"I dunno," he muttered honestly, eyes locked on the ground. "Probably not, if we're honest," his eyes slowly slid up to her face again. How had the pair of them ever gotten into his mess? And more importantly, was there a way out? "But who likes being honest?" A tiny tug at the corners of his lips brought the slightest smirk to his lips. Humor, no matter how good or bad nor in good taste or not, was his go-to defense mechanism for most situations. And this situation? It was one he felt he needed the most protection in.
"Thing is, I'll always love you, Buffy, nothing's ever gonna change that," he pointed out, shrugging slightly. "But, I...I don't know what would-- could....might... happen if I lose that again." a final drag off his cigarette and then he tossed it to the ground and folded his arms across his chest to hide the slight tremble in his hand at the idea. His love for Buffy was, much like all of his past experiences with love, bordering on obsession and all-consuming. If they tried again...and she rejected him...again... The idea wasn't something he even wanted to consider. Love, and more specifically loss of love, could be a very powerful motivator and the last thing he needed was the thing that could push him over the edge he would always be walking on.