The theatre had undoubtedly been her saving grace and Marguerite knew that. She knew that had she not found that outlet, she would have had a lot more difficult time making sense of this world, of finding something to hold onto. She had also been certain of Percy's death and needed the distraction and the thing to help her move on with her life as he would have wanted and theatre didn't change. Not really. The technology and content, sure. But in the end, it was a script and performing. So as Percy admitted to still trying to figure out where he could fit into this world, Marguerite merely nodded.
What could he do? She had never understood the life of the nobility even when she had lived it. She had felt bored and trapped and had no one to confide to. What did one do with that sort of life that they could do here as well? She knew that Percy ran his own finances, and she knew that he could lead his men, help them survive. But how did that translate here? There was theatre work but she doubted that would work.
"Well, we will find something then."
And they would. They just had to figure how what he wanted to do and go from there. Smiling faintly at the hand squeeze as well as the assertion that they would not be helpless and would help, Marguerite was about to pulled her hands away when he asked about why she would automatically suggest selling herself. Well, not so much that she would do but that it was something she would even consider as a means to make money.
"How do you think Armand and I managed to survive?"
She looked at her husband curiously. They had never really discussed how she and Armand had lived, he had never asked once he had learned that they had been orphaned and raised one another, which was why they were so close. She would not have mentioned this part of her past then, afraid he'd leave her, but the rest?
"Percy.... we survived off of table scraps and odd end jobs at different inns for five years but that was unstable at best and after a time, people stop taking pity on us when they have their own families that need what little food they have at the time. I had to find a way to provide and give Armand a more stable life. One where I had control of my own life and his and was not reliant on someone who did not see us as people." Because she could have tried to find a maid job for a nobleman, but that would never have worked. Marguerite was too proud for that even at fifteen and she wasn't about to lose Armand. And it showed in her voice. As open as she was to different classes, there was still the bitter taste of being judged for things beyond her control that was common in her life before she became an actress.
"It was the most logical choice for me, to keep us together and in charge of our own lives."
Shrugging, Marguerite pulled away to get some water for herself and Percy. She knew that the men who bought her never saw her as a person, but she only had to rely on them for money, not for shelter and food and looking after Armand as well. She didn't think much about it, the reasoning made sense and she had done what she felt was right, to protect her brother and keep them together. She didn't feel shame or regret for her decision. She just had known, or thought she had known, that Percy's English sensibilities would have him turn her away if he had known. And then the threat from Chauvelin and knowing he'd go to Armand because of those same sensibilities and not wanting to ask her...
"But really, I have no inclination to go back to that life. I much prefer sharing my bed with you alone."
And that was that. And really, she didn't even feel the need to hold back, but Percy had never asked and so she had never told, instead learning about his life, them discussing the things that interested them, that they were passionate about. There had been so many long talks in those six weeks of romance and much had been discussed, but perhaps not the basis of their differences.