|River Tam is in your post confusing you (notmymemory) wrote in wariscoming,|
@ 2012-07-23 23:24:00
|Entry tags:||mr. dark, river tam|
Who: Mr Dark and River Tam
What: Face to face meeting
When: Night of 23 July 2012
Where: Site of the Shadow Show
Status: Thread/In Progress
The memories were there, poking at her brain, hurting her. People were loud but not as loud as they usually were. She knew it was bad, dangerous. She knew that the loudness of everyone could destroy her. Oh, River knew. She knew too much. Things she shouldn't know and it tore into her. It was a pea. Wasn't that what she had said back in the Academy? There was was a pea stuck in her spine and she couldn't get it out. It would never get out. They could cut away at her, cut into her and laugh but it never would go away. Even with the silent calm that Mara and Luke had... it would never go away. Because it was poking at her. And in the end, she needed Simon. She would always need Simon because he had come for her. Had read the letters and knew and had saved her. And she had tried to save him and now he was gone. Not because of what she did, but because she was meant to be alone. But she was never alone, not really. Luke and Mara, everyone who she couldn't shut out. And the damned memories burning a hole into her brain.
It was hot. Hot and muggy and sticky and it left River anxious. She needed to move and there was only so much she could do while inside. And the walls were buzzing with technology, the hum of false life and created things that did not feel. They were mind numbing. So she left. It wasn't uncommon. River had been known to slip out and wander at random. Mara worried because she always worried but River never disappeared. Not really. She just needed quiet and movement and air. Because there wasn't air in the black. There also wasn't this sticky heat. It was always a controlled temperature on Serenity and River didn't get to go off ship all that often. The further in the black they were, the better but still, she was mostly on ship. But here there was no control. No control of life or death, of pain and loss, no control of temperature. It was just sticky.
The sun had long gone down, the temperature just slightly cooler. She walked and wandered, watched the people happy and in love, the people who thought no one saw them and cried silently. The people who planned and wanted to hurt others and the people who just wanted to enjoy their lives. She watched them all, maneuvering through the streets and trees and through the alleys. She wasn't afraid. There was anger in the world at the loss of Moriarty, confusion amongst the criminals but she wasn't afraid. Not of them but of the dark. The shadows. Yet even as she feared them, they led her to tents and lights and people milling. Secrets were loud and the loss of hopes and dreams were deafening. They were gone and the darkness consumed people. She knew she should get away, leave. She didn't want to talk to him. Didn't want to know. He hurt her head, her heart, her feelings. She knew what he was. He created darkness and thrived on it. But the shadows kept pushing her in. People didn't think it was possible but it was and oh she was getting dizzy trying to find a way out.