How could someone put into words something that they did not understand even if it had indeed happened to them? Svetlana had tried so hard to avoid it when she realized just what was happening, yet she hadn’t been able to. She hadn’t even realized she had let him into her heart, was willing to open up to him, until she said things without even thinking it, things she never even had been able to tell Dmitri. But if Svetlana were willing to open up about her marriage even in the vague terms while trying to get Helena to listen, it was important to listen. Helena was right that Svetlana didn’t just say things, there was always a purpose. Especially in situations like this. And as she had opened up in her own way about her own marriage? There was definitely a point.
Had Svetlana put her own walls up intentionally? Yes and no. It was how she was raised. Erik taught her early on to hold things in. To not seek out help. It was familiar and comforting and able to guard herself. When she felt those walls coming down, it terrified her, it hurt, so she tried to keep them up. But try as she might, she couldn’t keep them up because of Anatoly. Which meant that it didn’t matter if the walls were intentional or not. Because they would come down on their own, no matter the fight to keep them up in some vain attempt of self preservation. Seeing Helena’s features soften at the mention of Emily was a good thing. It meant that she was at least able to see the good in her life, to know that she was needed in her daughter’s life. It meant that Helena wouldn’t let herself shut down completely. As such, the blond gave a slight nod of acknowledgment, still waiting for the rebuttal. And there it was.
Okay, so, it wasn’t so much a rebuttal so much as a statement of facts. It explained why she viewed things the way she did, but there was always a counter argument. There was always a countering move. But first, it was letting Helena get everything out about what had happened with Irene, with previous lovers, the ones she had truly fallen for and what they had in common. As she listened, the blond folded some hair behind her ear, remaining silent, critical in her observations on both body language as well as the words used.
“Then process her death, find a way to. Yes, she underestimated you. She did not understand. But you still had a connection that needs to be processed, grieved... You still were able to get something from that relationship despite the way it ended.”
That was the first step.
“Nor do you need to get your hopes up, that is only asking for pain.” Well, no one said Svetlana was an optimist. She was extremely cynical in terms of her views on people. She still believed in what she always had, that no one was always there, no one was completely on someone else’s side. “But just because you do not get your hopes up does not mean you shut the door on something. If it happens, then take it, live it.”
It wasn’t as if Svetlana could speak about people loving someone for all of them, she had... Anatoly. She had a false relationship and ones she entered just for one date to get people to leave her alone in her desire to avoid pain. But just because they were atypical did not mean that Svetlana could not see how other relationships worked.