It was a cemetery. No on would hold it against him if he let himself go and cried. And she was the last to do so. She was fighting to harden her heart, the way it had been all along until he'd shown up and ruined that. For so long she hadn't let anyone in. This was why. All it got you was hurt. All it got her was a broken heart and loneliness and people who hated her.
People like John Watson.
When he acknowledged her, she flinched. She'd desperately hoped he'd go the other direction. She genuinely wasn't ready for this. The only time she'd even tried talking to him, he'd been completely wasted and all she wanted was to make sure someone like Katherine didn't come along and finish the job. But now? Now she was there and he was there and she couldn't just ignore him.
So she gave a slight nod of acknowledgement. It was all she could manage without a breakdown. Her hormones were raging and the last month had been a violent emotional roller coaster. She couldn't be asked to hold it together. "Dr. Watson," she replied, her voice shaking slightly.
This wasn't her. This wasn't the strong woman she'd spent twenty-eight years putting together. The orphan who'd fought back against the foster system and the cruel 'families' she'd found herself with, the young adult who'd taken such a dark turn and had lost her baby because of it. The hardened woman who took down criminals twice her size, that was who she was used to being, and this? Wasn't her. She was falling apart.
She hesitated for a moment. In some ways, this was the only person in all of Lawrence who could even vaguely understand what she was going through. But on the other...it was partially because of her he was like this. So she simply folded her arms more tightly around her and glanced at the ground. "I should go... I'm sorry." For being there. For interrupting his time with his friend. For leaving him alone in the world because she hadn't wanted to be.