InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I am a nightmare walking"

Lois Lane; Intrepid Reporter (thatlanewit) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2012-08-02 00:26:00

Entry tags:

clark kent/superman, lois lane

Who: Lois and Clark
What: Lois wants to work herself to death. Clark won’t let her.
When: Thursday night
Where: starting at the newspaper
Warnings: angst, possibly swearing on Lois' part

It all came back to a conversation that seemed to have happened a lifetime ago. Two kids sitting together, talking about the future, and making promises that were never going to be. Lois had brought it up during the engagement party, remarking on how her and Chloe had said they’d wait to marry their soulmates, and while she’d told Chloe later on that she’d been wrong and Jimmy was obviously the one for her, Lois had never really believed that. It wasn’t that Lois didn’t like Jimmy, she loved the kid, but the spark had never been there between the two of them and the eventual divorce had only proven her suspicions right. Jimmy Olsen was not Chloe Sullivan’s soulmate.

It didn’t seem to matter in the end though. Not with her baby cousin back in the complex’s medbay, laying on cold metal. There would be no living in houses next to one another, no growing old and doing a hundred other dreams that should have been laid out for them to accomplish. In one swift moment all of those dreams had died and time couldn’t be rewound to undo what had been done. Life moved on after death, even when one didn’t want it to. People still got up to go to work, criminals still committed crimes, and the world kept turning.

Lois hadn’t stopped moving since Oliver told her what had happened, and while it had taken her time to accept what he was saying as truth, once she had seen Chloe’s lifeless body there had been no denying what he’d told her. Tears had wanted to fall, her body had wanted to crumble to the ground and scream at the injustice of it all, but she’d held it all in. Stared at the body of her cousin and then walked away to find out what happened.

The surveillance cameras around Watchtower hadn’t caught an angle that could tell her too much. Bodies halfway in the frames or the lightning not good enough to give her any idea what she was seeing. Just that Chloe had touched Jason and Tess and while the other two rose moments later, Chloe had fallen, never to get up again. She watched the footage over and over, not realizing how time had slipped away until the sun rose and she knew she had to get ready for the office.

She couldn’t say exactly how she managed that, body running on autopilot and she found herself behind her computer, typing away before anyone else had headed in. She tried to ignore everyone, answers quick and short, almost robotic when she had to reply, and focused on the stories she needed to get in. Maybe she’d been snappier than usual, and her spelling definitely had become more atrocious, but the articles she’d written were sound and the research she had painstakingly sought out was better than decent.

It was nearing the end of the work day and she dreaded how quickly it seemed to be approaching. Lois knew she needed to come up with an excuse to stay, needed a reason to continue to sit behind the computer and ignore the world around her, especially the man across from her that she had a feeling was watching her every move.

She didn’t want to go back to the complex, didn’t want to sit in that apartment with all the time to think about what had happened. With that much idle time on her hands Lois knew her imagination would run away from her. That her mind would have ample time to think about what Chloe’s last few moments had been like, how much pain her baby cousin must have been in, and how she hadn’t been able to do anything for her. Everything that Chloe’s life was supposed to become had been ripped away in seconds and Lois didn’t know how to reconcile that with what she knew was meant to happen for her cousin. Maybe it would have been better if the Seal had never brought them to Lawrence, but part of her felt horrible thinking that way--there were some parts of being brought to the city that she wouldn’t wish away for the world, and the mismatched emotions were throwing her mind for a roller coaster ride that she wanted to get off of.

At least if she stayed at work, she could try to focus on something besides how the world had come crashing down around her. She could push aside all the pain that wanted to devour her from the inside out and lose herself in the story of others. It was easier to focus on trying to dig up the dirt needed to expose the campaign funds being withdrawn illegally from one account or investigating why there had been three separate fires in one part of town, all buildings owned by the same man. Anything besides the fact that she was going to need to plan a funeral.

Lois whirled around in her chair and headed for the coffee pot, intent on brewing another to get her through until at least midnight.

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ex_savior698
2012-08-02 08:50 am UTC (link)

Clark, too, had been looking for an excuse to stick around the office. Not for himself, but for his editor and for his co-workers, who would undoubtedly question as to why the reporter had chosen to lurk around his desk long after he had finished his own work. He had no articles left to write. No stories to edit. There was no reason for him to be at work at all and yet, an hour and a half post the end of his designated shift, Clark Kent was still sitting at his desk. For the most part, he tried to at least pretend that he was doing something. He tapped away at his keyboard, shifted around to a few pages on the web that seemed like they might have had something or another to do with the news, and occasionally popped off to the printer. None of those things were really accomplishing much of anything and, as far as Clark could tell, at least a handful of people working in the area around them could tell that Clark was holding back for a very specific reason.

