Who:Handy Metacrisis Ten What: Arrival in Lawrence! When: Monday evening Where: The park by the river Status: Narrative
The first thing he really noticed was the quiet in his head. It wasn’t the same as the vast, dark silence left where the Time Lords used to be; this was much closer and subtler, an empty room rather than an empty world. It was almost soothing in a way. It made it easier almost, for him to keep rattling on, thoughts rocketing along a million miles a minute without any echoing emptiness to deafen him.
What he did find disturbing, as he stepped from the TARDIS doors onto course sand, was the ground. It had never felt so very still before, so solid under his feet. It set off a wave of vertigo, his eyes squeezing shut, and he had to force himself not to leap backwards into the comforting hum of the TARDIS. He could no longer feel the turn of the planet beneath his toes, couldn’t feel time twisting around the stars. He could barely feel time at all; not compared to Time Lord standards at any rate.
On the other hand, he had never felt more aware, he could feel time edging by around him like no human body should be capable of ever, and that was odd wasn’t it? Why was it odd? Why would he feel that at all? He wasn’t anything special, two arms, two legs, one heart, and that wasn’t right either - not the heart (even though the thought made him want to cringe and shudder and wring his guts in disgust) but Donna Noble was always special and she didn’t even see it and he wasn’t her. He was the Doctor. He looked like him, thought like him, felt the same things as him. But he could see them both, was both of them, all tangled up into one person and wasn’t that just wizard?
His brows furrowed as he tried to focus, but his mind was still hurtling along at the speed of time and he couldn‘t keep up. He knew what was coming next, what the original Doctor planned to do. One of them got the stars, and one of them got to stay with Rose. It was obvious the way the Doctor intended this to go. And there was a part inside him, one that was all ginger hair and loud voice and kind heart, that felt a pang of compassion for what the other Doctor was about to lose, even as his guts wrenched at the thought of being grounded here.
But he was already grounded. Grounded to Earth and grounded to chronological order in this half human body that could barely feel time. Oh he still could, but it was like being blind in one eye, deaf in one ear, paralyzed in one hand, and speaking of hands he can almost feel it more in his right and he figures it must be because out of all of him, that hand is the most Doctor-like of all of him, the cutting that the tree grew out of. He was - no - is the Doctor. The Doctor plus human, and that was so wrong feeling.
But Rose... he could be with Rose. They'd sat once before, under a black hole sky, and talked about living the domestic life together. And now he'd actually live that life... perhaps. If Rose would even want to be with him. If she could still accept him as the Doctor, with this half human body. He was ready and willing to take that chance, if it meant he could be with her. He could give her his everything, his life and his heart, if she wanted them, the way he never could as a full-blooded Time Lord.
It suddenly occurred to him that he'd been standing in the doorway of the TARDIS for several long moments. Taking in a fortifying breath, he opened his eyes.
For a minute, all he could do was stare. "Oh. Well. This can't be right at all."