It was funny, really. Myka hadn't even wanted the transfer. She had felt she was too valuable an asset to be transferred to Unville for some branch of the government no one could know of. To be considered part of the IRS, so people never talked to them. And now? Now Myka would give anything to go back, to somehow find a way to save the Warehouse, Helena, Steve. To somehow do it without the negative side effects an artifact would leave behind. She had meant it when she told Claudia that while Artie might have a way to reverse the destruction, they didn't know the cost. As much as she wanted to be selfish...she couldn't. It wasn't in Myka to be. She would always put her country and the human race first before her personal feelings.
But it hurt. It hurt to do so but she had to. Funny how a woman who took her vows to the United States so seriously, who valued truth above all else, had been able to have an affair with a still married man, on his way to be separated or not. Could lie to Artie about her involvement with Helena because he didn't trust her, only to end up barely stopping her from destroying the world. She valued truth yet had been lied to and used and saved by one woman.
Anatoly said there was more to a person than their job, what they did. And Myka knew this. At least for more people. But the Warehouse. You couldn't leave it because it became a part of you. It was secret and she knew better than to explain that fact to someone who grew up in the Soviet Union, no matter the reason. But she still sighed.
"I'm aware of that. But if there's a purpose and reason? It defines you. How does holding onto serving and protecting, the truth, do any good in this? I can hold onto that all I like, but it does no good when you watch years of your life and the person who knows you best explode because of a psychopath. It does no good when you see people die everyday. When you have to lie to protect people. It does no good when you're stuck sitting around waiting for the next catastrophe to strike. To break your own heart because no matter how selfish you want to be, you know you can't."
With her glass refilled, Myka took a sip. Okay, Anatoly wasn't being Pete anymore. Then again, Pete already understood because it was his life, too.
"What do you do when the person who balances you is still back home, surrounded by the loss of all those hours of work, the memories?"