The grief that struck her only brought his back to the surface. The small boy, so nimble and quick, thinking he could do what the rest of them couldn't. Should he tell her? Or would it only add to her pain? "Marius volunteered to go first," he said softly, reaching over to lightly brush at her tear-streaked face. He stood to find one of the cloth napkins from behind the counter then returned to her side, offering it to her. "I wouldn't let him. I wouldn't have let Gavroche, either, but he ran off." The last thing he'd wanted was to put the child at risk. But he hadn't gotten a choice. And that was the most unfair part of all. "Joly tried to go after him..." He'd failed them all. Even mentioning their names hurt. It had been his battle to lead and they'd lost. They'd all lost. Oh, he had expected to go out fighting. If he lived, he knew he'd live only to keep fighting the battle until it was won. But what had he done but brought inexperienced schoolboys into battle by his side? It was his fault they were dead. And she may have gone back to be with Marius, but Marius wouldn't have been at the barricade at all if Enjolras hadn't prodded him into staying when he could have gone with Cosette. At the end of the day, it was his fault. All of those deaths were on him.
Including hers.
"That your family raised her? That her mother was alone in the world and she died when Cosette was young?" he asked, responding to her comment. "That your family raised her with financial assistance from her mother and you and your sister, you treated her poorly?" His eyebrows lifted slightly and he finally leaned back in his chair, grateful for the reprieve from his guilt. "I know, 'Ponine. I read."
And then she began rattling on about Marius. And her feelings for Marius. And the fire built up in him again. That desperate urge to slap his friend in the back of the head for ignoring this girl. For allowing her to pass him by in favor of a woman he'd only just met. Somehow he didn't imagine Cosette could ever make her way to the barricades to die by Marius' side. No, sometimes Marius truly was blind.
Was that what jealousy felt like? Was it strange that he wouldn't know?
"Marius missed what was right in front of his face," he said defensively. Defending her.