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Tweak says, "You give me something."

Helena Wells has "disappeared" with the Astrolabe (ismellapples) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2012-08-24 02:55:00

Entry tags:

helena g. wells, natasha romanoff/black widow

Who: Natasha and Helena
What: Talking about tempering a dark past.
When: Thursday late afternoon/early evening-ish
Where: The Avengers' warehouse
Warnings: Medium-ish because dark pasts involve things like murder and such. Everything else TBA

Sometimes the state of Helena's mind frightened her. The tides within it changed so quickly, sometimes without warning. Of course, thoughts of all her sins, all the evil she had committed in the wake of Christina's death were always on her mind. The difference was that now she was trying to find outlets for the thoughts and the feelings the stirred within her. The usual ways she had to deal with these feelings weren't exactly working like they once did. So she was trying some new angles, such as playing the piano again, and now reaching out to those who would understand this constant struggle she was waging within herself. Only someone who had taken life and pulled themselves back from that siren call would understand the path laid before her, and that is what Helena needed right now. Reaching out was something completely unnatural to her, but so far having done so had yielded positive results, so naturally she had tried that path again. Honestly, she'd been surprised by the number of responses she'd received, and she was more than ready to implement and try out some suggestions given to her because she would give anything a try.

That said, when she'd arrived at the warehouse to work on various projects with Bruce, her mind was a scattered and divided one. She'd somehow managed to get herself focused on whatever her hands were working with in any given moment. As a result, she was paying closer attention to each and every detail even more than she usually did. She was overanalyzing every little thing she was doing. When she'd hit a spot in one project that she could set aside for a little bit, she went about mixing a batch of cavorite. She well knew the dangers of having two batches of cavorite in the same room, but she wanted to make two batches, one for Oliver and one for Damien so she could get those underway at relatively the same time, but even so, she set about only making one batch to begin with. It would be easier, and she didn't exactly feel up to going to Stark Industries and making a second batch of cavorite there. She really didn't want to run all around the city to ensure she didn't blow anything up in the process of making the cavorite again.

Once the cavorite was put in the furnace, Helena returned to what she'd been working on before that, trying to focus herself. But as it was, her mind was too overactive. She couldn't focus herself as well as she wanted. Which was a sign she should perhaps go find Natasha before she ended up locking herself up behind science again. It was so very tempting to just remain there in the lab and work until she was too tired to think straight, but that was not the answer. Avoiding dealing with her inner feelings is what had led her to nearly destroying the world. Helena wasn't going to go there again. So with that finally decided, she set the project aside and politely excused herself, making it known she would perhaps return later to try and continue what she'd been working on. And if not today, she'd be back tomorrow.

Running a hand through her hair, she made her way out of the lab to find Natasha. She would start with the gym, then if she didn't find Natasha there, she'd head to the lounge. Once she reached the gym, she opened the door and poked her head in, scanning the room.

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justlykbudapest
2012-08-25 09:59 pm UTC (link)

Normally when Natasha remembered something from her Red Room days, she was able to face it and put it aside rather quickly. It had always been simple for her, no matter what. But for some reason, this time was different. This time, she wondered just what else her trainers had done to her, what other horrors they'd put her through when she was only a child. And at the same time...she was afraid to find out just what memory would be next. She had killed so many people and started so young that she didn't even know, now, how old she'd been when she killed her first mark. Or if it had even been a mark - who knew with the Red Room?

One thing that generally helped Natasha to simply not think was action. Something that caused the adrenaline to pump - preferably something dangerous, but when that wasn't easy to come by, she tended to settle for training, as she did today. She knew that Helena had come to the warehouse to work with Bruce in his lab, and she knew that the scientist would be looking for her after, so she made sure that she was in one of the two places she'd told Helena to seek her in. At the moment, she was throwing punches and kicks at a rather battered punching bag, after having chosen to stick to something simple for the moment.

When she heard the door open, she calmly finished the set she was in the middle of, then turned her head to glance over, nodding when she saw Helena. Her face was composed, currently, hiding the thoughts that had led her to the gym, but it shifted when she offered a smile of greeting. Stepping back from the bag, she picked up a bottle of water and drank deeply, then grabbed a towel and patted her face lightly, before heading over to the door.

"All done with Bruce for now?"

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ismellapples
2012-08-26 07:03 am UTC (link)

Upon having found Natasha in the gym, Helena waited until she was finished with her current set. Not for the first time this week, Helena thought she might look into learning a new style of martial arts. Kenpo would still be her main style, but she could use a new way to physically vent when she needed to. The only thing was she wasn't sure what other form she wanted to learn. There were so many varieties that Helena needed to look into them all once again. But it wouldn't hurt to have something else to try.

If she was being honest with herself, Helena was feeling like she was drowning while trying to find a way to breathe. Oh she could put on a smile and dish out sarcastic snips with the best of them, but her head was a mess, her heart was a mess, and she was trying to put it all into some semblance of order for herself. This whole reaching out to people was difficult, but Helena knew it was far better than the alternative. She wouldn't let herself become that person again. She couldn't. She had too much to lose now, and she wasn't going to lose any of it to her own stupidity. Helena had all ready lost so much because of her own stupidity, she didn't need to add anything else to it.

As Natasha headed to the door, Helena returned the smile of greeting, flipping some hair over her shoulder. Even when she was working in a lab, she rarely pulled her hair back, unless she was working with flame.

"I am, yes. I do hope I did not interrupt your workout routine too much?"

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justlykbudapest
2012-09-11 05:03 pm UTC (link)

At the question, the Russian shook her head. “You didn’t. I’ve been in here for a couple of hours and was just about finished anyway.” She paused to stretch, then took another, shorter sip from her water as she reached the door. Jade eyes swiftly studied the other woman, taking in her appearance and body language to see how she was. It wasn’t something that Natasha ever did on purpose, reading people, but it was a product of her training, something she did now almost without thinking.

“We can stay here and chat, or go to the living room. Whichever you prefer.” Helena intrigued Natasha, and not simply because she was older than she appeared, and seemed as intelligent as Bruce; based on her post, it seemed that the two women may possibly have a great deal in common, and she was glad to have someone there who might, to some extent, understand her own past. “If we sit in here, we may be less likely to be disturbed for the time.” Because she had a feeling that their conversation wasn’t exactly something that either would want being overheard just yet.

[ooc: sooo sorry this took so long! Between notif fail and work, I missed it somehow! <33 ]

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ismellapples
2012-09-12 03:14 am UTC (link)

Helena nodded, smiling a bit. She was glad that she hadn't interrupted the routine. The inventor well knew of what it felt like to have a routine upset. She did notice when Natasha looked her over, studying her. She knew that look well. She didn't mind it. Currently, her body language was a bit guarded, if only because she was trying to hold herself together in the wake of the storm within her mind. But even with that, she wasn't purposely keeping herself closed off. She was just trying to get through the day until she could let the things on her mind out. Which, thankfully, was going to be here and now. So that would take the edge off.

"Perhaps staying in here would be for the better. I would rather not risk being overheard." It wasn't that she was trying to keep secrets from people, but she didn't know anyone, save for Bruce, overly well that lived here. She didn't exactly want someone to overhear some of the things she'd done before they'd properly gotten to know her. But she was glad to have this opportunity to talk with Natasha. Someone who wouldn't judge her, and likewise Helena would never judge her. Helena would never judge anyone for the things they'd done. She'd be quite the hypocrite if she did. "I do not exactly know how to even begin this. It is not something I've really discussed with anyone before."

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