In spite of his attempts at trying to blend, it probably hadn't been very difficult for anyone to figure out why Clark was still there. Between all the shuffling back and forth to the printer and unimportant activity at his desk, Clark had spent most of his time peeking over and around his computer to look at the woman sitting opposite him. It was a habit that he had grown attached to for the duration of his work day, one that had only increased more and more as the day passed on. By the time he had finished all of his work, which was surprising considering the real point of his attention, Clark had lost count of how often he found himself spying on Lois from where he sat. It was hard not to.

Chloe was dead. Clark may not have known Chloe as well as his alternate self had, but he did know that Chloe and Lois had been very close. Losing Chloe like this, so unexpectedly and so very suddenly...

He was worried. It was one thing to lose someone and delve into the mourning process, but it was another to go at everything like this. Instead of taking some time to herself, Lois had turned right around and buried herself into piles of articles and paperwork. The night before, when Lois had shut him down when he'd asked after her, Clark had thought that maybe she just needed some time and space to process what had happened. If she wanted to pretend she was working, then fine. He'd let her. But unfortunately, as Clark found out as soon as he stepped into the paper that morning, Lois wasn't pretending. She was actually doing it. How she had managed to muster up the strength to bring herself all the way out to the office and dig into reporting elbow deep hours after Chloe had died, Clark didn't know. What he did know was that what she was doing was far from healthy. She was ignoring the problem. Shutting down her feelings, pretending that nothing was wrong...

It wasn't right. And as Clark watched herself work, hour on top of hour without even the tiniest of breaks, he began to understand that Lois wasn't going to be able to cope with this on her own. Not like this. Not here. She had to go somewhere where there weren't any distractions. Somewhere quiet. Somewhere far away, where she couldn't get her hands on the tiniest bit of work if she tried.

So Clark waited for the right opportunity. And when one presented itself, he slid out of his chair and followed Lois over to the coffee area. Rather than speaking to her right away, he folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall beside the refreshment table. He watched her carefully for a moment, then shook his head and let out a heavy sigh. "Lois, what are you doing here?"

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thatlanewit
2012-08-02 09:14 am UTC (link)

She’d been waiting for him to talk to her. It wasn’t like she hadn’t noticed the glances in her direction every few minutes at first, but after awhile Lois had gotten so drawn into her work, so focused on what she was writing that she’d been able to tune Clark out for awhile. Which had helped because hearing him talk only reminded her of Chloe which in turn reminded her that she wouldn’t ever hear Chloe’s voice again. Throwing herself into article and research was easier to do than think about what had happened and what she needed to do.

“You know for a reporter you’re not all that good at seeing the obvious,” Lois murmured, trying to force her voice into its usual joking tone, but it sounded flat to her. “I’m making coffee.”

She looked at him and then nodded at the brewing pot before turning her attention back to it. Lois knew that wasn’t the answer he wanted, it wasn’t really answering his question, but she didn’t want to go into why she was wearing herself out in the office instead of...doing what exactly? Laying in bed crying like Lucy had done after their mother had passed away or going off to train soldiers again like their father had done shortly after they had buried her, leaving the burden of comforting her sister to Lois and no one to offer a shoulder for her to lean on. No one except the cousin who had called her every night. That same cousin she would never speak to again.

She stopped the line of thought immediately, steeling her emotions as she rubbed at her temples, trying to will away the headache she could sense coming. She dropped her hands once she realized what she was doing, not wanting to add anymore to what Clark was probably already worrying about.

“Why are you here?” Lois countered, tapping her fingers against the counter and wishing the coffee would brew faster. She knew he was finished with his workload, knew shift time had ended and he had no reason to be hanging around. Definitely had no reason to be following her into the breakroom. She glanced behind her, rolling her eyes as a number of their coworkers quickly turned away from the room, and she knew they had been watching them. This was only going to add fuel to the Lois and Clark joke fire that had been burning since she’d stepped foot in the door.

Sighing she turned back to look at him before picking up the pot to pour herself a cup. “Go home, Clark.”

