It was mostly through her body's will to live that Tenel Ka was managing to suck in breaths of air. The same thing was the cause of her not giving into the lightheaded feeling that she had. Tenel Ka had once been more than a queen. She had been a jedi, a fighter. She was stronger than this. She thought that she was stronger than this. What was it about Jacen that turned her into a weak woman?
Love was the only answer. She loved Jacen, not Caedus. Jacen was a weakness to her, though if she were honest Allana was as well. She loved the both of them so much that it seemed she would make mistakes for either of them. She loved Jacen and she'd made the mistake, yet again, of giving him leeway. She had trusted him and allowed him to get himself even more firmly implanted into her heart. It only made things even more difficult for her now. She had known that this was always just there under the surface, but she had put too much faith into him, a mistake she made quite often, it seemed. No matter how logical the Hapan Queen could be, love seemed to manage to break through that. The worst part was that she didn't regret marrying him. She didn't regret allowing them another chance to be happy.
She was surprised that he loosened his grip, but it helped. She didn't dare assume that it meant anything more than the fact that he did not want her dead at the moment. "You are wrong about all of it." It was the truth, no matter what he said. He was not more her husband and she was certainly not going to fall in line beside him. His mother had not swayed her in any way either. "A husband is not someone to fall in line beside. Nor does he physically harm his wife. I married Jacen, not you, and he is the one that I want." She would not budge from this, though her voice was full of conviction on the inside she felt much more, unfortunately.
"You do not allow me to do anything." She stated. Tenel Ka Djo was not a woman that was controlled. She was the Queen Mother and she was strong. Stronger than this. She had to be stronger than she had been, than she was managing now. She had to do what she had always been best at. She had to put her emotions to the side. She had to be emotionless, calm, cool, collected, and in control. The feeling of his fingers brushing her hair caused her to turn her head slightly, not wanting to look back at him. She couldn't. She wanted to tell him that she would not do any of that. She would not stand by his side. She would not be with him while he was like this. She didn't really have time to, due to flying into the wall.
Her back hit the wall. Physically TK was not a weak woman, she never had been. She had never worried about this happening before either, though. "No, Caedus." She told him, her voice low, but strong. "I will not give you what you want. I will fight against you, with the others." She couldn't look directly at him for the moment, though, it was difficult. She had to be strong. She could remember what she had thought once upon a time. She had thought she could make a difference. She had thought that he was redeemable. He was not. Jacen was, he had proved as much, but it was no longer Jacen that was here.