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Tweak says, "I give you dancing flower."

Elena Gilbert is a hero for the lost cause (naturaldisaster) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2012-11-14 10:25:00

Entry tags:

elena gilbert, tahiri veila

Who: Elena Gilbert and Tahiri Veila
What: Because Elena is incapable of not helping someone, no matter what it means to her own well being
When: Afternoon of 14 November 2012
Where: Uh, wherever Tahiri is to... wherever. Specifics, who needs specifics?
Warnings: Feels. I expect feels. And anger probably. Everything else TBA
Status: Thread | Incomplete

This was stupid. Elena knew that. What normal person goes out to find the very bitter and angry girlfriend of their boyfriend? Not that it actually mattered. Anakin was gone. He'd been sent back two and a half months ago. Back to his death. And Tahiri was obviously from a point long after his death. She wasn't the girl who had been here before. The fact that she looked like Rose just made it even more awkward. But if there was one thing that could be said about Elena, it was that she had a need to help people. She already knew that it was because she couldn't help herself. She wanted to help because if she helped others, she wouldn't think about her own pain. She locked it away, never let it out, because she didn't want people to worry. She just.. wanted them to be okay. Elena Gilbert, savior of the cursed and damned.

But this? This wasn't something she had anticipated. Taking in Kal because no one would give him a chance? Sure. So what if it had been the day after Anakin had been sent back to his death? That she had taken her night of dancing to try and ignore, and then jumped right into saving people from themselves? She had always claimed that she wouldn't be one of those girls who let their lives pass them by because of a boy. Only instead of properly dealing, Elena just locked it all away and threw herself into helping others. Lawrence tended to help with that, something happened and she'd be helping her friends. Not that the ghosts helped, she'd been devastated by what she had learned but she had locked that away as well. Because Elphie had needed her, Rose.. she needed to be strong and so she would be.

Tahiri showing up, though? All of Elena's well crafted walls to avoid thinking about the Jedi Knight she'd had to go and fall in love with had come down. And she couldn't even be a normal teenager, petty and angry. It wasn't Tahiri's fault that she had shown up here, it wasn't Tahiri's fault he had been sent back. It was the Seal. Always the Seal. And Anakin would want her to help Tahiri because he wouldn't trust Jacen to. Because she wouldn't trust Jacen to as was obvious by her comments. Anyone in Lawrence could do this, but Elena still would end up doing it. Because Elena couldn't turn off her compassion and empathy. She wanted to help even if she didn't know how to help. Katherine's comment was annoying but true. Elena wanted to help, so she'd take what she was given and figure out the best way to do so, say what was needed. But someone needed to help Tahiri... And well, why not the reckless teen who took in all the dangerous strays?

Did she want to get hurt by someone? No. Elena wanted to survive. She still believed that she should have died with her parents, but she hadn't. And Jeremy was here, so she had to stay alive for his sake. Elijah was a risk and she knew that, but she also trusted him as he had his honor. So long as Klaus didn't show up... Kal was a risk and she was worried about him. She knew he didn't sleep, it seemed as though the house of misfits was growing to become a house of insomniacs. Maybe that belief led her to do reckless things, but she really did want to help. It was a driving force in all Elena did.

Finally arriving where Tahiri had told her, Elena took a breath. She knew she couldn't hide things, Anakin had known she was hurting even when she had convinced herself that she was fine. It was pointless. But that was also the point. She had told Tahiri she would meet her so that she could determine for herself if Elena was telling the truth. Because Elena knew she'd be able to know through the Force. And well, in terms of wanting to help and the situation, Elena was telling the truth. It was when it got to her personal feelings where the well crafter words and lies came into play to keep from upsetting people and remaining strong.

"Tahiri?"

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hrosha_gul
2012-11-14 10:28 pm UTC (link)

Mere hours ago Tahiri Veila had been sitting in a cell and wondering what was to become of her. She had surrendered to Ben Skywalker, too tired to keep fighting any more. Too broken after being so utterly betrayed by the man she had all but worshiped. And even then, Ben had offered her freedom, had offered to lie for her.

