Loki | MCU (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} subtletrick) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} wariscoming,@ 2012-08-14 21:49:00 |
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What? Reunion, blueLoki, angst/emotions, etc.
Where? Loki/Darcy's apartment
When? Backdated to last night, just after Thor's arrival
Why? Because of reasons.
Status: Incomplete
It was far easier to pretend to be normal when speaking via the internet. He could filter his words better with the distance provided by the words on the screen, whereas in person, face to face, Loki was not certain the same would be true.
He had found himself behaving a bit irrationally since his return - since Darcy had talked him out of his blankness, and then out of his panic. He had spent days bungeeing between absolute stillness and the spiraling panic that he knew fed Dark's power over him. He could do nothing to stop it, could do nothing, and it wasn't even until afterwards that he realized it, because at the time he did not entirely care to do anything. He had been bound, and his disguise peeled away, whatever magic he usually - unconsciously - wore to keep his shape normal - Aesir - was gone, leaving the Jotun exposed for all to see.
He hadn't really felt angry about it until after, though. He'd felt fear while it had happened, and then it had faded into the silence of "peace", and then Darcy had broken that all away from him, saved him with her words and her love. It was all very dramatic.
The very next thing he had felt, when the peace and the fear had retreated, was a blinding rage, directed at Dark but expressed in a surge of power that had obliterated the lingering bindings of Dark's magic - the call to come back, to be at peace - and, evidently, depleted his own. Now he was trapped in a shape he loathed, unable to return to normal, unable to hide from what he was or hide what he was from anyone else. He had been grateful that no one who had come for him had seemed to fear his appearance; he had allowed them to lead him home numbly, apologized when his irrational emotions flared up and made things less than ideal...
...and now, Thor was here. Again, and yet for the first time - this was not the Thor that had been here, before. This Thor was Loki's brother, the one who shared his exact 'reality' rather than a splintered-off version of it. He missed the other Thor - but he had missed his own, as well - and yet he had also not wished his brother's presence here. Not this one. It was a curious conflict of emotions, being pleased and terrified and mournful, all with the deep-down boil of rage at this seal and the way it toyed with them all, nothing they could even do, and Loki was beginning to hate how powerless he truly was, in this place.
The room was mostly dark, a lamp in the corner the only light in the front room. Loki had turned that one on only when it had become too dark to continue reading, and even then only grudgingly. Right now, he was little more than a shadow, tucked into an oversized chair with books spread all around - on the tables beside the chair, on his lap, scattered on the floor. It appeared that he had taken an entire library home with him, at some point. He had found that reading helped - it gave him something to focus on, something to throw his mind into, so his emotions didn't get in the way, so his appearance no longer haunted him, so he could more easily avoid uncomfortable questions from Darcy, when she was here - because he was fine, wasn't he? He was reading, after all. That was a good sign, right?
The sound of Thor's approach did not go unnoticed, and Loki closed the book he had been reading at the sound of heavy, familiar footfalls, sliding to his feet and approaching the door, pulling it open before his brother could knock - or more likely knock it down, and then stepping away from the bright hallway light. It was more instinctive than intentional, sticking to the shadows - looking like this, it was probably not terribly surprising to anyone that he did not particularly wish to be seen. He said nothing, assuming Thor would soon have words enough for the both of them, and not entirely sure what he would say if he tried to speak.
He was conflicted, to the point where he felt like he was sure his future counterpart must have felt, hanging over an abyss. There was nowhere to go that would not end badly; one way or another, this was going to be painful for everyone involved.