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ex_savior698
2012-08-02 09:52 am UTC (link)

Lois had her head stuck in the ground and it was obvious that it worked in more ways than one. Writing wasn't her only escape. She was deflecting his question and she was probably doing so in the hope that Clark would back off and let her be. If Lois was smart - and the last he checked, she was - then she had to know that Clark wasn't the type of person who would just turn the other way. Not now. Not when she was hurting so badly. Clark had sat in his chair for hours watching Lois function like a robot. He wouldn't do it again.

At her remark, Clark tipped his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "That's not what I meant and you know it." That didn't mean that she was going to give him a straight answer. He wanted her to; if she did, he wouldn't have to go through with his plan. All of this burying would fall apart once she admitted that something was wrong. It had to, right? If she admitted that she was hurting, if she acknowledged that she was here trying to pretend like she hadn't just lost the only family she had in this world, then Clark could help her. No, he couldn't make her stop hurting and he certainly couldn't bring Chloe back, no matter how badly he wished that he could, but Clark could be there for her. He could and would support her, but only if Lois was willing to let him in. She had to let herself in first, though, and that just wasn't something that was going to happen in the middle of a stuffy office filled with prying eyes.

"I want to talk to you," Clark started. He paused, blue eyes flashing toward the handful of people who were attempting to master the noble sport of Awkwardly Spying on a Co-Worker Without Being Noticed. Maybe it was because he had been putting it into practice all day himself, but Clark had noticed that they weren't very good at it. He shook his head in exasperation. "Privately. I know you're --" Being difficult. Avoiding the fact that Chloe is dead. "-- busy, but it's important." He doubted that Lois would just walk off with him, knowing that he wanted to talk to her about the very thing she was steering clear of, so Clark added a little incentive to ensure that she did. "It'll be short. Couple minutes, tops. Then I'll let you get back to it, all right?"

Clark pushed away from the wall, large frame swinging around so that he was standing between Lois and the door that led back to her desk. "Please. Give me a few minutes. I can't go home until you do."

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thatlanewit
2012-08-02 03:33 pm UTC (link)

Lois had tried to focus on the cup of coffee sitting on the table instead of whatever Clark was saying or doing. She quietly fixed the drink, adding sugar and creamer before stopping to look at the mess she had made of the packets. There were too many sugars opened and not enough creamers. She counted and recounted what she had done a few times, brow furrowing in worry as she realized she’d made the coffee to Chloe’s specifications and not hers. She stared down at the offending cup, hand dropping away from it as though it had burned her. She couldn’t drink it now, couldn’t even stand to look at what she had done. Coffee had been one of their rituals, an addiction they had both cultivated during their teenage years and had been going on strong ever since.

Her stomach felt queasy and Lois gripped the edge of the table to steady herself for a moment, the sound of Clark talking again forcing her attention back to him. She turned around, focus moving to his mouth and for a moment she couldn’t quite make out what he was saying to her, just saw the movement of his mouth as he spoke, but soon enough his words started to make sense and her gaze fell away.

She knew all too well what he probably wanted to talk about and had no desire to hash it out with him, but if it would get to him leave her alone and get back to the numbness of work then Lois knew she had no choice but to endure it for a few moments. There was something about the way he said please that tugged at her deep inside and had her looking back into his eyes. Part of her wanted to let him in, to tell him what was going on in her head and let it all out, but she squashed that quickly enough. Her walls were up and it would take a lot for them to come down.

“You get two minutes,” Lois snapped, brushing past him and out the door that led to the hallway. She walked out into the middle of it, glancing back and forth to make sure no one else was around. “Is this private enough for you?”

They shouldn’t have been anywhere together in private at work. It sparked too many murmurs from their colleagues, fueled the fire for the jokes and gossip at the paper spread like wildfire. Lois crossed her arms across her chest, glaring at him as she waited for him to talk and get this conversation over with. “Clocks ticking.”

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ex_savior698
2012-08-03 04:34 am UTC (link)

Two minutes. That was more than enough time for Clark to do what he needed to. He gladly followed Lois out into the hall, noting her cold demeanor as she went, and took a moment to inspect their surroundings. People were still curious, he was sure, but they weren't going to step out into an area as closed off as this one was to observe them on the off chance that they'd be seen doing so. So long as they didn't peek around the corner, Clark knew he could get Lois out of here without making their Superman and Lois Lane jokes evolve into serious discussions. "This is fine," Clark told Lois, averting his gaze downward so that he was looking square at her. "Perfect, actually." There was a window down the hall behind them. It was more than perfect.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry." Clark put a hand to her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry about your cousin." There was a lot more to it than that. Clark was feeling apologetic for more than just one reason. "I'm sorry that you're hurting. I'm sorry that you feel like you've gotta walk around here and pretend like everything is okay when deep down you know that it's not." She'd turn away at that. Clark knew that Lois would get mad or she'd shut him down as soon as he said it, so he tightened his hold on her shoulder just a little. It wasn't enough to hurt her, but it was definitely enough to keep Lois from spinning away before he could do what was necessary.

