Jacen had to admit a slight tinge of jealousy at the simplicity of the love shared with Rumplestiltskin and the girl he loved. This girl who loved him in spite of the darkness and all he’d done. Oh he knew Tenel Ka loved him. But sometimes, just sometimes, he wondered why? Why hadn’t she run for the hills. She didn’t defend the things he did, he didn’t expect that of her. But nor did she yet understand. “You can’t always keep the darkness from touching them I suppose. But if you can keep her, if you can have her in your life then you must. Having them there keeps us sane. Keeps us focused I suppose.” Jacen didn’t miss the tone. Of course he didn’t. But nor was he about to push where he was not wanted. Some things people just had no wish to talk about. And this he understood
The power could be taken so easily from the man but only with his death. Still, quite willing to discuss it, he couldn’t help but think. Such an easy thing, to die. One dagger. Though perhaps it was not here. Perhaps it was in his land. Far from them and so he could talk about it easily enough. And he had taken the power accidentally. Not exactly what Jacen himself had done but oh he could see how easily one could fall to something like that. “Then keeping that dagger close to you is both dangerous and needed. Is it known? What this dagger can do to you?” It wouldn’t have been a wise more to tell anyone of course but secrets never stayed hidden as long as one might want. Jacen knew that very well.
“Your apprentices, did you tell them of the price or were they simply useful. I cannot deny mine was useful. I broke her and rebuilt her simply because I needed someone on my side. And she trusted me enough that it was easy to do, promises of love lost, promises of a better future so the hell we suffered wouldn’t occur again and she was mine. In every way possible and more besides.” He wasn’t proud of what he’d done. Not anymore. But he still understood it, and in many ways would likely do the same thing again. Price paid and all. Maybe peace, as well as magic, came with a price. Power definitely did.
“If the ends justify the means I suppose you pay the price knowingly, willingly. And you taught your apprentices as I taught mine knowing what it would mean for their lives I suppose.” Weight on his shoulders. Oh he’d had it from the moment he came into the world. A Solo Twin. A young Jedi in training. A Knight but never a Master, questioning, finding balance, finding power in the Force, fearing it and running from it. Being its servant and its master. Being both teacher and student, apprentice and Sith Lord. Being neither, being both. Being whatever lay in between. Being a gardener.
“Yes I can sense life. The weak, the strong. Those who hide in the shadows and take and those who walk in the light and like to pretend they give. Nothing is simple and yet in some ways everything is. It’s curious when you think about it. I suppose it makes sense that we meet now, that you see me for what I do, who I am. You have a great deal of power but you don’t...show it often. Is that for your love or do you just prefer that people not know its extent?”