Who: Connor Temple and Nick Cutter What: A pep talk and some self-esteem from the father figure When: Immediately after this Where: Connor's flat Warnings: Cuteness and sadness all in one post. Totally deserves a warning
He'd let her down. He'd sworn to protect her, now more than ever, and he'd failed her.
The flat was cleaned up now, all signs of the fight put back where they belonged. The salt line had been redrawn and more added to it and Stevie was now in his kennel, looking for all the world like a puppy who'd been scolded by its master. And Abby was in their room...when had he started thinking of it as theirs? He walked to the door, leaning in the doorframe at her. At some point she'd finally dozed off, though she looked anything but peaceful. Rex was curled up at her side, occasionally lifting his little head to look around, as if making sure Mum was still all right and the bad energy that had hurt her was gone.
Connor's face darkened, taking in her appearance and knowing how badly she could have been hurt. What if he'd killed her? Could he do that? Dick seemed to think his would. Anna's was outright tormenting her. And he'd read other accounts on the boards of people being genuinely terrified of theirs killing them. Was it possible? If one got killed by a ghost...did it count? Or would this be like some of the other things the Seal did? He'd lose her but get her back?
It hurt too much to think about and he closed his eyes. They didn't open again until he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. By being just outside the salt line, the man he loved more than he'd ever loved his own father was able to be with him. And it helped. Even if he felt like he'd failed him, too.
"She's fine," the soft Scottish brogue murmured and Connor looked up into patient blue eyes. Cutter always had that way of looking at him that made him feel so much more important than he actually was. He'd been the first person to actually make him feel smart. Oh, he'd known he was, honestly. Of course he was. His grades were impeccable, his test scores were off the charts, and he'd been offered to move up a grade level almost every year of school before they just gave up trying. He was inventing at five years old and computer programming by nine. But before Nick Cutter took an interest in his work, he'd simply felt like it was taken for granted that he could do all of that and that it meant nothing.
His eyes drifted back to his girlfriend's sleeping form. Rex chirped softly at him, as if giving him the okay. "I still can't believe I let you two keep him," Cutter scolded, though he was smiling.
"He lives in the menagerie now," Connor replied, a little bitter. "In her world, anyway. I guess when they thought we died, they cleaned out the flat and confiscated him. And Sid and Nancy."
"Sid and Nancy?" Cutter asked, eyebrows lifting.
"The two diictodons who didn't make it back through from the hospital." And Connor's eyes dropped to the ground. It was the last time he'd seen his friend, his mentor, alive. They got back to the ARC, Helen was there with her damned clones, and then...
Cutter seemed to understand. He always did. "It was a good way to go out, really. Brought a new life into the world, saved the day, snapped at Helen... A typical day at the ARC, really." Until Helen tried to kill them all. And had succeeded with one.
Connor grew quiet, trying to fight off the memories flooding him. It was impossible, though, with Cutter standing right there. His hair was on the longish side, as it'd been those last few months. Lines around his mouth and at the corners of his eyes showed his age, but the expressions on his face never did. They had a similar build, him and Cutter. Not the slim, cut lines of Stephen, or the 'All I do is work out' appearance that Becker had. And though their coloring was nearly opposite, he wanted to believe people saw them together and sometimes wondered.
"I'm sorry," he finally said in a whisper, and the hand on his shoulder squeezed gently. "I could have saved you."
Cutter smiled, the expression bittersweet. "You couldn't have. I wouldn't have let you. I didn't have much time, Connor. I wanted to go down my way. You did what I asked. You stayed with me. You always have."
Despite himself, a slight blush crept up Connor's cheeks. "Of course. Orders and all."
Blond eyesbrows lifted as Cutter gave him a knowing look. "Orders? Hardly. You were always the most loyal."
"Stephen..."
"Slept with my wife," Cutter reminded him bluntly and Connor's blush grew deeper. "Oh, don't get me wrong. I know he cared for me, and I know how persuasive Helen can be. I forgave him long ago. But it certainly put his loyalty in a new light."
Connor bit his lower lip, considering. "He died for you."
The expression on Cutter's face could only be described as a smirk. "And you wouldn't have done the same if I'd let you? You ran back into that building with no idea what you'd find. She could've still been there. The building wasn't exactly structurally sound. Quit selling yourself short, Connor."
He gave a little shrug, then, turning back to Abby's sleeping form. "Can't help it. I always screw up. No matter what it is I do."
"You make mistakes," Cutter corrected gently. "You don't screw up. And when you do make mistakes, you always do everything you can to make up for them. That counts to people, you know."
"Will it count if she winds up dead?" he questioned, anger tinging his tone.
Cutter's eyes narrowed and he turned to face Connor more directly. Connor didn't look back, though. He couldn't. The only thing worse than a lecture from his mum was one from Cutter. And Cutter's were worse. Because he was so knowledgable about everything that Connor held dear and he knew exactly how to hold it over him.
The accent didn't hurt, either.
"She's a grown woman, Connor, and a damned independent one, too. You don't actually believe she's going to allow you to coddle her, do you?"
Giving a little smirk, Connor shook his head. "No...guess not."
"She loves you, you know. Has for a long time. I saw it. We all did. It's hard for her to show those sorts of things and she may not say it a lot, but she does."
Connor huffed a sigh, blowing his hair out of his face. "I know she does. The fact that she says it at all is proof of that. But what if it isn't me? What if it's him? Her me, I mean. What if she can't separate the two?"
Silence fell between them for a moment and a glance towards his mentor showed that Cutter was thinking. Finally, when he did speak, his voice was softer, reminiscing. "I think, no matter the dimension, two people who are meant to be together will find each other."
"Claudia Brown," Connor said affirmatively. When Cutter had come back through that anomaly, no one had believed him about a world that had existed that the rest of them didn't know. And even Connor, the conspiracy theorist, had trouble with it. But he accepted the idea more readily than anyone. Now, in Lawrence, he believed more than ever.
"Aye," Cutter agreed, his smile soft. "Connor, if you were smart, and I know you are, you'd marry that girl before she can get taken up into another dimension entirely."
At first Connor laughed, but then his friend's words sank in. "I...what?"
Cutter laughed, too, but he didn't sober up. Just kept right on smiling. "I mean it. I know you've been thinking about it. She's already got the ring."
"The ring he gave her! Not mine! What if I screw it up? What if it's too soon? What if..."
With a raise of his hand, Cutter cut him off. "You can make excuses all day long. It isn't going to change my opinion. You two belong together. With her there, you can do anything. And, you know? Same goes for her."
The smile that crossed Connor's face was pleased and a little proud. "She can do anything anyway. She's amazing."
"Think I don't know that?" Cutter answered teasingly. He finally stood up straight and made his way over to the couch. "You've really grown into yourselves. Both of you. I couldn't be more proud. You were two crazy misfits when I took you on. The zoologist with her trust issues and the techie with a massive self-esteem problem."
"I didn't--"
"You did," Cutter finished. "In some ways, you still do. But you're growing. Changing. This place has had a lot to do with that. Finding ways to fit in, offering help when you can. You're learning your strengths and playing to them. I'm only sorry I'm not a part of it."
With a last lingering look at Abby, Connor pulled himself up, too. "Take care of her, boy," he whispered to Rex, who just chirped at him and snuggled closer to his mum. Connor made his way into the main room, dropping on the couch next to his friend. "You are, though," he protested, finally replying to Cutter's comment. "You're in everything I do here. Everything she does back home. We do it all because you taught us."
Cutter's smile was small and sweet. "Then I know these people are in good hands. Keep up what you're doing. I trust you two more than anyone."