The coast was still clear. Good.

"And I'm sorry, Lois, for what I'm about to do now, even if it's what you need."

With one hand already on her, it was more than easy for Clark to grab Lois around the waist and hoist her into his arms. If she said anything, he didn't respond to it. Instead, Clark turned and made way for the window at a speed that was well beyond anything human. In the blink of an eye, they went from standing in the hallway of their workplace to rushing through the sky above it, leaving all the distractions that Lois had buried herself in so far behind that she couldn't have gotten back to it if she tried.

The path to the Fortress was already mapped out in his head. He would take her there, where Lois couldn't rush off and find something else to use as a tool to aid her in her quest to avoid Chloe's death. She had to accept what had happened. She had to mourn. She had to do this right, for both herself and Chloe, and Clark was going to make sure that she got the chance to do it.

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thatlanewit
2012-08-03 05:08 am UTC (link)

Lois attempted listening to what Clark was saying at first, but as soon as he started apologizing she tried to tune him out. She didn’t want to hear the apologies, didn’t want people to start in on sending flowers and making vague associations to who her cousin had been and all the good she had done. It was one thing if it only happened at the gathering after the Funeral, but Lois knew from experience that it never seemed to end. Even eighteen years after her mother had died and there were still people who she would talk to that would bring up their condolences. It drove her mad and she didn’t want it to start again, couldn’t handle it from all of these people who knew Chloe even less than a base full of people had known her mother.

She was ready to tell him to stop when she heard him bring up what she was doing, pegging her actions better than anyone else had, and she wanted to get away from him as quickly as she could. Clark knowing her that well made her feel even more vulnerable than she already was and Lois couldn’t seem to build up enough walls around herself to keep him from seeing the truth. She had a retort on her lips, ready to pull away from him and head back into the office when she felt his grip tighten on her shoulder.

The movement distracted her for a moment, long enough for him to pick her up and fly them out of the building before she even knew what was happening. “No,” she shrieked at him, eyes widening in panic. It wasn’t because they were flying, that hardly scared her, but she didn’t want to go back to the complex where Chloe was no doubt laying inside a metal drawer. She couldn’t handle that or the photographs of the two of them in her apartment or any of a million other little things that reminded Lois of her cousin. “You bring me back right now, Clark Kent.”

Lois hit him in the shoulder, not caring for her safety at all in that moment. Maybe if she struggled enough he'd be forced to land and she would have enough time to get the hell away from him and drown herself in work all over again. “You do not get to decide my life for me. I don’t care how right you think you are. You don’t know me and you obviously don’t know what I need if you think taking me back to the...” She stopped hitting him when she realized they weren't flying in the direction of the apartment complex.

Where the hell was he taking her? Did it even really matter? Wherever it was it wasn’t the office and that was the only place Lois could think of going where she wouldn’t have to think about the awful truth. It was the only safe place for her to be at the moment and she needed to get back. “Turn this ride back around now, Clark, or I swear to god I will figure out a way to kick your ass. You’re not as invulnerable as you think you are. Everyone has their weak spot.”

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ex_savior698
2012-08-03 07:03 am UTC (link)

Clark wasn't too surprised when Lois tried to resist what he had done, even after they were both well into the air. Most people wouldn't have tried it with him out of fear that they might get dropped, but Lois didn't seem to think that was much of a concern. Of course, that was probably because she wasn't thinking about much of anything right now. Her irritation with him had likely taken over, which - as much as Clark hated to admit it - was a good thing. If she was letting herself get mad, she was letting herself feel. It was one step away from being that robotic, cold version of Lois that Clark had spent all day worrying over and another step toward the Lois that was going to face what she was trying so desperately hard to run from.

At her struggle, Clark tightened his grip on her again. It didn't bother him, personally, but if Lois took one swipe at him with too much force, she'd end up with a shattered hand. And if she didn't end up hurting herself, there was still the off chance that she'd somehow wriggle her way out of his grip and tumble into a free fall. If she fell, Clark knew that he could catch her, but the process wouldn't be a very fun one for Lois, who was already going through enough.