But it was lies upon lies that had twisted her life into what it had become and they were yet another thing Tahiri was tired of. She had handed herself over to the Council for judgment, sat and waited as Caedus did battle with his twin sister. When he had died, she had felt it, felt that moment when she just knew her Master was gone. The connection they had had was deeper than words could truly define, and she could feel the absence. It added to the general emptiness inside her, even after everything he had done to her.

And now, apparently, she was in this new world, this strange place where time and rules seemingly had no meaning. The dead were alive (but not Anakin, still not Anakin and how cruel was that?) and Caedus was Jacen once more. And married to his love. Tahiri wanted to be happy for them, but deep down she wondered if she was capable of feeling that any more. Not to mention the part of her that wanted to scream that it was not fair, that he had done so much and yet still found himself with Tenel Ka, while Tahiri herself was alone.

Well, not alone. For the moment. This young girl, this stranger to her, who offered to help someone she didn't know. Tahiri could have been anyone, a murderer even. Which she was. Though all the murders she had committed had been necessary. Weren't they? She didn't know any more.

At the sound of her name she turned to face the girl, Elena she reminded herself. Her name was Elena. And she was younger than Tahiri herself. Not that youth meant anything really. Still, she tried to smile, though it was little more than a tiny twitch of her lips before her expression became blank once more.

"Elena, I assume." Perhaps it was rude of her, but she reached out with the Force anyway, trying to get a sense of this girl she didn't understand. And felt the conflicted swirl of emotions within her. It made the faintest of frowns appear on her face. "You didn't need to come here. Why did you?"

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naturaldisaster
2012-11-14 10:57 pm UTC (link)

Conflicted was one word for it. It was her nature to help versus what most in her position would do. She had seen how people could get here, when the significant other of their now partner showed up. Petty. Hateful. It was high school drama. But Elena's life had been so far from normal ever since her parents died. And so her natural empathy and compassion took over. So many had been lost in the year or so that had transpired back home. So much had happened in Lawrence. Two lives, knowing her future because of Jeremy and Caroline. Was she better off here? Sometimes she felt that way, but then the Seal threw a curve ball like this and Elena wasn't so certain.

Then again, that probably had to do with the fact that Elena didn't let herself process things. She kept soldiering on because sometimes it was the only thing she knew how to do. She could lie to herself and make it seem as though she was fine, convince herself and that had always managed to keep concerns from being voiced. But the frown Tahiri wore despite the initial blank expression, it was reminiscent of Anakin, of when he would know she was hiding something, conflicted, but not wanting to talk about it. She hadn't been prepared for that. She didn't talk to most of his family lately. Oh sure, her and Mara had been drugged up on pain medications during the ghosts visits, Luke there as well, but she didn't know what they knew in terms of her. She'd been pulling away and throwing herself into other worries. But Rose was right. She couldn't always run.

"That would be me." Folding her hair behind her ear, Elena simply shrugged at the question. Why did she come when she didn't have to? When any other person could? She'd been the first to offer, but that didn't mean anything. And she had promised to be truthful. That was the point, right? To prove that she was being honest in everything she had said. In knowing that Tahiri would know if she were deceiving her. She didn't know much about what had happened. Just that Jacen had manipulated her and that it had put a strain between the brothers, but that they had been working on it.

"II didn't need to, but I meant it when I said I just wanted to help. I've been here long enough to know the area, to know the dangers. I know how it feels to show up here with no warning. And I said I would, didn't I? That I would let you determine the truth of my words and what better way than in person?"

And it was all truth. There was no need to go into her personal inner turmoil. That would be too much for both of them. They had the misfortune of loving the same person, only for Tahiri, he was dead and had been for years, while Elena was still coming to terms with that fact. That someone else she loved was dead. That he was always going to end up dead the second he got sent back. One more person she had lost, but at least he hadn't gotten screwed up because of her. Small blessings or something like that.

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hrosha_gul
2012-11-20 07:58 pm UTC (link)

Tahiri didn't claim to understand why Elena did the things she did. But then, the sort-of Sith didn't understand much about anyone any more. All the lies, all the manipulations, her ability to know what drove anyone had been called into question.

