and she'd tried so desperately to put the charming boy with the impish little grin out of her head. And had never been able to. She'd been a fool to think she could.
"I know this is hard," she told him, giving his hand a squeeze. "I'm not blind to your pain, you know. But I sometimes think you aren't even grateful you survived. And I don't think I would've been able to manage if you were gone again."