"No," Clark told her firmly, "we're not going back. You're not going back. Not today." Not if he had anything to say about it. And right now, what with him being the one flying them around, he did and there was absolutely nothing that Lois could do about it. "I'm sorry. I'll say it a million times over, but I'm not going to let you work yourself to death when we both know that it's the last thing that you need to be doing. You're coming with me." He'd take her to the Fortress of Solitude. It was a quiet, private place where Lois could take some time to herself. No one would bother her. Work wouldn't get in the way. It was where she needed to be now, just as Clark knew that the very same place was where he needed to be when he was in need of some serious alone time.

The Fortress was a lot closer than China. Clark knew that they would be there long before Lois was anywhere near finished fighting him on this.

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thatlanewit
2012-08-03 07:39 am UTC (link)

“You are the most frustrating man,” she growled, continuing to wriggle in his grip and trying to push her way out of his arms. It was a futile movement and she had a feeling he wasn’t even using all of his strength to keep her securely in place. It wasn’t as though she had a death wish. No part of her wanted to join Chloe in her early grave, but Lois was still holding out hope that she could somehow steer Clark back to Kansas and get back into the office. As they flew further and further away that hope dwindled into nothing and was overtaken by growing annoyance.

She stopped moving and settled for glaring at him, arms crossed as she tried to deduce where he was taking her. They were obviously heading north and there were only a few places she could think of that he would want to go up that way. It didn’t take her long to conclude where they were headed and her eyes narrowed. “This is not how I want to see the Fortress,” she informed him, hand gripping his chin and trying to make him look at her. “You can’t keep me locked away there. I am not fucking Rapunzel, Clark Kent. I stayed in Watchtower long enough before and I am not about to let you make me stay somewhere else.” If she had to Lois would figure out how to get out of the place, steal some damn clothing to keep her warm, and start trekking for home. She was resilient, she thought that she might even make it a few feet before being forced back inside.

It didn’t seem as though he was even listening to her which caused her frustration with the situation to grow and nearly bubble over. She felt helpless and she hated that feeling and was angry that he was making her feel that way. “Why can’t you let me do this my way?” she asked, rubbing at her temples, her head starting to pound again.

She knew what could happen if she was alone with him in that huge fortress. Clark had already shown that he was pretty good at seeing through her defenses and breaking down her walls. She knew with enough time he’d be able to snap through all of them and then she’d have to do what she desperately didn’t want to do. She’d let go and Lois wasn’t sure that once she did that if she would ever be able to pick herself up again.

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ex_savior698
2012-08-03 08:41 am UTC (link)

The gap between human civilization and Lois and Clark broke into a burst of clouds and sky as they continued to travel onward. In moments time, the warm summer air quickly melted into something much cooler and, eventually, the first signs of ice and snow began to form on the horizon. The Fortress was a ways in, tucked off in a wild area that no human could have possibly found unless they knew exactly what they were looking for. That had been part of his wish when Clark had asked for the Fortress during the bauble invasion. With the Fortress out of sight, it was also well out of mind, which meant that he would never have to worry about scientists and explorers stumbling upon the crystallized fortress that he had wished onto the northern edge of the planet.

Clark had noticed that Lois had swapped her unrealistic dream of becoming a bird for a more vocal approach. He let her grumble and complain. It was better than anxiously flying her across the country while she squirmed around. He could handle her giving him a hard time ; it was the idea of Lois hurting herself that had worried him. For the most part, he tried to ignore her. Clark knew that he wasn't going to be able to win an argument with her right now, nor did he want to. That wasn't why he was doing this. Their field trip to the north pole? It wasn't for him. It was for her.

Ignoring her was pretty easy when he was focused on flying. Yet, the second she touched his face, Clark found his head instantly turning in her direction.

She did not look happy.

"And it's not how I wanted to show it to you," he said, voice surprisingly quiet. Bringing her to the Fortress was supposed to have been a good experience. It was a personal place, one that Clark felt defined him, and it was going to be brought into her life with a bad memory. Maybe that's all it ever would be, once this was over. The thought worried him, but not as much as the idea of Lois shutting herself down. He'd take bad Fortress memories over Lois torturing herself any day of the week. "Your way was...it's not doing anything. It's only hurting you and I can't watch you do that to yourself, Lois. I know you're angry and I know this isn't what you want, but you need this. I know you do. I'm really sorry." Another apology. They were definitely going to be a recurring theme.