Once upon a time, she would have been gentle about reading another person, would have hesitated, or given them the benefit of the doubt, or something. More recently, she would have been subtle about it, done things in her own time and without anyone being any the wiser. But those days were over. Elena seemed to understand what being a Force user meant, seemed to have a little idea what she was getting herself into, so Tahiri simply went with it. Simply stared at the younger girl, her arms folded and still with that faint frown as she reached out through the Force. Maybe the other girl could have sensed it, maybe not, Tahiri didn't care. All she wanted to know was if she was being lied to.

You know, again.

But she only sensed honesty from Elena. Which just made her frown deepen.

"You are telling the truth." The blonde was frustrated in a way, and she tightened her arms around herself, almost defensively.

"But why? Why would you want to help? There's nothing in it for you." People just didn't do things without ulterior motives. It simply didn't happen. Even the Jedi, those who liked to claim they were above such things, everything they did was because they wanted something. The Sith were just honest enough to admit it.

"I don't like owning favors," she added, abruptly. "Not without knowing the price first."

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naturaldisaster
2012-11-20 10:14 pm UTC (link)

If anyone were to ask why Elena did what she did, the general consensus would be to shrug. Or to claim she was insane. Or whatever else those who knew her could come up with. In the end though, it was Elena. The girl who loved too recklessly, too deeply, who lost so many and clung to the need to help people because, just like she saved those who no one else might give a chance to, she didn't know how to help herself. She didn't know how to ask for help. She didn't know how to admit to being upset and in pain. She had locked that part away when she had needed to take care of Jeremy following the death of their parents. Lost that ability when everything around her had started going insane and she couldn't tell what was up anymore, so she pretended she knew what was going on in the case that one day, she would.

As was her normal reaction when in the face of danger, Elena didn't flinch or balk when Tahiri just stared at her. She had faced down Originals, had been sacrificed by Klaus only to be saved by John and Bonnie. By a spell. She had faced a homicidal Elphie, broken by Lucifer. Had dealt with potential psychopaths, had a couple living with her. So if Tahiri didn't want to be subtle about this, so what? Elena already knew it was coming. She had stated as much before she showed up, the reasoning, which meant she had an understanding of how that happened.

The frustration of Elena being truthful was almost amusing. But it was also just depressing. That this woman before her, once a girl like Elena had been, only saw darkness in people. Only knew betrayal and manipulation. Was this her future? Could Elena end up like this? Like Katherine? Unwilling to believe in the good of people because of being hurt too much?

"I won't ask you any favors. I would rather face things on my own terms and do things myself so as to save others the pain and loss."

Which was also true. How often did her friends deny her that? How often did they do things without her asking? Elena didn't ask for people to do the things they did for her. They just did them. She had no plans at all to ask a favor of Tahiri. Not in this.

"And you're right, there is absolutely nothing in this for me, there's nothing I can gain from helping you beyond knowing that I helped and got you somewhere safe if you're willing to let me."

The only thing that could come from this for Elena was heartbreak, facing what she had been trying to ignore in terms of losing Anakin. But that wasn't something she really wanted to face. It wasn't something she wanted to gain. And Katherine was right, that Elena calculated the best way to help by what she saw so that she could help. So being completely upfront and honest was how she was going to do this.

"Like I said. I want to help because I've been there. Confused. Not knowing what was happening, feeling I need to be somewhere else. I want to help because I just... I do. It's who I am. Maybe it's stupid and reckless and will get me killed, I don't know. But I want to help. Be it to answer questions, get you settled, whatever. I'm sorry that you've been lied to and hurt and manipulated and can't seem to believe that some people are willing to help with no expectations, but that's all I want to do."

Elena well knew how everyone viewed her helping habits. Because it rarely was the 'safe' people Elena decided to help. It was the people who could kill her. Who had hurt her. She clung desperately to her friends and felt the need to help. If there was one thing Elena still knew about herself, it was that. It was why she knew the risks involved. Because it was the one thing she could be certain of when everything else was falling down around her.

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