In the distance, Clark could see the familiar shape of the Fortress falling into view. It was best defined as an ice castle, what with it's jagged crystals shooting up out of the snowy ground, standing as the very foundation of the alien structure that Clark took comfort in. It looked enormous on the outside, even from a far off point of view, and it only stood out even more in contrast to the miles of flattened snow and ice that spread out on the ground in every direction that surrounded it. It was out of sight to the world that didn't know it existed, yet it was one that was hard to look away from to those who were looking at the Fortress dead on.

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thatlanewit
2012-08-03 09:15 am UTC (link)

“Stop saying that,” she demanded, shutting her eyes tightly as she tried to push his words out of her head. Lois didn’t want him to make sense, didn’t want to hear another apology come from his lips. “I cannot take another damn apology right now.” Especially when she knew it was only the beginning of them. She’d gotten one text as her shift had started, and while she couldn’t remember for the life of her who had sent it, Lois had shut down the phone and thrown it into her desk knowing there would be an onslaught of apologies sent her way. It happened whenever someone died and she couldn’t handle responding to any of them. Out of sight, out of mind had been her motto and it had been going well until Clark had brought her into the sky.

The temperature change had her instinctively burrowing closer to him, not dressed at all for the drop in temperature. Thankfully it was still summer but the thin layered material she was wearing wasn’t much of a match against the cold. Lois rested her head on his shoulder, not wanting to look into his piercing blue eyes anymore and tucked her hands under her chin. “You didn’t have to watch,” she pointed out, sighing as she looked down at the snow covered ground below them. “You could’ve gone home and left me alone.”

Except Lois had a feeling her really couldn’t have done that or he would’ve left after his shift had ended instead of hanging around. She didn’t want to analyze why that was, didn’t want to confuse herself more than she already was, and let her gaze drift across the landscape. Her breath caught in her throat as she took in what had to be the Fortress. She’d thought about what it would be like for ages, ever since Clark had first told her about it, but seeing it in person Lois realized it was more than she’d ever expected and was genuinely at a loss of words for how to describe it.

“This is what Krypton is made out of?” she asked, her anger diminishing a bit as she thought about what the Fortress must have meant to Clark. It was one of the only links to his birth parents, to an entire civilization that he was the last survivor of, besides Kara and to a degree Kon. All of those people had died, an entire family that he would never see, never truly remember, and all he had left was an enormous building that could only do so much. There were no memories, no pictures of himself with his mother or father like she at least had with Chloe. No one else alive who he could really discuss what they had been like and she could do all of that, even if not everyone had known her cousin there were those who did. There were so many holes being shot through her armor that Lois didn’t think she’d be able to repair it in time to keep her walls up.

“Don’t make me do this,” she pleaded, shutting her eyes tightly and clung to him, pressing her face into his neck as she continued to fight back the tears that were threatening to come down. Lois Lane was supposed to be stronger than this. What would the General say?

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ex_savior698
2012-08-11 08:27 am UTC (link)

Clark didn't dare argue. If she didn't want him to apologize, he wouldn't. It was hard not to, he had to admit, because when someone was in pain it was all a person really could say. There was nothing that Clark could do to change what had happened to Chloe. He couldn't go back in time, he couldn't bring her back, he couldn't do anything. All he could do was tell Lois that he was sorry. He was sorry, but it was a sentiment that Lois was obviously tired of hearing. He couldn't really blame her for that. When his father had died, Clark hadn't wanted to hear it from much of anyone either. He hadn't wanted to talk to anyone about it, he hadn't wanted to put up with all the talk about how good of a man his father had been by people Clark had barely known...Clark hadn't wanted anything to do with it back then. But, at the time, he had put up with every bit of it. Not just because he knew it was what his father would have wanted, but because he couldn't have left his mother to endure all of that alone. He still kind of wished that they had both told everyone to back off. So when Lois told him to, he did. No questions asked. Clark just kept flying, mouth zipped shut and mind focused on the task of getting Lois to the Fortress as quickly as he could.

"And let you sit through a loaded work day while you're in pain? No." Clark wouldn't have left Lois there for anything in the world. What if she had broken down in front of everyone? What if people started coming up to her? What if she found herself being attacked by questions of what's wrong, Lois? and are you all right? It wouldn't have gone well. He had to stick around all day. Clark had to look out for her.

Lois was turning toward his body, seeking warmth from the cold air that had begun to hit them both in full force. It didn't bother Clark, but he knew that it wasn't pleasant for Lois. He sped up just a little, hoping to get her inside before she turned into a human icicle.

"What it was made of, yes," Clark confirmed. "And you have to do this, Lois. I know you don't want to, but..." He shook his head. "This has to be done." At that, Clark found a landing point at the Fortress entrance and lightly reunited them both with the ground. Clark set Lois down, gently, and pulled off his jacket. Without saying anything, he wrapped it around her shoulders and walked across the snow covered ground to retrieve the Fortress key.

Compared to the Fortress itself, the method of entrance appeared to be far less impressive. It was a key. And it was just sitting on the ground. Clark bent over and picked it up, then carried it over to the Fortress' door.

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thatlanewit
2012-08-11 09:03 am UTC (link)

Lois pulled the jacket tight around her body, shivering slightly in the snow. Part of her wanted to embrace the numbness she could feel seeping deep into her body, to quickly rebuild the walls that the flight from Lawrence to this strange piece of another world had steadily broken down. Her mind wouldn’t cooperate though and she tried to blink away the tears in her eyes. She pushed her arms through the jacket sleeves so she could wipe the tears off of her cheeks, trying to erase any evidence of them having fallen.

She turned her attention to Clark, needing something to focus on besides the pain that wanted to overwhelm her and bring down. She couldn’t figure out what he was doing at first, her brain not quite making the connections as she watched him pick up the key. Once she realized what it was though she wondered why on earth he would leave something like that laying around in the snow where anyone could find it. Not that she suspected many people even made their way to that part of the wilderness, but on the off chance that someone did it wouldn’t take too long for anyone to figure out what to do with a random key on the ground.

“Some security system you’ve got going,” Lois murmured, nose wrinkling at the absurdity of it all. It was almost as though she could hear Chloe in the back of her head making commentary, pointing out all the things that could go wrong, and reminding Lois of when she’d been attending Smallville High with Chloe and their Clark back home.

The sound that she made next was somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and Lois forced herself to take a deep breath so she wouldn’t give into the crying spell her body was desperate for her to have. “Why does it have to be done? She’s not dead back home,” Lois pointed out, kicking at the snow, trying to keep it all together. “She’s alive. So she’s missing and off with Doomsday but...”

Whatever she had been about to say caught in her throat as she stared at Clark. Doomsday was not something she ever wanted to bring up with him again and she had a feeling it wasn’t something Clark ever wanted to discuss. Especially not in this place that was supposed to be a safe haven. “I didn’t...I’m...” Lois shrugged helplessly, gaze falling to the snow covered ground. “I’m sorry.”

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ex_savior698
2012-08-11 09:50 am UTC (link)

Clark smiled a little at her comment. "It's actually a little more complicated than it looks," he explained, placing the key back on the ground once the door was unlocked. Clark swept an arm out, gesturing toward the key. "If you don't believe me, you could try picking it up, but something tells me you're just not cut out for a key that weights around half a million tons." It wasn't the most subtle means to unlock the door, but the Fortress was already difficult enough to find. Combine that with a key that was nearly impossible to lift unless one had the strength to do so? Then, yeah, Clark really wasn't very worried. There weren't many people with that kind of strength here, let alone in his own world. The Fortress was perfectly safe.

Clark would have challenged her on the security system a little more, just for the entertainment of it all, but he could tell that Lois wasn't in any condition to be messed with right now. Her eyes were red. Was that because of the cold, or was it because she had been crying when he hadn't been paying attention?

No. Maybe it was because she was about to cry. Between the break in her voice and the look on her face, Clark could tell she was trying her hardest to keep it together. It had probably been easier back at the office, where she had been isolated and focused on multiple things at once. Now she was here, alone with Clark, and Clark wasn't holding back. She had to deal with this. Lois had no choice.

"Lois, that doesn't change what happened to Chloe here..." Clark trailed off. Chloe being alive (maybe?) back home was a good thing, but the Chloe that had been here was still gone. Was this denial? Was Lois going through the five stages? Clark winced and stepped forward, a hand already moving to reach for her shoulder, but paused when Lois unexpectedly brought Doomsday into the conversation. A sharp pang of dislike rushed through him at the very mention of the monster that had torn it's way through Metropolis, but Clark didn't let the emotion reach his eyes. Now wasn't the time for him to get angry about Doomsday.

He shifted, hand going around her shoulder instead. "No more apologies, remember? Come on. Let's get you inside. It's freezing out here."

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thatlanewit
2012-08-11 10:19 am UTC (link)

Of course the key would weigh an insane amount of weight. It really shouldn’t have surprised Lois and had she been able to focus on what he was saying she would have challenged him about that even being possible. As it was, she really didn’t care about the neat little trick and had just wanted to get out of the cold and inside the building where she hoped it was at least warmer. But then she had made the mistake of bringing up Doomsday and Lois was rooted to the spot, not wanting to budge an inch.

She still couldn’t bring herself to look at him, even with the way he had so easily brushed off her mistake. Lois knew as soon as she stepped through the threshold of the Fortress that there would be no turning back. The last of her walls would fall down and she would have to be as vulnerable as she had been when her mother had died all those years ago. It had been a time of pain and loneliness and while friends and random strangers had offered their support, Lois hadn’t received any from her father, the one person she had truly needed to help her deal with the loss of her mother. Sure, he had been grieving as well, but she’d only been six and had no idea how to process what had happened and even worse she had to be the strong one for her little sister.

Clark’s arm around her shoulders proved that this grieving process didn’t have to be like that one had been. She didn’t have to do it alone and while that didn’t change the fact that she didn’t want to do it at all, it did seem to chip away the last of her strength to keep resisting. His statement about apologies had her knees buckling beneath her and she nearly fell forward, reaching for Clark, needing his strength.

The tears she had been holding back were coming in full force at that point and Lois didn’t think they would ever stop. “You...don’t even...feel the...cold,” she told him between sobs as she was reminded of how cold Chloe’s body had been. How her cousin would never feel warm again. The life had been taken out of her and no amount of wishing or hoping would ever bring her cousin back. Not even Superman could do that. Nothing could and that loss hurt more than Lois could bear.

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ex_savior698
2012-08-11 11:11 am UTC (link)

If Lois thought Clark was going to let her fall over right then and there in the ice and snow, she had another thing coming. He grabbed her, pulled her up into his arms, and hugged her close to his chest as he started for the Fortress door. She was breaking. As much as it was what Clark had set out for Lois to do for her own sake, it didn't really feel like much of an accomplishment. It had been a necessary call, but it wasn't one that he had been excited to follow through on. He hated seeing her like this. The confident, know-it-all Lois Lane, who always had something smart to say, was shattering into a million pieces right now and Clark was terrified that he wouldn't be able to put her back together again. But that was something that was going to have to wait until later. Right now, Lois needed to be broken. As much as it tore at his heart to watch her like this, he knew that bringing her here had been the right call.

Once the Fortress had sealed itself behind them, Clark quickly carried Lois through various halls and walkways until he hit the living area. The second he found a bed, Clark settled down along it's edge, but he didn't let Lois go. He didn't know if she wanted to be left alone, or if she wanted him to stick around, but he did know that he had wanted to comfort her from the very moment he first laid eyes on her this morning and he wasn't about to pass up the opportunity now when it looked like she needed it the most.

Arms already wrapped around her, Clark hugged Lois close to him. There was nothing he could say. Nothing that would have made what had happened better. He couldn't tell her it was going to be okay, because Clark knew that nothing in the world would convince Lois that it would be right now, and he wasn't going to try and console Lois with tales of how great a person Chloe had been when he had barely known her to begin with. So he held her, quietly, and hoped that it would be enough.

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thatlanewit
2012-08-11 08:06 pm UTC (link)

As soon as Clark had gathered her into his arms Lois had wrapped her own around him, holding on with the little strength that she had left. Once the tears started it didn’t seem like they would ever stop and she pressed her face into his shoulder, all thought of trying to calm herself down forgotten as they traveled through the Fortress. Lois didn’t know what was happening anymore, too swept up by her loss to make sense of anything that was occurring around her, and for once she didn’t try to push through the pain and focus on some small part of the world to overcome all that she was feeling.

She was grateful that Clark didn’t leave. There would be some point where Lois knew she would want time alone, but this moment wasn’t it. She needed him there, needed to feel his heartbeat beneath her ear and his arms wrapped around her, steadying her as much as they could while she cried her heart out.

Eventually her tears stopped falling and her sobbing was replaced by hiccuping breaths, too tired to cry anymore. Her lack of sleep and the emotional turmoil she had been through was catching up with her, and Lois closed her eyes, not really seeing the point of keeping them open. It was hard for her to see the point to anything at that moment.

“Clark,” she finally said, voice raw and foreign to her own ears. Lois didn’t like how scared she sounded, how vulnerable she was in that moment. She desperately wanted to get back to the woman that she was, to gather all of her strength around her and keep going, but she was exhausted and that wouldn’t be happening anytime soon. She was barely staying awake as it was and knew it wouldn’t take long before she fell asleep. She also knew she didn't want to wake up in some strange room by herself. “Please don't go.”

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